:zero replies: mega thread part deux
I once drank a whole gallon of milk in a day and I could feel my bones expand. At first I thought I was just full from the milk, but my skin started to form stretch marks and I was visibly wider. I didn't know what was happening but I had an uncontrollable urge to drink more milk. I drove to the nearest gas station and literally ripped the door off the refrigerated section containing the milk.
I started chugging gallon after gallon of milk, standing right there in the store, my skin ripping at the seams, cream frothing and streaming from the corners of my mouth. The cashier ran over to stop me but I swatted him aside in one clean blow and he landed across the room, shattering every milk-starved bone in his pathetic body. There was nothing left of him but a wet bloody puddle deprived of structure and calcium. I never thought I had it in me to kill but by now I had ascended beyond petty mortal morality.
As I finished my eighth gallon, it felt as though my stomach would rupture. My ribs broke out of my chest like a baby xenomorph. My finger bones had grown through my hands and a white nub could be seen protruding from my nose. The mask if flesh that used to be my face was so stretched over my now massive skull, I looked like Jenny McCarthy. My biceps were larger than rootbeer's thighs. And my buttocks looked ready to twerk.
I finished my twelfth gallon and began screaming and flexing, desperately looking for a coconut to slap. My began skin tearing around my robust skeletal frame. With one final push I shed my meat chrysalis. I was free.
I didn't even use the door; I simply walked out, through the wall of the gas station. Mortar and stone yielded to my mighty calcium. SWAT was already there. In terror they began firing at me but even lead is no match for calcium fortified with vitamin D. I walked straight towards one, reached down his throat and pulled his skeleton from the flesh. With his bone I assembled a mighty sword, adorning the hilt with his skull. With a single swing I cleaved the Earth in twain and descended into the pitch depths. Here I wait til I am called into service during our final days, for the CTO wars, they near.
