Lisa Claus
01-31-2013, 11:28 PM
marks98 vs ROY4L forum fanfiction, originally posted: January 12th 2008
so this bad thread started life as a reply to this ROY4L thread: I dare you to kill me in real life. because I saw that marks was like arranging a ytmnsfighttothedeath but ROY4L told him that hes all talk and fucking dominated him well I was thinking this is something I'd write in a gay book about some faggot daring someone to kill him on a forum and then there being a big epic fight scene with loads of action so I was like hmm imagine if marks was going to attack ROY4L lmao and I started writing this gay shit and two hours later it was like 20000 characters of pure shit so I thought hmm what can I do with this so I thought well I made that epic christmas thread two weeks ago and I only have a few ideas of threads to post before Lost comes back on at Jan 31st Thursdays at 9 pm only on ABC sorry and I had just made this gif:
to dominate ROY4L with because hes been talking about about the security cameras at Yale and about people coming to kill him and he is always telling me what to do like post that gif and oh your threads are cool and all but you should change to writing fictional stories you want to impress fanfare dont you and then he uses his novice level Others mindgame tricks by telling me that I wont do that because its his idea lmao nice Richard Alpert reverse reverse reverse psychology you novice well guess what uhhh I sucked your dad dick lmao
uh oh time for a new paragraph grab your fucking balls and tits guys and gals this shits getting intense
ok this is how I imagine this marks/ROY4L fight going down irl: we open with ROY4L in a darkened Yale lab everything is black other than his white lab coat but underneath it is pitch black and the only light highlighting his coat is also being reflected off his evil looking glasses its from his computer monitor and we pan around from his almost unseeable smirk to his reign of troll terror over this forum like a short montage of him dominating weaklings so we get the picture you know him making troll bait threads and posting his artfag pics and ytmnds and then we see him posting this threat daring someone to come and kill him and then this guy called marks replies and ROY4L daring him to kill him and mocking him and he is totally humiliated and everyone on the forum is laughing at marks hahaha marks is all talk hahhaha if you want to arrange a meetup PM vitafin hahahaha marks you pathetic sack of shit and then we pull back from the forums to see them on markses computer in his tiny little shack in his backwater town imagine the start of Deliverance that is where he lives there is even banjo music and he looks like one of the gay rapists from Deliverance with the red checked shirt and the like jeans with straps and shit and he is missing teeth and looks really unwashed well he looks obviously upset like he has been trolled into oblivion so he storms through to his hunting room which is covered in dead carcases of squirrels and deer and shit and his dog runs up wagging its dogknot as he is packing up his hunting machete and his hunting sniper riffle and he pats his dog and he gets in his piece of shit car and drives off and then cut to ROY4L walking out of his lab just out of shot like we dont see him clearly just the tail of his lab coat like we havnt seen him yet and he walks down a long clinically white looking but unclean and slightly dilapidated hallway passing this asian guy with no shoes on crouching on his chair and pan up to a security camera making this electronic buzzing noise and then pan down from the camera thats actually a different camera now to the like entrance desk or whatever at Yale and its marks who walks in from parking his piece of shit car in the car park and hes asking to see Dr. Wood or whatever and the person behind the desk slightly awkwardly tells him where his lab is but we dont hear them say it theres been no dialog yet just written words on the forums so marks looks up at the annoyingly buzzing camera and ponders what him being there being recorded means but disregards it because hes stupid and he walks off and we pan up to the security camera buzzing and zoom into it and like follow the electrical wiring to the security monitoring room with all these TVs and its really dark in and theres a darkened figure watching marks walking through Yale and we zoom into one of the TVs and see marks walking along the same looking creepy hallway and the music builds dramatically as he walks into this room but its not ROY4Ls lab it is another lab like this shit hole and theres windows in front of marks with two work stations covered with test tubes with loads of pots and equipment and bunsen burner and basins filled with multi colored liquids in the middle and tables lining the walls with dumb shit and charts on the walls and like these weird sciency looking things like some box with loads of weird plants growing out of sciency looking bottles in stuff that look like those things you put babies in when theyre born retarded and against the windows is this big telescope looking thing but what really catches marks eye is that on the left side of the room the wall is covered with little cages containing dozens of CATS and they are all purring and it really freaks marks out he hates cats and its really unnerving this room is for animal experimentation on these cats