beers at my house

[timmy]

be there at 7

[maks]

boobz will bring his trumpet and lisa will bring gonorrhea

will keith be there?

please put away the glassware or it could be knocked over by lisa's interfering nose

[plusle riot]

no woodies?

pulse rot

[MavisBeacon'sREVENGE]

Is this a Fat People Stories thread? 'Cuz it looks like a Fat People Stories Thread.

>be in high school
>chemistry time
>fuck yeah, gonna titrate some shit
>safety specs: on
>tie: off
>bag: under table
>safety achieved.
>let's break out the burettes
>wait, what's that smell?
>"Anthony, no eating in class. Please get out and don't come back."
>turn to look over at Ant's table
>he's got a KFC bucket in his bag
>in the middle of a chem lab
>where the fuck are his books?!
>more importantly
>we've already got the potassium dichromate out
>dammit Ant, you fat shit - don't you know that shit's carcinogenic?!
>there isn't even a KFC in this town, what are you doing?!
>turns out his dad dropped it off as a reward but he didn't manage it all at lunch
>something along the lines of not failing his Business Studies GCSE mock.

>two weeks later
>same teacher covering a physics lesson with Ant in it
>"Anthony, I've been informed by Mr Mulhern that you've been taking other people's lunches while skipping p.e. lessons"
>"No, sir, I wasn't skipping them - I have a doctor's note about my knees.."
>"Anthony, that really isn't the main problem here"
>after lesson overhear deputy head talking to Ant
>all I hear him say is
>"get your shit together, Ant."
say this to him at every blunder he makes over the next four years.



-------

> Be 12 in Elementary school years ago
> Its gym time
> To warm up Gym teacher tells us we have to run three laps around the track
> Group of fat girls tell gym teacher that they refuse
> Every time its gym time the fat girls always sit on their asses and tell the gym teacher off
> Gym teacher is real pissed and flips shit this time because he is tired of dealing with them
> He tells them to start fucking running
> they start crying and start limping slowly trying to run laps
> swear to god the earth started shaking as they began to run, thought I was going to die.
> He keeps screaming at them
> they sound like beached whales crying out in pain
> they complete 1.5 laps before we have to move on to something else because it was taking them to fucking long
> Gym class ends later that day
> they are sweating and crying and complaining about their legs hurting and blisters and shit
> next gym class there is a new gym teacher
> Wonder what happened to the old one? Nobody knew
> found out a few months later he was let go
> apparently the fat girls fat parents came to school with medical bills saying they were going to sue the school for abuse.
> Fat girls never had to run laps ever again and the new gym teacher was really careful when dealing with them.

---------

> Work at a natural health store
> Most of our stuff is complete bullcrap, like magical weightloss pills
> Only work there because it’s quite easy, pay is above average and I get free whey
> Be at work
> Fat fuck walks in
> Asks for magnesium salts
> ” I gotta get rid of all this water in my body”
> The fat fuck is pointing at her enormously large legs and stomach
> “full of water, see ?”
> Tell her about healthy diet and excersise
> Completely disregards everything I say, claims that it’s just water stored into her body
> “I’ll be back next week, then you’ll see!”
> tfw this was 2 weeks ago.

[maks]

why is it that whatshisface from the front page got banned and mavis didn't? this one is way worse

[plusle riot]

pulse rot

Is this a Fat People Stories thread? 'Cuz it looks like a Fat People Stories Thread.

fatlining

no clue why pilleater was banned, he could have been manipulated into raging out a few times like leopardgecko
i was hoping for that

this mavis beacon guy is obviously an advanced level faggot. i'm not messing with them.

[maks]

ytmnsfbarry's kitchen

[maks]

this mavis beacon guy is obviously an advanced level faggot. i'm not messing with them.

afraid to get your hands dirty?

it's already in play

[maks]

if that's true I'm pretty underwhelmed tbh

[plusle riot]

is mavis a front page fag because he just looks like some newfag posting shitty le meme arrow stories from /b/

maybe it's cody's new alt :/

[maks]

is mavis a front page fag because he just looks like some newfag posting shitty le meme arrow stories from /b/

best I can figure yes but he hasn't come clean yet

[plusle riot]

maybe it's cody's new alt :/

you could very well be right, he's so obsessed with rep he'd go to any lengths just to garner it himself seeing as marks' occasional rep just doesn't cut it anymore. he has a prolben

[maks]

that would explain how mavis has green rep despite being liked by no one

dunno

[plusle riot]

that would explain how mavis has green rep despite being liked by no one

this

[timmy]

boobz lives in sydney now right?
hes welcome to come and hang out with my friends at my place as long as he doesnt bring internet bullshit with him

[timmy]

or bring his trumpet

[timmy]

boobz ill show you how tasty i can make diced meat

boobz lives in sydney now right?
hes welcome to come and hang out with my friends at my place as long as he doesnt bring internet bullshit with him

i think he's genuinely scared of meeting people from the internet

[maks]

why would you invite boobz over and tell him to leave his trumpet at home?

[timmy]

welll there was that one time he asked me to meet him at leichardt plaza and he ended up bailing on it... who asks to meet someone and bails on their own plan...

[timmy]

why would you invite boobz over and tell him to leave his trumpet at home?

my friends would laugh at it

[maks]

of course they would that's exactly why he should bring it. they'll laugh and he'll play a solo that brings then to tears and they all become trumpet fans then he drains his spitvalve out behind the hen house

he could give them coupons for the box sets on sale at his music store to win them over