rubycalaber
05-07-2015, 01:09 PM
it's here, the thread no one has been waiting for, and its only 54 minutes long which is pretty short for one of these terrible threads, without further abdul let me premiere THE CAG DAYZ THREAD, only possible because CAG STRIPPED ON WEBCAM FOR ME IN RETURN FOR BUYING HER DAYZ http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/cagtits_zps7b04ca88.png~original (which is funny since I buy men games for free), and recorded on the same night that me cag and cam made our The Room commentary (http://rubycalaber.com/forums/showthread.php?8879-The-Room-Commentary-by-Ruby-Camoron-amp-Cag-Lisa-and-Plug-Drugs-Special-Edition)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7nEuTJ2uqY
after fat american camoron talks shit about me being 96 pounds (not a joke or a gimmick) cag tells a story about how this cop regularly pulls her over and asks her if she has a bazooka in her car every time and if there's one thing I hate more than cops and talking to other humans it's unfunny faggot normies so I advice her to say no but I have a gun so then he'll stop harassing her since hes clearly just a male pig shitlord who fancies her then cag finally loads in and chooses her character which you do for some reason in this server and her profile says "shes had all kinds of experiences with drug dealers and gangsters and hates everyone around her and only cares about herself" and cag says I feel like I'm reading a horoscope lmao and then shes like IM A BULLDYKE WITH A HUGE ASS and cam is like yes but what are you in the game? lmao also cag was very drunk and she seemed literally scared of the zombies and there was a bit where all I hear from her end since the dumb cunts is using speakers for gaming of course is bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang... is it dead?... RAAAAARGH!!! so I think she gets the idea of the game fast which is to just run away from the zombies and not fight them and then she starts fiddling for another bottle of wine and tells us I USED THE SUCTION OF MY VAGINA TO PULL THE CORK OUT which caused her to squirt wine all over her face :naughty: and then I find an enflield and say its time to operate matey boy and cag says theres a guy at my work who says matey boy and then I say well I say it completely ironically so hes a fucking faggot and then cag tells a story about how she thinks hes cool because once he walked up to her and started eating her food without asking her and since cag is a lizard an obvious sign of being an asshole means hes cool and then of course she has a story about how his wife took his kids back to ireland since everyone a lizard has ever met has a drama filled life but cag finds this hilarious an cam is like THATS NOT FUNNY! and cag is like YES IT IS! and I'm like its always funny whenever a woman does something bad to a man and there is a funny thing where cam gets uppity whenever I talk over cag since he was obsessed with her and due to being an alpha male and gay I dont have a problem with talking over women and then cag takes me to task over my accusation that 99% of all star trek fans are pedos but camoron corrects her by saying no it was that 99% of pedos are star trek fans which is literally true according to toronto police (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-ladowsky/pedophilia-and-star-trek_b_5857.html) and then camoron talks about his star trek recuts (https://www.youtube.com/user/therealCamoron) which I liked and his idea for having someone murder westley but he couldnt get it to work so just gave up yeah I know that feel bro these fucking dayz threads is that feel bro oh and then I kill someone or whatever at the end
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysEFcpnmkYg
this entire video takes place ontop of one of the appartment buildings as I sit around waiting to get another kill with my enfield and camoron comes up to join me and I ask him would you like to see my vagina m8? and show him up lada gagas skirt and I get another kill right away on the same guy logging out in a field so I literally execute a surrending woman from 96 meters away syrian army sniper style then after we both almost fall off and cam almost shoots me in the head by accident we get a zombie breach after they learn how to climb ladders and I just hide while camoron fights them all and then as cag is running around screaming in terror from zombies going RUN OH MY GOD RUN OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAA RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING NIGGER LIFE cam tries to describe the building we're on to her and he leans over the side to see what color it is and falls off lmao and