he would kill them all but hes there for a specific target he locks the door and walks over to the windows and opens one and pulls over a desk and swipes all the papers off of it and sets up his sniper hunting riffle and hes staring over at the building across from him through his scope and he is trying to find ROY4L in his lab but all he can see is some asian guy with no shoes crouching in his chair and theres this really annoying buzzing noise he recognizes it from the security cameras its just above his right shoulder its really unnerving when hes staring through his scope trying to find his target and then he feels something under the desk he must have covered up when he moved it so just to be safe he steps back and points his riffle down and pokes it and its... an inactive security camera just laying there with the wiring torn out and screws missing from it like its been torn off the wall... but whats that sound so marks looks up curiously to see OH SHIT ITS ROY4L CROUCHING ONTOP OF A CUPBOARD STARING DOWN AT MARKS PERFECTLY REPLICATING THAT REPETITIVE ELECTRIC BUZZING NOISE FROM THE CAMERA HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIT this is the first time we see ROY4L clearly and he is wearing his white lab coat and his bitch black artfag polyester turtle neck he looks dementedly calm glaring down at marks with his eyes piercing his ROY4L took his classes off or something and hes just sitting there hes been inches from his hunter the whole time just watching him waiting for him to realize hes there and hes also pretty hot and looks like a supermodel so marks is like shiiit and he raises his riffle but ROY4L dives at him and tackles him to the ground and holds the rifle against marks throat and its clicking wildly like guns do and marks kicks ROY4L off of him and ROY4L doesnt fly back he just stands up perfectly and marks brings up his riffle and pulls the trigger with it pointed straight at ROY4Ls face but all he gets is an empty sounding click and ROY4L puts out his hand holding a riffle bullet so marks cocks his gun or whatever you call it when you pull the lever thing back on a riffle to load another bullet and pulls the trigger again but its just that empty click and ROY4L puts out his another hand holding markses magazine for his riffle holy fucking shit he unloaded his gun when he tackled him and the music switches from like scary dramatic to like frantic artfag drum music like in ROY4Ls youtube vids and ROY4L walks forward dropping his stolen bullets that go scattering across the floor and marks springs up and swings his riffle but at ROY4L but he grabs the gun effortlessly in one hand and snaps it in half holy fucking shit and the useless shards of riffle scatter across the lap floor so marks draws his machete and swings it at ROY4L who weaves out the way behind marks who swings again but ROY4L grabs his wrist and tosses him over this work station table top spreading lab equipment all over the place and braking this bunsen burner pipe thing spewing gas in the air and marks lands on his side with an ugh and ROY4L walks around the desk ignoring the hissing gas noise and reaches down for marks but he rolls out the way and springs up and swings down at ROY4L who moves out the way and the machete inbeds itself in the desk and ROY4L grabs marks by his throat and tosses him again over another work station but this time he bounces off a corner and when he rolls onto his back ROY4Ls standing over him and picks him up by his throat and effortlessly holds him up and walks forward and slams marks against the wall of cat cages that start to hiss as ROY4L rattles marks against their cages and he gives marks a little smirk as he sees how agitated he is and mark punches ROY4L right in the face and ROY4L just looks slightly perplexed like its new data to analyze and returns his full attention back to marks who knees him in the gut and braces a foot against ROY4L and kicks him back but ROY4L doesnt even need to stop his backward momentum he just sort of sways backwards standing in place and marks staggers over to the windows and hes cornered against this wall of cat cages and one of them this ginger looking red cat sticks a paw out and scratches his ear and marks gets pissed and he grabs this basin filled with pinkish liquid from a table with danger labels on it he didnt bother reading and goes to toss it in ROY4Ls direction but ROY4Ls right infront of him and puts a hand up to block the basin and tosses it away and it sprays all over marks and the ginger red cat behind him and marks closes his eyes and dives to the side and ROY4L casually withdraws a paintbrush from his pocket and dabs it in a dish of some clear liquid and marks opens his eyes just in time to see this but hes disorientated from this stench that covers him but he cant quite place it and ROY4L flicks his paintbrush at marks and it slashes him with acid oh fuck it burns him and ROY4L walks forward as marks is still on the ground and hes trying to crawl backwards as ROY4L keeps flicking this paintbrush coated in acid at marks and its slapping his face with burns and ROY4L is walking in time with marks crawling until his paintbrush begins to dry so he throws it at marks and it hits him in the eye searing pain through his skull and ROY4L bends down and rips open markses shirt and reaches up to get his paint palette thingy and places it against markes chest