itstime to shave my butthole hair

[Garfield]

ive been using half a roll of toilet paper per bowel movement, the poop, it gets stuck to the side of the outer annus wall and then when i drag the cottonelle with added aloe through the forest of butt pubes it acts as a filter and grabs ahold of my poo poo and wont let go nd then the paper is never clean ad i just keep wiping even sometimes for more than an hour

[maks]

why are you using aloe you're essentially pasting the turds in there with grease you need a little bit of texture there to scrape the shit off your inner cheek area especially if it's an especially sticky one (do you eat a lot of cheese)

anyway, it's the paper not the hair. I'll bet this never happens when you're in a public restroom using their sandpaper grade scott tissue.

[maks]

seriously put some axel grease on your finger and try to scrape it off with that aloe shit, it's not going to work you're rubbing something ghreasy with something greasy that's what you're doing in your butt by the time you're done what you're cleaning out is stool stained aloe

[Garfield]

hmm i noticed when i use baby wet wipes it seems to smear the turd around rather than clean the butthole itself, you could have a point but i think the real underlying issue is that i allow my cheeks to "close" before wipig, thus smashing the remaining turd particles into the nooks ad crannys of the anus it self. i wonder if i use a credit card or somethig if the poop will scrape off more efficiently

[Garfield]

the aloe could be moistenig the poop as i wipe but then again it is quilted so the pockets in the paper should catch alot of the turd, ive been drinking alot of wine lately and having very strong "egg farts" i woder if this has aything to do with my buttholes ability to let loose

[StompleB]

get a bidet

[maks]

if mine is kind of dry and caked in there I'll wet a wad of toilet paper followed up by a dry wad of toilet paper but to be honest I've never had a better experience than plain old 50 cent a roll white double ply

you could always become one of those guys who hops in the shower every time he shits but with your irritable bowel syndrome that might make an impact on your water bill

[maks]

get a bidet

don't fucking post here anymore

[Garfield]

i think im just going to kill myself

[Garfield]

instead.

[maks]

i think im just going to kill myself

that's pretty fucking dramatic when the alternative is buying a different toilet paper

[maks]

try getting one of those stools (heh stool) that converts a white people toilet into a squat toilet it's supposed to help those with difficult rectums

[Gentleman Doli]

Try eating the poop.

[timmy]

garfield quick question: do you even spread your cheeks when pooping or do you not spread them at all

[Garfield]

well im not a total fag barry so i just go poop like a normal human being if theres some kind of poop wizardry i need to know please fill my hole with advice

[timmy]

spread your cheeks like the grand canyon,

[timmy]

maybe its your poop, maybe you need a better diet NO BODY KNOWS IM NOT A DOCTOR OKAY

[reno]

yougu8ys are fucking disgusting

[timmy]

Theres no girls around no need to pretend tobe grossed out

[reno]

i make cum jokes not toilet humor i have class and style

[maks]

this isn't a joke reno garfield has a legitimate problem and he needs his friends' support and advice

[Garfield]

best friends update: i shaved my butthole hair nd have been cleansailing for the last few days, bulked up my fiber intake and my turds hvave been more solid then usual

[skrizach]

I'm happy to hear that garf I'm glad you're doing well.
And thanks for the pic I loved it! I wasn't able to screenshot it in time though :(

[maks]

this is a real load off my mind

[steveyos YOLO]

Not sure why this isn't a sticky thread

[maks]

it was until he shaved his butt hair

[Camoron]

Not sure why this isn't a sticky thread

Nice standards brah

[maks]

Nice standards brah

the lizards ran around unchecked for years and now roxtoyz is back, there's no such thing as standards at this forum it's a dump for the internet's lowest common denominators

[Garfield]

it was until he shaved his butt hair