then cag lags out and someone kills her and on her end she comes up to the roof and sees me and drops dead but for me the body wont even show up here lmao what a good game so in an alternate reality created by the extreme lag I met cag in the game but not in my reality and then cam comes back up and balances on the side on his penis while cag rants about how much she hates and wants to kill her aunt (who she later admitted to me she got drunk and made out with when she was 17) for lagging out her internet and cam says its probably because you have so many people sharing your pipeline and I'm like YEAH I BET SHE DOES and he gets mad lmao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4JSRHi_iMs
after loading into another server and getting a new char I finally get over that mountain to a nice new town to explore as cag fails to load her game and entertains us by reading out lizard forum drivel and cam talks about looking up her house to deliver her packages and definitely not rape her and then cag tells a typical lizard story about her boss yelling at her to shut up because she was talking over his wife (who is of course cheating on him lmao) and these scumbags dont even have the internet which I propose must be why they are so mad all the time and cag is so drunk cam is actually concerned and asks her how much shes had lmao and then cag admits to drinking with people and then calling the police on them with their number plate and reporting them for drunk driving what a fucking cunt wow then she talks about how she wants to have cody meet up with her and then have him jumped by 6 niggers then things get awkward when she calls her internet a cunt and camoron thinks she was talking to him and then cam getting sensitive when cag jokes about how sensitive he is and cags perscription is that he needs to go party at the bar (I dont want to be one of those people who hates people who just want to go party every week of their lives but if they're all like cag......) and then cag finally spawns but then someone instantly kills her lmao and she chimps out, or rather cags out, on her computer and cam is so uncomfortable he starts begging us to watch The Room and I say yeah sure we can do that and we agree to make a commentary about it and cam can explain it to us and I'll be the one who makes jokes about it being plug drugs every two seconds because I'm very funny and cag can uh try not to pass out and cag starts creaming I HAVE A KNIFE HERE IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE LEG and talking about her muscle and fat spilling out and cam is like PLEASE DONT DO THAT lmao and cag starts talking about sending a message to deso saying I love you and I'm like I'm jealous (of cag (I love deso :love:)) and shes like you guys had me fooled I thought deso was a girl (double trolled since she is) and cam is like I thought you were going to take a break from drinking? and cag is like I decided not to lmao and she starts whining I THINK I REALLY DO WANT TO DIE IN REAL LIFE I NEED A STOOL AND A SOLID BEAM AND A ROPE AND IM GONNA FUCKING HANG MYSELF FROM IT and cam is like... are you ok? you're being really weird tonight and cag just says you're going to read about it in the papers, clarissa hung herself blah blah blah and as I'm fighting off zombies cag is like OH MY GOD IM GONNA KILL MYSELF I REALLY AM, IM GONNA SLIT MY WRISTS and cam just mumbles to me I'm like... kinda worried and finally cag explains IM JUST LYING HERE ON THE GROUND LOOKING AT MY HAND AND I CANT GET UP, KILL ME PLEASE, KILL ME, IM LOSING BLOOD which is the first time she's made sense to us since shes screaming about the game being shit as always but then literally HER GRANDMOTHER COMES INTO THE ROOM AND YELLS AT HER CLARISSA! I HEARD THAT CONVERSATION! GET DOWN HERE! lmao like shes scorpion from mortal combat GET OVER HERE! *fires chain into cags chest and reels her down the stairs* because cag's grandmother (who she told us back then was her mum but her real mum gave her up when she was 2 to her grandparents to raise because she was literally addicted to crack and now she has been murdered and dismembered in the desert) had thought she was talking about killing herself and bleeding to death in real life lmao so of course her response to this is not omg are you ok or are you ok do you want to talk about anything its to GET ANGRY at her grandaughter for being suicidal lmmfao god these people and then after cag explains that its just a game she comes to tell us what happened and she of course defends her grandmothers overreaction that what else could she think I was talking about and cam is like maybe you're on your period idk lmmfao caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEcuDvWIpt4