and its covered in multicolored acidic paints that scold marks who grits his teeth seems irritated he didnt get a better reaction so he picks marks up and throws him into the glass box of deranged plants and fumes escape as marks smashes into it and brakes all the bottles and shit and ROY4L walks over to him at a casual pace and marks looks up at this cat that starts sniffing the air and purring rapidly goddamn it that pisses marks off even more so he grabs one of these jars of plant fluid and hurls it at ROY4L staining his artfag turtleneck and even worse his lab coat so he carefully off the white coat and places it on a work surface as marks fucking tackles him and ROY4L looks slightly annoyed as he weaves around markes arms flailing at him but hes still walking backwards as marks continues to throw his upper body at him and marks grabs his machete from the work surface and swings it at ROY4L who snatches up his paint palette and blocks marks blade and marks stabs it at ROY4Ls face but ROY4Ls holds his artfag tool inplace as the machete goes right through it and marks withdraws it and throws it at ROY4L who ducks out of the way of this flying blade which buries itself into a wall behind him and ROY4L looks vexed that marks got him to move to such an extent and ROY4L grabs him by the throat yet again and carries the struggling redneck over to that weird telescope thing to the side of the wall of cat cages that start hissing and as ROY4L holds down marks to this table with one hand on his neck and with his other hand readies this intimidating looking equipment and marks looks over as ROY4L turns some knobs and flicks switches and this motorized whizzing rotates this thing in place so that its pointing down at him and ROY4L looks down almost hungrily at marks and pushes a button and this thing emits a beam of fucking bright red laser holy fucking shit and its burning into this metal table and it automatically starts sawing its way towards marks face and its screeching along the surface of the table and marks is being held in place as this fucking red laser makes its short journey to his head and he looks up at ROY4L hes completely over him now he cant get his legs up or anything hes being bent entirely back over this table and both his hands are clasped around ROY4Ls one hand around his neck oh fuck and marks sees his machete in the wall and grabs it and tries to stab it up at ROY4L but he grabs his wrist with his free hand so that the blade is just out of reach of his face and starts to crush markses wrist oh fuck he cant let go of this blade but ROY4L squeezes his neck and the world starts to go as black as royals artfag turtle neck and the blackness is almost leaking out of ROY4Ls hair that appears almost tentacle like to markses simple oxygen deprived brain and then hes blind and all he can hear is the approaching laser approaching his ear its screeching towards his face inches now and he cant hear a thing hes deaf and all he can feel is this laser sawing through his ear and he cant even feel that anymore and he cant even taste his own blood soaked mouth thats it hes dying hes dead theres nothing of him left but wait he can still smell and theres whats that oh god its stinks its the most strange scent ever but it its like its he cant quite place it and then his power of feeling returns as the laser starts slowly burning the side of his head FUCK FUCK FUCK its its fucking catnip and petrol what the fuck is he hallucinating or something wait wait no that was what was in the basin that splashed over him and the catnip was in those jars he threw at royal and then the taste of blood rushes back into his mouth as his skulls is being split by this fucking laser and he can feel every milisecond of its agony and he feels ROY4Ls hand against his throat and he can feel the machete clutched in his limp hand and he can hear goddamn it those fucking cats those goddamn fucking cats what the fuck one of them GODDAMN IT ONE OF THEMS FUCKING MEOWING AAAAAAAAAHHHH MARKS FUCKING HATES CATS AND THEN HE CAN SEE AGAIN AND ITS FUCKING ROYAL GLARING DOWN AT HIM SMIRKING HIS ARTFAG FACE OFF AAAAAHHHHH FUCKING ARTFAG PRETENTIONS FUCKIGNI GNER EDNOR FGSA;HNSR;RSGHASRFASRGAIO marks eyes blaze open and look over at the laser almost blinding him its like half a fucking inch away from his eyes almost sawed through his skull holy shit hes gonna die well guess what fuck you laser and fuck you ROY4L and especially fuck those goddamn cats he cant even swing his only advantage he can barley even move his hand under ROY4Ls grip but maybe he can yes he'll try that he dangles the machete down towards his face and ROYAL things this is some feeble attempt to end his own life quicker but no marks positions the blade so that it slides down the side of his head and meets the laser beam makings its way towards his brain and it HOLY FUCK THIS LASER IS REFLECTED OFF MARKS BLADE AND BOUNCES AT ROYALS FACE but it flys over his shoulder and ROYAL fucking rages and swipes the laser equipment off the table and barks down at marks with the first line of this gay story "Ha. I dominate weakling swines like you for fun. You pathetic sloth oaf. You missed." and marks says in a stereotypically souther accent "oh no I didnt you pretentious cityboy" and ROYAL looks puzzled for the first time and is doing all the speed of light calculations in his head and looks behind him to see the