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View Full Version : I was abducted by aliens last night.



joe momzaho
08-05-2015, 08:21 AM
They told me I was the chosen one then stuck something in my ass.

urkles girlfriend
08-05-2015, 08:36 AM
so they stimulated your prostate

joe momzaho
08-05-2015, 01:01 PM
I think I just crapped out a baby ET.

Antisera
08-05-2015, 01:03 PM
Have you told this story before? Sounds familiar.

joe momzaho
08-05-2015, 01:05 PM
Nah. Well one time I was captured by the CIA and they implanted a mind control device into my spine. They mostly use it to make my punch myself in the nuts and smoke crack.

Antisera
08-05-2015, 01:17 PM
Nah. Well one time I was captured by the CIA and they implanted a mind control device into my spine. They mostly use it to make my punch myself in the nuts and smoke crack.

So you basically are a cow, or maybe a camel. Any animal that chews cud, really.

Wendy <3
08-05-2015, 01:18 PM
stop chewing cud and chew my meow instead

Antisera
08-05-2015, 01:41 PM
stop chewing cud and chew my meow instead

I just had a c section and I'm trying not to laugh so that I don't rupture something and it's soo hard

joe momzaho
08-05-2015, 01:48 PM
The CIA is telling me to call you a cunt.

Poopalew
08-05-2015, 03:50 PM
The CIA is telling me to call you a cunt.

See that guy over there yeh he could so be called Sam.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:10 PM
The CIA is telling me to call you a cunt.

Heh

She is one, a stupid pathetic one

maks
08-05-2015, 04:13 PM
you're just jealous because she's 40 years younger and 7 points hotter than you

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:14 PM
you're just jealous because she's 40 years younger and 7 points hotter than you

Funny

*YAWN*

maks
08-05-2015, 04:18 PM
not funny, true. that chick is like 19 and she's married and had a kid and I think even a job. what do you have lisa? none of that, and you never will.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:23 PM
not funny, true. that chick is like 19 and she's married and had a kid and I think even a job. what do you have lisa? none of that, and you never will.

Um yeeeeeeah

i have more she looks older than that, is really dumb and pathetic and I'm just better in every way and a lot more successfull see how I spell it

Unless you fancy cody as better than you these are facts

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:24 PM
Plus I got more rep

I am the best poster

maks
08-05-2015, 04:25 PM
lisa how can you possibly call yourself successful? you're living on government assistance because you couldn't handle the stress of working a relatively simple job, that's the polar opposite of success

maks
08-05-2015, 04:26 PM
I'll bet antisera never molested a kid

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:27 PM
lisa how can you possibly call yourself successful? you're living on government assistance because you couldn't handle the stress of working a relatively simple job, that's the polar opposite of success

Because of work I have already done and what I have already accomplished in spite of actually having had had life happen

i'm not as sheltered as you maks

maks
08-05-2015, 04:28 PM
you're a shut-in who flips her shit over the most minor of life's little inconveniences, they don't come much more sheltered than that

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:30 PM
you're a shut-in who flips her shit over the most minor of life's little inconveniences, they don't come much more sheltered than thatyou're a moddy coddled poorly developed ass wipe who is sheltered and knows nothing about life

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:32 PM
i'm pretty fucking far from sheltered maks

unlike you

maks
08-05-2015, 04:34 PM
Yeah, I sure am sheltered, what with my leaving the house every day and working full time and supporting myself. damn I wish I knew how to function in the real world like you.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:40 PM
Yeah, I sure am sheltered, what with my leaving the house every day and working full time and supporting myself. damn I wish I knew how to function in the real world like you.

Maks having a job is not what sheltered or not means

The fact that you do think that proves it even more

You are sheltered and I have also done more jobs than you

maks
08-05-2015, 04:43 PM
I just think it's incredibly ironic that someone who lives in constant fear of leaving her house is calling me sheltered, is all. ya know.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:45 PM
I just think it's incredibly ironic that someone who lives in constant fear of leaving her house is calling me sheltered, is all. ya know.

Except I don't live in fear of it, I just don't want to go out and I hate people they are shit, nonetheless I still go out more than you do

i'm kick ass at public speaking you know, you'd pee your pants

maks
08-05-2015, 04:46 PM
really because you can't post worth shit

maks
08-05-2015, 04:47 PM
I think you'd pee your pants and then go into a manic episode and throw all your clothes out on the lawn, now I'm no psychic but that's what I believe would happen if someone tried to pry you out of your safe little cocoon

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 04:51 PM
I think you'd pee your pants and then go into a manic episode and throw all your clothes out on the lawn, now I'm no psychic but that's what I believe would happen if someone tried to pry you out of your safe little cocoon

Yeah but you're actually dumber than me and have no idea

And that is not what happens

Maks I have dealt with stuff that would break your little moddy coddled sad little narrow mind, you are the only one living in a cocoon, you're going to get a really rude shock one day, you might be old, your mum dead, all alone but you will eventually get a rude shock, you have experienced nothing and know nothing about life which is why you are so shit at having a fucking clue about anyone else

maks
08-05-2015, 04:55 PM
it sounds like it broke your mind too, you've been on mental disability for several years while the rest of us are taking life's little problems a day at a time and working through them, like adults

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:02 PM
it sounds like it broke your mind too, you've been on mental disability for several years while the rest of us are taking life's little problems a day at a time and working through them, like adults

2 years thanks

And even more examples of how fucking sheltered you are

You don't act like an adult mommy's boy, you have a job, most people have jobs maks, shit even I've had more jobs than you and also have more university degrees

You know nothing about life, what "little problems" is your tard ass dealing with maks?

maks
08-05-2015, 05:08 PM
all the 'little problems' you're hiding from being a shut-in collecting government assistance, the every day issues that everyone in the world except you takes as they come

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:09 PM
Maks you literally know NOTHING about anyone's problems

i asked you a question maks

What "little problems" are you dealing with? hell what problems at all have you ever had to deal with mommy's boy?