for this video at random for no reason my mic is quiet and my game audio is out of sync with the video but who cares I only care about caaaaaaag and now she is reading out more lizard forum posts one from flaglerchat about a guy called matty saying his dad used to put mascara on him to beat him because he got turned on by how his tears made it run which is some real neato pedophile erotica you wrote there flag TOO BAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD NOW HAHAHAHAHAHA then some guy called Kyle S kills me and cam as we try and meet on a new server and he starts begging me to watch The Room already lmao and when he blows us away again cam cant take it and closes his game lmao and then cag starts dropping more cag goodness or cagoodness if you will where she says WHEN I SEE BLACK PEOPLE IM REALLY GROSSED OUT, LIKE EWW and then tells a story about a guy she fucked who had a small dick who kept saying do you love my cock? and when she sayd she did he'd yell SHE LOVES MY COCK! lmao rooty and then she talks about wanting breast implants and I tell her not to and then cag gets on mic in the game to ask them not to kill her but she uses all chat and double taps capslock by accident and gets her mic stuck on and everyone in the game hears her saying HITLER IS AWESOME I HAVE A DICK IM A LITTLE BOY AND I HAVE TINY LITTLE BALLS AND THEY'RE REALLY SOFT and the other gamers get really mad and yell at her ILL FUCKING MURDER YOU so she says back YOU'RE A FAT VIRGIN and he goes IM GONNA CHOP YOU UP IM GONNA FEED YOU TO YOUR PETS and some nerd is like OH MY GOD WHOEVER KEEPS TALKING ON SIDE CHAT I SWEAR TO GOD IM GONNA KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM and another says I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW THATS A FUCKING GUY and then cam gets back in the game and kills john mclane as I run away from Kyle S begging him not to kill me saying I'll cyber him and cam tries to tell cag what shes doing and the dumb cunt doesnt know shes doing anything wrong and these nerds are getting real worked up and one of them starts growling I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL and another asks ARE YOU A TRAP? lmao and another screams I HOPE YOU GET AIDS! so cag says back I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A PACK OF NIGGERS! and he replies back ALREADY HAPPENED JOKES ON YOU lmao and someone unironically says FUCKING RACIST! and the first guy says LISTEN DUMBASS FUCKING KID YOU'RE GONNA GET KICKED OFF THIS SERVER AND YOU'RE MAKING IT SO NONE OF US CAN HEAR A GODDAMN THING and someone agrees saying FUCKING DIE MAN and cag is like PLEASE STOP BEING MEAN TO ME IM 12 YEARS OLD PLEASE DONT BE MEAN TO ME and they're like NO ONE GIVES A SHIT GET THE FUCK OFF THIS SERVER YOU STUPID FUCK and cam tells her what to say and cag says YOU'RE JUST MAD BECAUSE CAMORON KILLED YOU lmao and the one smart guy in the game says STOP GIVING THIS FUCKER ATTENTION and cam yells at her DOUBLE TAB CAPS LOCK which I hear playing on her end lmao and a random nerd begs WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS? and cag yells at him EVERY GUY ON HERE WEIGHS 300 POUNDS and hes like COULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET IM TRYING TO LISTEN and cag is like NO IM NOT GOING TO BE QUIET SUCK MY FUCKING COCK and then I realize everyone can hear me through cags mic so I start screaming KYLE S IM COMING FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKER so I can mic spam through her and not risk getting banned lmao and cag starts furiously hitting caps lock as we tell her what to do but instead of double tappin git she hits it like 10 times lmao leaving it stuck on and when she finally gets it off the admin finally kicks her off lmao and then cam tells me you have a lot of blowjobs on your visitor page beacuse of desolation yeah you jealous m8? :smug:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsZQ_K5bRI
this video is literally just cag saying HIS DOG, HIS DICK WAS SO GROSS I WOULD NEVER TOUCH IT, IT HAD LIKE DIFFERENT COLORS AND HE WOULD JUMP UP ON ME AND TRY TO RAPE ME WITH HIS COCK, HE HAD A HUGE DOCK DICK, I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN HE GAVE HIM AWAY BECAUSE I WOULD BE RAPED AGAIN BY A DOG, OH GOD THATS GOING TO GO ON THE FORUM AND IM GOING TO REGRET IT, CAG RAPED BY DOG and then cam saying MY DAD HAD A FRIEND WHO HAD A DOG AND I WAS A LITTLE KID AND THE DOG KEPT TRYING TO HUMP MY LEG, I WAS SITTING DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND THE DOG TRIED TO RAPE ME, IT WAS LIKE RAPING MY THIGH, AND I WAS LIKE DAD GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME, AND HE WAS LAUGHING and then I tell him that when I was scared of a dog as a little kid my dad told me that you can kill a dog by grabbing its arms and pulling them apart which will break its ribcage and puncture its heart and lungs with its own ribs killing it instantly so my dads better than his lmao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7nEuTJ2uqY