scorch marks the laser left and he follows its straight trail along the window and along the wall and... across the cat cages and its left a light upwards angle cat thats hit a few cats that are missing ears and limbs until he finishes following at one cage which the laser had burnt its latch off thats meant to be connected to a lever that opens the cages and inside that particular cage is that very cute redheaded cat and looks rather damp and it curiously stares down at the corner of its cage that has for some reason been ignited by the laser ROYAL cant quite work out whats happening but his firm grip on marks remains and this ginger redhead cat sticks out a tentative paw to try and push open its unlocked cage door but just as its little hand slides under it brushes against the small amount of flames and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS FUCKING CAT BURSTS INTO FLAMES HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE CAT MARKS WAS STANDING BEHIND THAT GOT SLASHED WITH THAT BASIN OF PETROL OR SOME FLAMMABLE SHIT AND THIS CAT IS LIKE MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW AND FUCKING DIVES OUT OF THE CAGE ITS DOOR SPRAWLING AWAY AND IT LEAPS AT ROY4L FLAMING MIDAIR ITS EYES DEMENTED AND ROY4L CATCHES IT WITH BOTH HANDS AND HES LIKE "NOVICE LEVEL FELINE" AS THIS CAT BURNS IN HIS HANDS AND OH SHIIIT THE FLAMES ARE STARTING TO CATCH ONTO HIS TURTLE NECK AND THEIR TRAVELING UP HIS SLEEVES AND THIS CAT OH FUCK ITS TRYING TO GET TO THE CATNIP ON HIS TURTLE NECK AND ITS FREAKING OUT AND ROY4LS LIKE "HA! I DOMINATE WEAKLINGS LI-" AND MARKS IS LIKE DOMINATE THIS AND HE REACHES OVER AND SWINGS HIS MACHETE DOWN AND SLASHES THIS BIG LATCH AT THE SIDE OF ALL THESE CAT CAGES AND ALL THESE FUCKING CATS BURST OUT OF THEIR UNLOCKED CAGE AND LEAP TOWARDS ROY4L AND THEY FUCKING SWARM HIM AND HE STAGGERS BACKWARDS AND HE STARTS SWATTING AT THE ONES JUMPING UP AT HIM AND MARKS JUST STANDS THERE WATCHING AS ROY4L SCREAMS "WEAKLINGS WEAKLIIIIINGS GET OFF YOU WEAKLING SWINES I I I I DOMINATE I DOMINATE WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU ON THE INTERNET EVERY GODDAMN DAY OF MY LIFE AAAAHHHH WEAAAAAAAAAKLIIIIIIINGS" AND ALL THESE CATS ARE ATTACKING HIM AND HE FALLS BACKWARDS OVER SOME OF THEM AT HIS LEGS AND LANDS IN THIS TABLE AND THE CAT ON FIRE IN HIS HANDS LEAPS AT HIS CHEST AND STARTS BITING FURIOUSLY AT HIS THE NECK OF TURTLENECK GNAWING AWAY AT HIS CATNIP COVERED THROAT AND HIS ENTIRE TURTLENECK BURSTS INTO FUCKING FLAMES AND ALL THESE CATS COVER HIM AND THEY BURST INTO FUCKING FLAMES AND MARKS IS LIKE "HOW DO YOU LIKE NEDM NOW ARTFAG?" AND ROY4L IS LIKE "WEAKLING SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE" AND CHARGES MARKS A MESS OF CATS AND FIRE BUT HE TRIPS OVER ONE AND GOES SMASHING INTO THE WORK STATION WITH THE LEAKING GAS LINE AND HES LIKE "DOMI-" AND IN SLOW MO MARKS LEAPS TO THE SIDE AND JUMPS THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THIS YALE LAB AS THE ROOM EXPLODES IN A FURY OF FIRE AND CATS AND MARKS IS LEAPING OUT THE WINDOW AS FIREBALLS AND CAT BODY PARTS COME FLAMING OUT AFTER HIM
AND HIM AND THIS DEBRIS FLY PAST THE CAMERA AND OUT OF THE FLAMES COMES THE MARKS: THE MOVIE LOGO holy fucking shit and then cut to marks who has landed on his piece of shit hillbilly car and hes cracked the windscreen and he thinks oh goddamn it my piece of shit car and hes like ow and holds the side of his head thats been burnt by the laser and its still leaking blood from the line in his skull and he rolls over and looks up at the smoldering hole in the side of this yale building and theres fire pouring out and the howling of cats is dying down as they themselves die down from their burn injuries and out from this smoking hole bursts OH SHIT ITS ROY4L AND ITS STILL SCREAMING ABOUT WEAKLINGS AND HES STILL ON FUCKING FIRE COVERED IN DEAD CATS AND HE COMES HURTLING DOWN SCREAMING "WEAAAAAAAKLIIIIIII-" AND MARKS ROLLS OFF OF HIS PIECE OF SHIT CAR AND DIVES OUT THE WAY AS ROY4L COMES CRASHING INTO IT AND IT IMMEDIATELY EXPLODES IN A MASSIVE FIREBALL AS MARKS JUMPS OUT OF THE WAY and the opening credits roll as in super slow motion fire flys past and chunks of shitty car fly past and sections of dead cats fly past and the last thing that flys past is a shard of ROY4Ls head and then zoom in on his still smirking eye and cut to black and the rest of the movie is a serious drama about how bad markses life is and its about his shitty lifestyle and him snorting cocaine and fucking fat girls he picks up at bars and hunting squirrels and his only friend is his dog who only hangs out with him for food and he hates everyone and lives alone in this shitty shack and fucking fat chicks just makes him more depressed and his lifes a fucking joke he has a shitty job no education and that goes on for about three hours of this movie and the last scene is him being really depressed and you think hes going to kill himself but he doesnt he gets on his computer and goes on the internet and looks up cool nedm pix and he goes on the forums and everyone likes him and is loves the gross images he posts and laugh at his jokes about the scabs on his dick and he flirts with iwascruel and everyone on the forum is like we love you marks you are so cool and he smiles to himself as he posts and the last shot of the movie is of one of my posts saying "so marks you ever heard of this show called Lost?"