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:09 PM
i still get out more than you and i have still contributed more than you have

maks
08-05-2015, 05:10 PM
we're all out there living our lives while you're spending half the time bragging about your past and the other half whining about it. get over it, get off your ass and go get a job. it's not that hard, billions of people do it every single day.

maks
08-05-2015, 05:11 PM
"I used to take care of myself" doesn't mean shit. what are you doing *right now*?

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:14 PM
i asked you a question and you literally can't answer and have to make up little stories about other people that aren't true because you lack the mental capacity in that area

Too easy

maks
08-05-2015, 05:17 PM
yeah I lack the mental capacity to fuck up my entire life and end up collecting welfare and murdering my pets

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:23 PM
You can't answer a very simple question maks

Your cracks are showing everywhere

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:28 PM
Anyway to post about shit the way you do literally every day about fucking little kids and also to someone who you know was a victim of it either one of two things maks.... either you were molested or raped as a kid or you're just a fucking pedophile... and honestly I've never seen a victim talk about it as much as you do let alone harass other victims about it... so.....

i'd say you being a pedophile is a bit of a "little problem" wouldn't you?

maks
08-05-2015, 05:32 PM
if you're so capable and not sheltered why should you need me to tell you what normal everyday problems are?

maks
08-05-2015, 05:33 PM
I'll bet you anyone who supports themselves wouldn't need to ask that question

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:35 PM
if you're so capable and not sheltered why should you need me to tell you what normal everyday problems are?

Maks you do not have the mental capacity to even know what a problem is

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 05:38 PM
You're not stupid in the IQ but your EQ is like non existent

I find your narcissism quite cute at times

Have you ever been raped or molested maks? because unless you are in a projection kind of way trying to work through those issues by projecting onto me then sorry but I think the only other explanation for your behaviour is you are a pedophile and this is literally how your brain works and all you think about and you are not that complex

maks
08-05-2015, 05:49 PM
oh I see, anyone who hasn't been raped is shelterede, so really you were helping that kid out and exposing him to the real world. you're really generous lisa, most people wouldn't go that extra mile.

Nuffy
08-05-2015, 05:52 PM
Your constant mutual flirtations in every thread makes me feel very uncomfortable. Get a room.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 08:41 PM
oh I see, anyone who hasn't been raped is shelterede, so really you were helping that kid out and exposing him to the real world. you're really generous lisa, most people wouldn't go that extra mile.

What kid you fucking retard?

Look I am NOT spending all day talking to you about your pedophile fantasies you dumb piece of shit

joe momzaho
08-05-2015, 09:07 PM
Lisa you tore down your shelter by being a retard. That's what the CIA is telling me to type anyway.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 09:11 PM
Go have some crack

maks
08-05-2015, 09:40 PM
What kid you fucking retard?

Look I am NOT spending all day talking to you about your pedophile fantasies you dumb piece of shit

so tell me the real story of how your teaching career ended, and spare me the "dur I was just too smart and empathetic and better than everyone" bullshit tell us the truth

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 09:42 PM
so tell me the real story of how your teaching career ended, and spare me the "dur I was just too smart and empathetic and better than everyone" bullshit tell us the truth

How many times have told you you DUMB fuck???

I left teaching when I mived here to help look after a dying relative, I was never fired from teaching

i am NOT telling you again you DUMB fucking loser

maks
08-05-2015, 09:55 PM
dur I was just too smart and empathetic and better than everyone

bullshit.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 09:58 PM
i'm smarter than you maks

But i owe you no appology for that

You just have to get smarter if that bothers you

maks
08-05-2015, 10:03 PM
way too smart and qualified to figure out how to make your life not shitty

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 10:09 PM
way too smart and qualified to figure out how to make your life not shitty

i think I've been through and dealt with more than you but I'm also a better person than you and have a LOT more in my life than you have ever had

maks
08-05-2015, 10:15 PM
what do you have in your life exactly? no career, no family, no pet, no friends other than a few damaged people you met on the internet. you don't have shit lisa. if you died tomorrow the state would cremate you in a cardboard box and bury you in an unmarked mass grave with the rest of the derelicts.

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 10:17 PM
i got more than you maks

Autistic Spectrum
08-05-2015, 10:18 PM
she was in the god dam circus what have you even done with yourself

maks
08-05-2015, 10:20 PM
i got more than you maks

more free government checks, more wrinkles, and more kinds of herpes

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 10:23 PM
more free government checks, more wrinkles, and more kinds of herpes

No.

i still look younger than you and am fitter than you too

Autistic Spectrum
08-05-2015, 10:24 PM
SHE WALKED THE TIGHT ROPE,, SHE WAS THE STAR OF THE BIG TOP

maks
08-05-2015, 10:27 PM
No.

i still look younger than you and am fitter than you too

more delusions

Lisa Battery
08-05-2015, 10:29 PM
more delusions

Oh it's very true

Autistic Spectrum
08-05-2015, 10:30 PM
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