after fat american camoron talks shit about me being 96 pounds (not a joke or a gimmick) cag tells a story about how this cop regularly pulls her over and asks her if she has a bazooka in her car every time and if there's one thing I hate more than cops and talking to other humans it's unfunny faggot normies so I advice her to say no but I have a gun so then he'll stop harassing her since hes clearly just a male pig shitlord who fancies her then cag finally loads in and chooses her character which you do for some reason in this server and her profile says "shes had all kinds of experiences with drug dealers and gangsters and hates everyone around her and only cares about herself" and cag says I feel like I'm reading a horoscope lmao and then shes like IM A BULLDYKE WITH A HUGE ASS and cam is like yes but what are you in the game? lmao also cag was very drunk and she seemed literally scared of the zombies and there was a bit where all I hear from her end since the dumb cunts is using speakers for gaming of course is bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang... is it dead?... RAAAAARGH!!! so I think she gets the idea of the game fast which is to just run away from the zombies and not fight them and then she starts fiddling for another bottle of wine and tells us I USED THE SUCTION OF MY VAGINA TO PULL THE CORK OUT which caused her to squirt wine all over her face :naughty: and then I find an enflield and say its time to operate matey boy and cag says theres a guy at my work who says matey boy and then I say well I say it completely ironically so hes a fucking faggot and then cag tells a story about how she thinks hes cool because once he walked up to her and started eating her food without asking her and since cag is a lizard an obvious sign of being an asshole means hes cool and then of course she has a story about how his wife took his kids back to ireland since everyone a lizard has ever met has a drama filled life but cag finds this hilarious an cam is like THATS NOT FUNNY! and cag is like YES IT IS! and I'm like its always funny whenever a woman does something bad to a man and there is a funny thing where cam gets uppity whenever I talk over cag since he was obsessed with her and due to being an alpha male and gay I dont have a problem with talking over women and then cag takes me to task over my accusation that 99% of all star trek fans are pedos but camoron corrects her by saying no it was that 99% of pedos are star trek fans which is literally true according to toronto police (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-ladowsky/pedophilia-and-star-trek_b_5857.html) and then camoron talks about his star trek recuts (https://www.youtube.com/user/therealCamoron) which I liked and his idea for having someone murder westley but he couldnt get it to work so just gave up yeah I know that feel bro these fucking dayz threads is that feel bro oh and then I kill someone or whatever at the end
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysEFcpnmkYg
this entire video takes place ontop of one of the appartment buildings as I sit around waiting to get another kill with my enfield and camoron comes up to join me and I ask him would you like to see my vagina m8? and show him up lada gagas skirt and I get another kill right away on the same guy logging out in a field so I literally execute a surrending woman from 96 meters away syrian army sniper style then after we both almost fall off and cam almost shoots me in the head by accident we get a zombie breach after they learn how to climb ladders and I just hide while camoron fights them all and then as cag is running around screaming in terror from zombies going RUN OH MY GOD RUN OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAA RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING NIGGER LIFE cam tries to describe the building we're on to her and he leans over the side to see what color it is and falls off lmao and then cag lags out and someone kills her and on her end she comes up to the roof and sees me and drops dead but for me the body wont even show up here lmao what a good game so in an alternate reality created by the extreme lag I met cag in the game but not in my reality and then cam comes back up and balances on the side on his penis while cag rants about how much she hates and wants to kill her aunt (who she later admitted to me she got drunk and made out with when she was 17) for lagging out her internet and cam says its probably because you have so many people sharing your pipeline and I'm like YEAH I BET SHE DOES and he gets mad lmao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4JSRHi_iMs