so this bad thread started life as a reply to this ROY4L thread: I dare you to kill me in real life. because I saw that marks was like arranging a ytmnsfighttothedeath but ROY4L told him that hes all talk and fucking dominated him well I was thinking this is something I'd write in a gay book about some faggot daring someone to kill him on a forum and then there being a big epic fight scene with loads of action so I was like hmm imagine if marks was going to attack ROY4L lmao and I started writing this gay shit and two hours later it was like 20000 characters of pure shit so I thought hmm what can I do with this so I thought well I made that epic christmas thread two weeks ago and I only have a few ideas of threads to post before Lost comes back on at Jan 31st Thursdays at 9 pm only on ABC sorry and I had just made this gif:
to dominate ROY4L with because hes been talking about about the security cameras at Yale and about people coming to kill him and he is always telling me what to do like post that gif and oh your threads are cool and all but you should change to writing fictional stories you want to impress fanfare dont you and then he uses his novice level Others mindgame tricks by telling me that I wont do that because its his idea lmao nice Richard Alpert reverse reverse reverse psychology you novice well guess what uhhh I sucked your dad dick lmao
uh oh time for a new paragraph grab your fucking balls and tits guys and gals this shits getting intense
ok this is how I imagine this marks/ROY4L fight going down irl: we open with ROY4L in a darkened Yale lab everything is black other than his white lab coat but underneath it is pitch black and the only light highlighting his coat is also being reflected off his evil looking glasses its from his computer monitor and we pan around from his almost unseeable smirk to his reign of troll terror over this forum like a short montage of him dominating weaklings so we get the picture you know him making troll bait threads and posting his artfag pics and ytmnds and then we see him posting this threat daring someone to come and kill him and then this guy called marks replies and ROY4L daring him to kill him and mocking him and he is totally humiliated and everyone on the forum is laughing at marks hahaha marks is all talk hahhaha if you want to arrange a meetup PM vitafin hahahaha marks you pathetic sack of shit and then we pull back from the forums to see them on markses computer in his tiny little shack in his backwater town imagine the start of Deliverance that is where he lives there is even banjo music and he looks like one of the gay rapists from Deliverance with the red checked shirt and the like jeans with straps and shit and he is missing teeth and looks really unwashed well he looks obviously upset like he has been trolled into oblivion so he storms through to his hunting room which is covered in dead carcases of squirrels and deer and shit and his dog runs up wagging its dogknot as he is packing up his hunting machete and his hunting sniper riffle and he pats his dog and he gets in his piece of shit car and drives off and then cut to ROY4L walking out of his lab just out of shot like we dont see him clearly just the tail of his lab coat like we havnt seen him yet and he walks down a long clinically white looking but unclean and slightly dilapidated hallway passing this asian guy with no shoes on crouching on his chair and pan up to a security camera making this electronic buzzing noise and then pan down from the camera thats actually a different camera now to the like entrance desk or whatever at Yale and its marks who walks in from parking his piece of shit car in the car park and hes asking to see Dr. Wood or whatever and the person behind the desk slightly awkwardly tells him where his lab is but we dont hear them say it theres been no dialog yet just written words on the forums so marks looks up at the annoyingly buzzing camera and ponders what him being there being recorded means but disregards it because hes stupid and he walks off and we pan up to the security camera buzzing and zoom into it and like follow the electrical wiring to the security monitoring room with all these TVs and its really dark in and theres a darkened figure watching marks walking through Yale and we zoom into one of the TVs and see marks walking along the same looking creepy hallway and the music builds dramatically as he walks into this room but its not ROY4Ls lab it is another lab like this shit hole and theres windows in front of marks with two work stations covered with test tubes with loads of pots and equipment and bunsen burner and basins filled with multi colored liquids in the middle and tables lining the walls with dumb shit and charts on the walls and like these weird sciency looking things like some box with loads of weird plants growing out of sciency looking bottles in stuff that look like those things you put babies in when theyre born retarded and against the windows is this big telescope looking thing but what really catches marks eye is that on the left side of the room the wall is covered with little cages containing dozens of CATS and they are all purring and it really freaks marks out he hates cats and its really unnerving this room is for animal experimentation on these cats he would kill them all but hes there for a specific target he locks the door