rubycalaber
04-18-2015, 12:10 AM
this was actually first game I'd played after a 8 month break but I decided to post it second in this new wave of threads since I knew the second tinychat centric game I played would be more to the forums liking so now that I've tricked you into thinking maybe these threads will be cool here is an hours worth of three autistic retards yelling at each other over a walking simulator
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWAacGFYS3w
after getting reaquanted with how fucking bad this game is and introducing camoron to it's great michanics like having to "reload" a fire axe to swing it cam meets a friendly stranger who helps him out and is shocked and appauled and amused to find that tim and I of course immediately burst in and execute everyone in the building lmao then camoron experiences the joys of how easy it is to fall off of something and get crippled in dayz but thanks to tim and I's medical experience we save his life, then just after we take off simulating walking to a van I saw before I spot someone running along the beach so of course we all converge on him and I blast the fuck outta him, funniest quote from this video: tim: "I'm pretty much coming in your general area" me: "yeah I bet you are"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgvDxHka3CY
once we get literally the DHARMA van from Lost up and running we head off towards the north east airfield and after a lot of faffing about and bluescreening to try and refuel the thing we end up in probably stary sobor in the middle of the map and find evidence of other players setting up camp there but before anything fun can happen the server drops of course, funniest quote from this video: camoron: "I've talked to you about [Lost] like dozens of times" me: "yeah sorry it's just that you're a no name faggot and I don't remember any of our conversations"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyyfdrF5tsg
we logged back onto the same server only to get sniped by the other players set up in the area but things start looking up when I regroup with camoron on the coast and make it to boloto airfield to find a chopper but then of course things look straight down when zombies encircle us and start gang raping us, the chopper doesnt work at all and even getting in the gunner seat injures you, most erotic quote from this video: tim: "have you ever put pegs on your nipples while you masturbate?" me: "yeah I have, and I've put an elastic band around my ballsack" you know just some lads having some banter no homo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P52skJ2O_KI
after some extreme pro gaming where I realize the laptop on my desk is leaching wifi and making my computer lag and then throw the fucking laptop across the room to stop it me and cam spend ages collecting the required tat to repair the chopper but I get pwwwwnnnntttt by an aimbotter and die a third time for this stupid thing so I give up and run to elektro to meet up with tim to help him fiddle around with getting a car working, funniest quotes from this video: me: "IT DOES MATTER BECAUSE THEN IF YOU DIE I WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN STOP RUNNING TOWARDS YOU! STOP MAKING WEIRD VOCALIZATIONS! STOP SUCKING A DICK! OR IM GONNA IP BAN YOU FROM MY FUCKING FORUM M8Y BOI!!!", camoron reading an elz post: "keep saying like random words as clay the skickerer idiot faggot obese retard stinker" and when barry accidentally calls me Glory for some reason
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUU7jTCX5_s
in classic dayz style as soon as camoron kills himself by accidentally ejecting out of our car tim and I get into an intense game of cat and mouse amongst the industrial buildings of cherno which again in classic dayz style ends with us both mag dumping on a guy, making him only pass out, then me mag dumping again into his chest, with seemingly every single shot hitting his rifle and deflecting off, leaving him alive, only for his friend to come up and murder me so I start taking the game less seriously and just start talking shit to people on all-chat since in the mod it was basically like an open skype call to everyone else in the game if you put it on the right channel lmao and I set some fagboy off by calling him mate too much and when barry and cam start making autistic jokes someone literally says OI CAN YOU SHUT UP I HAVE AUTISM AND THAT'S VERY OFFENSIVE and when barry picks me up in a military truck he found we all start winding these carebears up until one of them yells ARE YOU GUYS 14 YEARS OLD AND ON XBOX LIVE? PLAY THE FUCKING GAME YOU IDIOT FUCKS!!! and then everyone gets so mad there's like 10 people yelling angrily over each other and one guy even accuses me of using a bad scottish accent lmao, best overall quote: tim: "I'm gonna fuck your brother" me: "I'm gonna fuck your dad" cam: "I'm gonna fuck my own sister" watch it with the copyrighted gimmicks m8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmugk5aBWPs