after loading into another server and getting a new char I finally get over that mountain to a nice new town to explore as cag fails to load her game and entertains us by reading out lizard forum drivel and cam talks about looking up her house to deliver her packages and definitely not rape her and then cag tells a typical lizard story about her boss yelling at her to shut up because she was talking over his wife (who is of course cheating on him lmao) and these scumbags dont even have the internet which I propose must be why they are so mad all the time and cag is so drunk cam is actually concerned and asks her how much shes had lmao and then cag admits to drinking with people and then calling the police on them with their number plate and reporting them for drunk driving what a fucking cunt wow then she talks about how she wants to have cody meet up with her and then have him jumped by 6 niggers then things get awkward when she calls her internet a cunt and camoron thinks she was talking to him and then cam getting sensitive when cag jokes about how sensitive he is and cags perscription is that he needs to go party at the bar (I dont want to be one of those people who hates people who just want to go party every week of their lives but if they're all like cag......) and then cag finally spawns but then someone instantly kills her lmao and she chimps out, or rather cags out, on her computer and cam is so uncomfortable he starts begging us to watch The Room and I say yeah sure we can do that and we agree to make a commentary about it and cam can explain it to us and I'll be the one who makes jokes about it being plug drugs every two seconds because I'm very funny and cag can uh try not to pass out and cag starts creaming I HAVE A KNIFE HERE IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE LEG and talking about her muscle and fat spilling out and cam is like PLEASE DONT DO THAT lmao and cag starts talking about sending a message to deso saying I love you and I'm like I'm jealous (of cag (I love deso :love:)) and shes like you guys had me fooled I thought deso was a girl (double trolled since she is) and cam is like I thought you were going to take a break from drinking? and cag is like I decided not to lmao and she starts whining I THINK I REALLY DO WANT TO DIE IN REAL LIFE I NEED A STOOL AND A SOLID BEAM AND A ROPE AND IM GONNA FUCKING HANG MYSELF FROM IT and cam is like... are you ok? you're being really weird tonight and cag just says you're going to read about it in the papers, clarissa hung herself blah blah blah and as I'm fighting off zombies cag is like OH MY GOD IM GONNA KILL MYSELF I REALLY AM, IM GONNA SLIT MY WRISTS and cam just mumbles to me I'm like... kinda worried and finally cag explains IM JUST LYING HERE ON THE GROUND LOOKING AT MY HAND AND I CANT GET UP, KILL ME PLEASE, KILL ME, IM LOSING BLOOD which is the first time she's made sense to us since shes screaming about the game being shit as always but then literally HER GRANDMOTHER COMES INTO THE ROOM AND YELLS AT HER CLARISSA! I HEARD THAT CONVERSATION! GET DOWN HERE! lmao like shes scorpion from mortal combat GET OVER HERE! *fires chain into cags chest and reels her down the stairs* because cag's grandmother (who she told us back then was her mum but her real mum gave her up when she was 2 to her grandparents to raise because she was literally addicted to crack and now she has been murdered and dismembered in the desert) had thought she was talking about killing herself and bleeding to death in real life lmao so of course her response to this is not omg are you ok or are you ok do you want to talk about anything its to GET ANGRY at her grandaughter for being suicidal lmmfao god these people and then after cag explains that its just a game she comes to tell us what happened and she of course defends her grandmothers overreaction that what else could she think I was talking about and cam is like maybe you're on your period idk lmmfao caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEcuDvWIpt4