and walks over to the windows and opens one and pulls over a desk and swipes all the papers off of it and sets up his sniper hunting riffle and hes staring over at the building across from him through his scope and he is trying to find ROY4L in his lab but all he can see is some asian guy with no shoes crouching in his chair and theres this really annoying buzzing noise he recognizes it from the security cameras its just above his right shoulder its really unnerving when hes staring through his scope trying to find his target and then he feels something under the desk he must have covered up when he moved it so just to be safe he steps back and points his riffle down and pokes it and its... an inactive security camera just laying there with the wiring torn out and screws missing from it like its been torn off the wall... but whats that sound so marks looks up curiously to see OH SHIT ITS ROY4L CROUCHING ONTOP OF A CUPBOARD STARING DOWN AT MARKS PERFECTLY REPLICATING THAT REPETITIVE ELECTRIC BUZZING NOISE FROM THE CAMERA HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIT this is the first time we see ROY4L clearly and he is wearing his white lab coat and his bitch black artfag polyester turtle neck he looks dementedly calm glaring down at marks with his eyes piercing his ROY4L took his classes off or something and hes just sitting there hes been inches from his hunter the whole time just watching him waiting for him to realize hes there and hes also pretty hot and looks like a supermodel so marks is like shiiit and he raises his riffle but ROY4L dives at him and tackles him to the ground and holds the rifle against marks throat and its clicking wildly like guns do and marks kicks ROY4L off of him and ROY4L doesnt fly back he just stands up perfectly and marks brings up his riffle and pulls the trigger with it pointed straight at ROY4Ls face but all he gets is an empty sounding click and ROY4L puts out his hand holding a riffle bullet so marks cocks his gun or whatever you call it when you pull the lever thing back on a riffle to load another bullet and pulls the trigger again but its just that empty click and ROY4L puts out his another hand holding markses magazine for his riffle holy fucking shit he unloaded his gun when he tackled him and the music switches from like scary dramatic to like frantic artfag drum music like in ROY4Ls youtube vids and ROY4L walks forward dropping his stolen bullets that go scattering across the floor and marks springs up and swings his riffle but at ROY4L but he grabs the gun effortlessly in one hand and snaps it in half holy fucking shit and the useless shards of riffle scatter across the lap floor so marks draws his machete and swings it at ROY4L who weaves out the way behind marks who swings again but ROY4L grabs his wrist and tosses him over this work station table top spreading lab equipment all over the place and braking this bunsen burner pipe thing spewing gas in the air and marks lands on his side with an ugh and ROY4L walks around the desk ignoring the hissing gas noise and reaches down for marks but he rolls out the way and springs up and swings down at ROY4L who moves out the way and the machete inbeds itself in the desk and ROY4L grabs marks by his throat and tosses him again over another work station but this time he bounces off a corner and when he rolls onto his back ROY4Ls standing over him and picks him up by his throat and effortlessly holds him up and walks forward and slams marks against the wall of cat cages that start to hiss as ROY4L rattles marks against their cages and he gives marks a little smirk as he sees how agitated he is and mark punches ROY4L right in the face and ROY4L just looks slightly perplexed like its new data to analyze and returns his full attention back to marks who knees him in the gut and braces a foot against ROY4L and kicks him back but ROY4L doesnt even need to stop his backward momentum he just sort of sways backwards standing in place and marks staggers over to the windows and hes cornered against this wall of cat cages and one of them this ginger looking red cat sticks a paw out and scratches his ear and marks gets pissed and he grabs this basin filled with pinkish liquid from a table with danger labels on it he didnt bother reading and goes to toss it in ROY4Ls direction but ROY4Ls right infront of him and puts a hand up to block the basin and tosses it away and it sprays all over marks and the ginger red cat behind him and marks closes his eyes and dives to the side and ROY4L casually withdraws a paintbrush from his pocket and dabs it in a dish of some clear liquid and marks opens his eyes just in time to see this but hes disorientated from this stench that covers him but he cant quite place it and ROY4L flicks his paintbrush at marks and it slashes him with acid oh fuck it burns him and ROY4L walks forward as marks is still on the ground and hes trying to crawl backwards as ROY4L keeps flicking this paintbrush coated in acid at marks and its slapping his face with burns and ROY4L is walking in time with marks crawling until his paintbrush begins to dry so he throws it at marks and it hits him in the eye searing pain through his skull and ROY4L bends down and rips open markses shirt and reaches up to get his paint palette thingy and places it against markes chest and its covered in multicolored acidic paints that