once we get tired of rustling the fuck out of the entire rest of the game tim turns his trolling towards me by honking the horn to attract zombies when I need to get out to bandage and then driving off as they chase after me and then tries to run me over when he comes after me, live by the rustling die by the rustling I guess, but then we finally after several hours and trying to get four separate vehicles running do we make it to the NEAF but we need to bail out the truck when we get to the barracks as we're getting swarmed by zombies that magically get you through a steel plate door and after a huge fight against a hoard of dozens of teleporting and phasing military zombies another guy shows up with a car so tim hops back in our truck with cameron and chases after him for an epic carchase through the airfield that climaxes in the enemy simple getting out of his for and shooting all three of us lmao a fitting finale to this thread's dayz videos, best quotes: tim: "ruby you're the worst teammate in the world and you should feel bad" camoron: "except for me" tim: "camoron I'm not even going to start with you" & me: "do you have anything to say for the forums when I post this in like a years time?" camoron: "I'm gay and autistic" also surprised the forums are still up despite my predictions congratulations I guess
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu8vT_qWmTc
but the autism is not over quite yet because me and camoron realized we both had far cry 3 so decided to try out it's co-op mode unfortunately (or actually kind of fortunately because it looks really funny and intersting and all the explosions are beutiful) I had some weird glitch where EVERYTHING IN THE GAME WAS BLUE FOR SOME REASON when I checked the fraps footage god bless alienwares anyway this game features a playable character called CALLUM, A SCOTTISH NED WHO GOES ABOUT STABBING PEOPLE lmao not kidding and I of course play as him as cam and I go through an epic adventure featuring fixing a boat by burning it with a blowtorch as you do, me exploiting by simply swimming over to an enemy gunboat and using its mounted 50 cal machine gun to mow down the niggers, playing some stupid quadbike mini-game where we compete against each other for no reason, try to avoid dogs from ramming their knots up us, killing a big fat guy who we called stevey because he was fat 2 years ago to blow up a birdge and camoron going full cody in his kkk days on the local blacks with a flamethrower, best quote of the video: me: "alright lets rustle some jimmies" camoron: "our own"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgttJosrG3I
more operating goes down where we have to find tat to repair a train dayz style, bomb another bridge despite a bunch of rustling involving getting tapped inside each other like tim and keith using cockrings and not being able to push the only button on a remote detonator, get through one cave which takes us 10 tries working together but when I go to take a piss camoron 1v1s the entire area by himself and then ambush a massive convoy of soldiers which we only get through via the power of dubstep pumping us up, best quote: callum: "yer bums oot a windae"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWAacGFYS3w
after getting reaquanted with how fucking bad this game is and introducing camoron to it's great michanics like having to "reload" a fire axe to swing it cam meets a friendly stranger who helps him out and is shocked and appauled and amused to find that tim and I of course immediately burst in and execute everyone in the building lmao then camoron experiences the joys of how easy it is to fall off of something and get crippled in dayz but thanks to tim and I's medical experience we save his life, then just after we take off simulating walking to a van I saw before I spot someone running along the beach so of course we all converge on him and I blast the fuck outta him, funniest quote from this video: tim: "I'm pretty much coming in your general area" me: "yeah I bet you are"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgvDxHka3CY
once we get literally the DHARMA van from Lost up and running we head off towards the north east airfield and after a lot of faffing about and bluescreening to try and refuel the thing we end up in probably stary sobor in the middle of the map and find evidence of other players setting up camp there but before anything fun can happen the server drops of course, funniest quote from this video: camoron: "I've talked to you about [Lost] like dozens of times" me: "yeah sorry it's just that you're a no name faggot and I don't remember any of our conversations"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyyfdrF5tsg
we logged back onto the same server only to get sniped by the other players set up in the area but things start looking up when I regroup with camoron on the coast and make it to boloto airfield to find a chopper but then of course things look straight down when zombies encircle us and start gang raping us, the chopper doesnt work at all and even getting in the gunner seat injures you, most erotic quote from this video: tim: "have you ever put pegs on your nipples while you masturbate?" me: "yeah I have, and I've put an elastic band around my ballsack" you know just some lads having some banter no homo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P52skJ2O_KI