for this video at random for no reason my mic is quiet and my game audio is out of sync with the video but who cares I only care about caaaaaaag and now she is reading out more lizard forum posts one from flaglerchat about a guy called matty saying his dad used to put mascara on him to beat him because he got turned on by how his tears made it run which is some real neato pedophile erotica you wrote there flag TOO BAD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD NOW HAHAHAHAHAHA then some guy called Kyle S kills me and cam as we try and meet on a new server and he starts begging me to watch The Room already lmao and when he blows us away again cam cant take it and closes his game lmao and then cag starts dropping more cag goodness or cagoodness if you will where she says WHEN I SEE BLACK PEOPLE IM REALLY GROSSED OUT, LIKE EWW and then tells a story about a guy she fucked who had a small dick who kept saying do you love my cock? and when she sayd she did he'd yell SHE LOVES MY COCK! lmao rooty and then she talks about wanting breast implants and I tell her not to and then cag gets on mic in the game to ask them not to kill her but she uses all chat and double taps capslock by accident and gets her mic stuck on and everyone in the game hears her saying HITLER IS AWESOME I HAVE A DICK IM A LITTLE BOY AND I HAVE TINY LITTLE BALLS AND THEY'RE REALLY SOFT and the other gamers get really mad and yell at her ILL FUCKING MURDER YOU so she says back YOU'RE A FAT VIRGIN and he goes IM GONNA CHOP YOU UP IM GONNA FEED YOU TO YOUR PETS and some nerd is like OH MY GOD WHOEVER KEEPS TALKING ON SIDE CHAT I SWEAR TO GOD IM GONNA KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM and another says I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW THATS A FUCKING GUY and then cam gets back in the game and kills john mclane as I run away from Kyle S begging him not to kill me saying I'll cyber him and cam tries to tell cag what shes doing and the dumb cunt doesnt know shes doing anything wrong and these nerds are getting real worked up and one of them starts growling I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL and another asks ARE YOU A TRAP? lmao and another screams I HOPE YOU GET AIDS! so cag says back I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A PACK OF NIGGERS! and he replies back ALREADY HAPPENED JOKES ON YOU lmao and someone unironically says FUCKING RACIST! and the first guy says LISTEN DUMBASS FUCKING KID YOU'RE GONNA GET KICKED OFF THIS SERVER AND YOU'RE MAKING IT SO NONE OF US CAN HEAR A GODDAMN THING and someone agrees saying FUCKING DIE MAN and cag is like PLEASE STOP BEING MEAN TO ME IM 12 YEARS OLD PLEASE DONT BE MEAN TO ME and they're like NO ONE GIVES A SHIT GET THE FUCK OFF THIS SERVER YOU STUPID FUCK and cam tells her what to say and cag says YOU'RE JUST MAD BECAUSE CAMORON KILLED YOU lmao and the one smart guy in the game says STOP GIVING THIS FUCKER ATTENTION and cam yells at her DOUBLE TAB CAPS LOCK which I hear playing on her end lmao and a random nerd begs WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS? and cag yells at him EVERY GUY ON HERE WEIGHS 300 POUNDS and hes like COULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET IM TRYING TO LISTEN and cag is like NO IM NOT GOING TO BE QUIET SUCK MY FUCKING COCK and then I realize everyone can hear me through cags mic so I start screaming KYLE S IM COMING FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKER so I can mic spam through her and not risk getting banned lmao and cag starts furiously hitting caps lock as we tell her what to do but instead of double tappin git she hits it like 10 times lmao leaving it stuck on and when she finally gets it off the admin finally kicks her off lmao and then cam tells me you have a lot of blowjobs on your visitor page beacuse of desolation yeah you jealous m8? :smug:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsZQ_K5bRI
this video is literally just cag saying HIS DOG, HIS DICK WAS SO GROSS I WOULD NEVER TOUCH IT, IT HAD LIKE DIFFERENT COLORS AND HE WOULD JUMP UP ON ME AND TRY TO RAPE ME WITH HIS COCK, HE HAD A HUGE DOCK DICK, I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN HE GAVE HIM AWAY BECAUSE I WOULD BE RAPED AGAIN BY A DOG, OH GOD THATS GOING TO GO ON THE FORUM AND IM GOING TO REGRET IT, CAG RAPED BY DOG and then cam saying MY DAD HAD A FRIEND WHO HAD A DOG AND I WAS A LITTLE KID AND THE DOG KEPT TRYING TO HUMP MY LEG, I WAS SITTING DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND THE DOG TRIED TO RAPE ME, IT WAS LIKE RAPING MY THIGH, AND I WAS LIKE DAD GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME, AND HE WAS LAUGHING and then I tell him that when I was scared of a dog as a little kid my dad told me that you can kill a dog by grabbing its arms and pulling them apart which will break its ribcage and puncture its heart and lungs with its own ribs killing it instantly so my dads better than his lmao