scold marks who grits his teeth seems irritated he didnt get a better reaction so he picks marks up and throws him into the glass box of deranged plants and fumes escape as marks smashes into it and brakes all the bottles and shit and ROY4L walks over to him at a casual pace and marks looks up at this cat that starts sniffing the air and purring rapidly goddamn it that pisses marks off even more so he grabs one of these jars of plant fluid and hurls it at ROY4L staining his artfag turtleneck and even worse his lab coat so he carefully off the white coat and places it on a work surface as marks fucking tackles him and ROY4L looks slightly annoyed as he weaves around markes arms flailing at him but hes still walking backwards as marks continues to throw his upper body at him and marks grabs his machete from the work surface and swings it at ROY4L who snatches up his paint palette and blocks marks blade and marks stabs it at ROY4Ls face but ROY4Ls holds his artfag tool inplace as the machete goes right through it and marks withdraws it and throws it at ROY4L who ducks out of the way of this flying blade which buries itself into a wall behind him and ROY4L looks vexed that marks got him to move to such an extent and ROY4L grabs him by the throat yet again and carries the struggling redneck over to that weird telescope thing to the side of the wall of cat cages that start hissing and as ROY4L holds down marks to this table with one hand on his neck and with his other hand readies this intimidating looking equipment and marks looks over as ROY4L turns some knobs and flicks switches and this motorized whizzing rotates this thing in place so that its pointing down at him and ROY4L looks down almost hungrily at marks and pushes a button and this thing emits a beam of fucking bright red laser holy fucking shit and its burning into this metal table and it automatically starts sawing its way towards marks face and its screeching along the surface of the table and marks is being held in place as this fucking red laser makes its short journey to his head and he looks up at ROY4L hes completely over him now he cant get his legs up or anything hes being bent entirely back over this table and both his hands are clasped around ROY4Ls one hand around his neck oh fuck and marks sees his machete in the wall and grabs it and tries to stab it up at ROY4L but he grabs his wrist with his free hand so that the blade is just out of reach of his face and starts to crush markses wrist oh fuck he cant let go of this blade but ROY4L squeezes his neck and the world starts to go as black as royals artfag turtle neck and the blackness is almost leaking out of ROY4Ls hair that appears almost tentacle like to markses simple oxygen deprived brain and then hes blind and all he can hear is the approaching laser approaching his ear its screeching towards his face inches now and he cant hear a thing hes deaf and all he can feel is this laser sawing through his ear and he cant even feel that anymore and he cant even taste his own blood soaked mouth thats it hes dying hes dead theres nothing of him left but wait he can still smell and theres whats that oh god its stinks its the most strange scent ever but it its like its he cant quite place it and then his power of feeling returns as the laser starts slowly burning the side of his head FUCK FUCK FUCK its its fucking catnip and petrol what the fuck is he hallucinating or something wait wait no that was what was in the basin that splashed over him and the catnip was in those jars he threw at royal and then the taste of blood rushes back into his mouth as his skulls is being split by this fucking laser and he can feel every milisecond of its agony and he feels ROY4Ls hand against his throat and he can feel the machete clutched in his limp hand and he can hear goddamn it those fucking cats those goddamn fucking cats what the fuck one of them GODDAMN IT ONE OF THEMS FUCKING MEOWING AAAAAAAAAHHHH MARKS FUCKING HATES CATS AND THEN HE CAN SEE AGAIN AND ITS FUCKING ROYAL GLARING DOWN AT HIM SMIRKING HIS ARTFAG FACE OFF AAAAAHHHHH FUCKING ARTFAG PRETENTIONS FUCKIGNI GNER EDNOR FGSA;HNSR;RSGHASRFASRGAIO marks eyes blaze open and look over at the laser almost blinding him its like half a fucking inch away from his eyes almost sawed through his skull holy shit hes gonna die well guess what fuck you laser and fuck you ROY4L and especially fuck those goddamn cats he cant even swing his only advantage he can barley even move his hand under ROY4Ls grip but maybe he can yes he'll try that he dangles the machete down towards his face and ROYAL things this is some feeble attempt to end his own life quicker but no marks positions the blade so that it slides down the side of his head and meets the laser beam makings its way towards his brain and it HOLY FUCK THIS LASER IS REFLECTED OFF MARKS BLADE AND BOUNCES AT ROYALS FACE but it flys over his shoulder and ROYAL fucking rages and swipes the laser equipment off the table and barks down at marks with the first line of this gay story "Ha. I dominate weakling swines like you for fun. You pathetic sloth oaf. You missed." and marks says in a stereotypically souther accent "oh no I didnt you pretentious cityboy" and ROYAL looks puzzled for the first time and is doing all the speed of light calculations in his head and looks behind him to see the scorch marks the laser left