after some extreme pro gaming where I realize the laptop on my desk is leaching wifi and making my computer lag and then throw the fucking laptop across the room to stop it me and cam spend ages collecting the required tat to repair the chopper but I get pwwwwnnnntttt by an aimbotter and die a third time for this stupid thing so I give up and run to elektro to meet up with tim to help him fiddle around with getting a car working, funniest quotes from this video: me: "IT DOES MATTER BECAUSE THEN IF YOU DIE I WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN STOP RUNNING TOWARDS YOU! STOP MAKING WEIRD VOCALIZATIONS! STOP SUCKING A DICK! OR IM GONNA IP BAN YOU FROM MY FUCKING FORUM M8Y BOI!!!", camoron reading an elz post: "keep saying like random words as clay the skickerer idiot faggot obese retard stinker" and when barry accidentally calls me Glory for some reason
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUU7jTCX5_s
in classic dayz style as soon as camoron kills himself by accidentally ejecting out of our car tim and I get into an intense game of cat and mouse amongst the industrial buildings of cherno which again in classic dayz style ends with us both mag dumping on a guy, making him only pass out, then me mag dumping again into his chest, with seemingly every single shot hitting his rifle and deflecting off, leaving him alive, only for his friend to come up and murder me so I start taking the game less seriously and just start talking shit to people on all-chat since in the mod it was basically like an open skype call to everyone else in the game if you put it on the right channel lmao and I set some fagboy off by calling him mate too much and when barry and cam start making autistic jokes someone literally says OI CAN YOU SHUT UP I HAVE AUTISM AND THAT'S VERY OFFENSIVE and when barry picks me up in a military truck he found we all start winding these carebears up until one of them yells ARE YOU GUYS 14 YEARS OLD AND ON XBOX LIVE? PLAY THE FUCKING GAME YOU IDIOT FUCKS!!! and then everyone gets so mad there's like 10 people yelling angrily over each other and one guy even accuses me of using a bad scottish accent lmao, best overall quote: tim: "I'm gonna fuck your brother" me: "I'm gonna fuck your dad" cam: "I'm gonna fuck my own sister" watch it with the copyrighted gimmicks m8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmugk5aBWPs
once we get tired of rustling the fuck out of the entire rest of the game tim turns his trolling towards me by honking the horn to attract zombies when I need to get out to bandage and then driving off as they chase after me and then tries to run me over when he comes after me, live by the rustling die by the rustling I guess, but then we finally after several hours and trying to get four separate vehicles running do we make it to the NEAF but we need to bail out the truck when we get to the barracks as we're getting swarmed by zombies that magically get you through a steel plate door and after a huge fight against a hoard of dozens of teleporting and phasing military zombies another guy shows up with a car so tim hops back in our truck with cameron and chases after him for an epic carchase through the airfield that climaxes in the enemy simple getting out of his for and shooting all three of us lmao a fitting finale to this thread's dayz videos, best quotes: tim: "ruby you're the worst teammate in the world and you should feel bad" camoron: "except for me" tim: "camoron I'm not even going to start with you" & me: "do you have anything to say for the forums when I post this in like a years time?" camoron: "I'm gay and autistic" also surprised the forums are still up despite my predictions congratulations I guess
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu8vT_qWmTc
but the autism is not over quite yet because me and camoron realized we both had far cry 3 so decided to try out it's co-op mode unfortunately (or actually kind of fortunately because it looks really funny and intersting and all the explosions are beutiful) I had some weird glitch where EVERYTHING IN THE GAME WAS BLUE FOR SOME REASON when I checked the fraps footage god bless alienwares anyway this game features a playable character called CALLUM, A SCOTTISH NED WHO GOES ABOUT STABBING PEOPLE lmao not kidding and I of course play as him as cam and I go through an epic adventure featuring fixing a boat by burning it with a blowtorch as you do, me exploiting by simply swimming over to an enemy gunboat and using its mounted 50 cal machine gun to mow down the niggers, playing some stupid quadbike mini-game where we compete against each other for no reason, try to avoid dogs from ramming their knots up us, killing a big fat guy who we called stevey because he was fat 2 years ago to blow up a birdge and camoron going full cody in his kkk days on the local blacks with a flamethrower, best quote of the video: me: "alright lets rustle some jimmies" camoron: "our own"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgttJosrG3I
more operating goes down where we have to find tat to repair a train dayz style, bomb another bridge despite a bunch of rustling involving getting tapped inside each other like tim and keith using cockrings and not being able to push the only button on a remote detonator, get through one cave which takes us 10 tries working together but when I go to take a piss camoron 1v1s the entire area by himself and then ambush a massive convoy of soldiers which we only get through via the power of dubstep pumping us up, best quote: callum: "yer bums oot a windae"