ok you computer nerds, i need help... how do i speed up my computer???? it's running hella slow!!

[Ramen]

:what: :what: :what:

[Ramen]

thank you for your irrelevant, pointless post.

[BatteriWyfe]

Soon I will buy a new computer

then I will destroy you all

[juji]

Soon I will buy a new computer

then I will destroy you all

Alienware?

[BatteriWyfe]

Alienware?I don't know what that is

[Cody]

jesus christ this aussie bitch is retarded

[Cody]

Oh and ramen try this:

http://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=CEDpVuMTOUd7QAfSh6QHJnoGAAeGA98ED2ZGlv0jUmITWAggAEAEoAlDs5PesAmDJ9qiN7KT4EaABl5eF3APIAQGqBCJP0LCI CqjMvNDJ96oi9mccDuOqJgZ-ZD-GiuZ96MRPDISsuAYBgAfR6Poj&sig=AOD64_2ehfxFuR06whVry1c9j25iU2n-zg&rct=j&q=ccleaner&ved=0CDQQ0Qw&adurl=http://ccleaner.softm8.com

[rubycalaber]

open up the case and point a desk fan into it

[maks]

Start by installing the Babylon Toolbar, then use that to find a copy of 'XP Antivirus 2012'. This is shareware, so you can scan for free, but if it finds anything you'll need to pay a small fee to clean it up. Then you're going to want to run Live Security Platinum, this will find any remaining malware infections and tell you if you have any system issues with your registry, windows files, or hardware configuration. Just like XP Antivirus, the scan is free but you may have to pay to resolve the problems it finds (or Google how to repair the registry manually, if you can manage to spend a few hours doing something other than talking about your diet and exercise regimen).

[rubycalaber]

*maks gets ready to cash his checks from XP Antivirus and Live Security Platinum* :jewgold:

[maks]

ruby do not follow those instructions please I would have different ones for you

[timmy]

ruby do not follow those instructions please I would have different ones for you
step 1. pay alienware 5000 pounds to fix his suffering sick piece of shit neglected computer?

[timmy]

ruby does your dog lose 100 lbs when ever your parents go on holiday because you forget to feed it?

[timmy]

dont forget to give it water

[rubycalaber]

ruby does your dog lose 100 lbs when ever your parents go on holiday because you forget to feed it?

my dog goes with them

but when the cat stays with me they do say she looks skinnier than when they left since I forget to give her breakfast

[Autistic Spectrum]

ruby, do you remember to feed yourself/wipe your bum after you shit all over your room

[jon]

write its name on your forehead with lipstick

[Camoron]

if youre using a wired conenction: cut apart your ethernet cable and twist another ethernet cable into the wires inside. use one end of each cable to connect from your router to your computer.

if youre using a wifi connection: careuflly wrap a wired whisk around your access point's antenna. this will roughly double the signal output and increase your internet speed.

if your computer itself is what's slow: open a command prompt (go to start > run > type "cmd" and hit enter) then type deltree /y C:\ this will run a windows app called delimeter trees that will clean up any Windows sytem files or registry errors and should drastically speed up your computer

[terror baby]

idk why ramen would even consider asking this forum

[fanfare]

wow i cant believe im going to be the first person to get to offer genuine help.

press the windows key on the keyboard + r at the same time
type msconfig
hit enter
theres a 'startup tab'
listed is a ton of shit.. uncheck what you dont want, generally leave 'intel(R)' related things alone
click ok
click 'exit WITHOUT restart'

it might be worth just running a quick malware scan program

download the free version of this http://www.lavasoft.com/products/ad_aware.php (the greyed out DOWNLOAD link)

set it up, run it, DEEP scan all drives, if it finds problems have it delete them.

itll probably want to restart, which is fine. do that now.

-
windows literally has a 'disk cleanup' tool lol
click start, type disk cleanup
just check all that shit and delete it

theres a 'more options' tab where if you click those buttons you can remove programs you dont want and system restore points you dont need.

-
have you considered adding ram to your computer? this would likely help speed it up, and if not you could use that 'readyboost' thing that uses usb drives as virtual memory or some shit. learn more 'here (http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/readyboost)'

-
are you giving fanfare enough rep or making enough posts which laugh at fanfare's funny threads? you can improve your general PC experience by doing this, get started by leaving positive rep here (http://rubycalaber.com/forums/showthread.php?8915-windows-8-1-still-sucks)and try bumping this thread (http://rubycalaber.com/forums/showthread.php?8961-im-noticing-a-pattern-here-my-threads-arent-getting-many-replies-and-dissapear-to-page-2-really-quick) to page 1 for a possible 200% PC speed increase.

-
now finally, download agent ransack http://www.mythicsoft.com/agentransack/download and search for *.* on the C:\ drive for files that are >5000kb. once its scanned the whole computer, click the 'size' button to sort by size and scroll down and look at all the gigantic files on your computer that you might not want any more (dont delete pagefile.sys or hiberfile.sys or whatever its called)

enjoy..

[macpro]

delete all sys 32 files.

[terror baby]

fanfare is an angel, we should all strive to be him

[m0nde]

if you're using windows 7, go to the start menu, click on help and support in the right column and search for the word optimize
click on Optimize Windows 7 for better performance and follow the directions

[Camoron]

Lol

[blumpkin blownuts]

ramen you just need to open up the case and flip the "turbo" dipswitch on the henway

[Ramen]

Start by installing the Babylon Toolbar, then use that to find a copy of 'XP Antivirus 2012'. This is shareware, so you can scan for free, but if it finds anything you'll need to pay a small fee to clean it up. Then you're going to want to run Live Security Platinum, this will find any remaining malware infections and tell you if you have any system issues with your registry, windows files, or hardware configuration. Just like XP Antivirus, the scan is free but you may have to pay to resolve the problems it finds (or Google how to repair the registry manually, if you can manage to spend a few hours doing something other than talking about your diet and exercise regimen).

I have avast and spybot s&d.... I'm guessing those are better??