and he follows its straight trail along the window and along the wall and... across the cat cages and its left a light upwards angle cat thats hit a few cats that are missing ears and limbs until he finishes following at one cage which the laser had burnt its latch off thats meant to be connected to a lever that opens the cages and inside that particular cage is that very cute redheaded cat and looks rather damp and it curiously stares down at the corner of its cage that has for some reason been ignited by the laser ROYAL cant quite work out whats happening but his firm grip on marks remains and this ginger redhead cat sticks out a tentative paw to try and push open its unlocked cage door but just as its little hand slides under it brushes against the small amount of flames and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS FUCKING CAT BURSTS INTO FLAMES HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE CAT MARKS WAS STANDING BEHIND THAT GOT SLASHED WITH THAT BASIN OF PETROL OR SOME FLAMMABLE SHIT AND THIS CAT IS LIKE MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW AND FUCKING DIVES OUT OF THE CAGE ITS DOOR SPRAWLING AWAY AND IT LEAPS AT ROY4L FLAMING MIDAIR ITS EYES DEMENTED AND ROY4L CATCHES IT WITH BOTH HANDS AND HES LIKE "NOVICE LEVEL FELINE" AS THIS CAT BURNS IN HIS HANDS AND OH SHIIIT THE FLAMES ARE STARTING TO CATCH ONTO HIS TURTLE NECK AND THEIR TRAVELING UP HIS SLEEVES AND THIS CAT OH FUCK ITS TRYING TO GET TO THE CATNIP ON HIS TURTLE NECK AND ITS FREAKING OUT AND ROY4LS LIKE "HA! I DOMINATE WEAKLINGS LI-" AND MARKS IS LIKE DOMINATE THIS AND HE REACHES OVER AND SWINGS HIS MACHETE DOWN AND SLASHES THIS BIG LATCH AT THE SIDE OF ALL THESE CAT CAGES AND ALL THESE FUCKING CATS BURST OUT OF THEIR UNLOCKED CAGE AND LEAP TOWARDS ROY4L AND THEY FUCKING SWARM HIM AND HE STAGGERS BACKWARDS AND HE STARTS SWATTING AT THE ONES JUMPING UP AT HIM AND MARKS JUST STANDS THERE WATCHING AS ROY4L SCREAMS "WEAKLINGS WEAKLIIIIINGS GET OFF YOU WEAKLING SWINES I I I I DOMINATE I DOMINATE WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU ON THE INTERNET EVERY GODDAMN DAY OF MY LIFE AAAAHHHH WEAAAAAAAAAKLIIIIIIINGS" AND ALL THESE CATS ARE ATTACKING HIM AND HE FALLS BACKWARDS OVER SOME OF THEM AT HIS LEGS AND LANDS IN THIS TABLE AND THE CAT ON FIRE IN HIS HANDS LEAPS AT HIS CHEST AND STARTS BITING FURIOUSLY AT HIS THE NECK OF TURTLENECK GNAWING AWAY AT HIS CATNIP COVERED THROAT AND HIS ENTIRE TURTLENECK BURSTS INTO FUCKING FLAMES AND ALL THESE CATS COVER HIM AND THEY BURST INTO FUCKING FLAMES AND MARKS IS LIKE "HOW DO YOU LIKE NEDM NOW ARTFAG?" AND ROY4L IS LIKE "WEAKLING SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE" AND CHARGES MARKS A MESS OF CATS AND FIRE BUT HE TRIPS OVER ONE AND GOES SMASHING INTO THE WORK STATION WITH THE LEAKING GAS LINE AND HES LIKE "DOMI-" AND IN SLOW MO MARKS LEAPS TO THE SIDE AND JUMPS THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THIS YALE LAB AS THE ROOM EXPLODES IN A FURY OF FIRE AND CATS AND MARKS IS LEAPING OUT THE WINDOW AS FIREBALLS AND CAT BODY PARTS COME FLAMING OUT AFTER HIM
AND HIM AND THIS DEBRIS FLY PAST THE CAMERA AND OUT OF THE FLAMES COMES THE MARKS: THE MOVIE LOGO holy fucking shit and then cut to marks who has landed on his piece of shit hillbilly car and hes cracked the windscreen and he thinks oh goddamn it my piece of shit car and hes like ow and holds the side of his head thats been burnt by the laser and its still leaking blood from the line in his skull and he rolls over and looks up at the smoldering hole in the side of this yale building and theres fire pouring out and the howling of cats is dying down as they themselves die down from their burn injuries and out from this smoking hole bursts OH SHIT ITS ROY4L AND ITS STILL SCREAMING ABOUT WEAKLINGS AND HES STILL ON FUCKING FIRE COVERED IN DEAD CATS AND HE COMES HURTLING DOWN SCREAMING "WEAAAAAAAKLIIIIIII-" AND MARKS ROLLS OFF OF HIS PIECE OF SHIT CAR AND DIVES OUT THE WAY AS ROY4L COMES CRASHING INTO IT AND IT IMMEDIATELY EXPLODES IN A MASSIVE FIREBALL AS MARKS JUMPS OUT OF THE WAY and the opening credits roll as in super slow motion fire flys past and chunks of shitty car fly past and sections of dead cats fly past and the last thing that flys past is a shard of ROY4Ls head and then zoom in on his still smirking eye and cut to black and the rest of the movie is a serious drama about how bad markses life is and its about his shitty lifestyle and him snorting cocaine and fucking fat girls he picks up at bars and hunting squirrels and his only friend is his dog who only hangs out with him for food and he hates everyone and lives alone in this shitty shack and fucking fat chicks just makes him more depressed and his lifes a fucking joke he has a shitty job no education and that goes on for about three hours of this movie and the last scene is him being really depressed and you think hes going to kill himself but he doesnt he gets on his computer and goes on the internet and looks up cool nedm pix and he goes on the forums and everyone likes him and is loves the gross images he posts and laugh at his jokes about the scabs on his dick and he flirts with iwascruel and everyone on the forum is like we love you marks you are so cool and he smiles to himself as he posts and the last shot of the movie is of one of my posts saying "so marks you ever heard of this show called Lost?"