so how was your new years eve? mine was p good, just... LOST MY VIRGINITY (PIX INSIDE)

[rubycalaber]

why yes, that is my penis going into a hot babes vagina let me explain how this came to be in flashback

trollinator has been very worried recently that I'm getting attacked on the forums a lot, and I tried to explain to her that it's just because everyone hates the guy in charge, just look at obama whos never done anything wrong but people threaten to kill him all the time for some reason, and maybe also because I made those horrible dayz threads, but I've been catching a lot of shit for my sexuality in general, like barry questioning my virility, camoron getting jealous of my big loads, lisa calling me a virgin and rosewest calling me a homo, well it all ends tonight, now that even rooty has lost his v-card I'm not going to be left behind, after almost 6 years with her I'VE FINALLY FUCKED TROLLINATOR and this thread is the proof, no need to thank me rooty, lisa can post your dick pix whenever she likes and it wont matter, because everyone will be too busy staring at my massive tadger, and yes it is massive, here is proof


and before any of you needledicked fuckbois start my balls are just in the way pressed up against the whiteboard (or dry wipe marker erase board or whatever dumbass americans call it) as you can clearly see the scale is zeroed in (I know all about zeroing thanks to DayZ) on the base of my penis where it meets my pelvis, so I'll know if anyone criticizes my amazing fat dick it's just because you're jealous of my foreskin, why don't you drop some redpills on these clappers trollinator

Circumcision in human males reduces penile sensitivity by 75%. Circumcised men are 453% more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. 42% of circumcised men experience premature ejaculation.

85.72% of women prefer uncut penises due to circumcised penises causing painful friction within the vagina and being unable to retain lubricating fluids as effectively as uncircumcised penises. With circumcised partners, surveyed women were more likely to feel disinterested, frustrated and discontented. When their partners were not circumcised, women were more likely to feel intimate with their partners, relaxed, warmth, mutual satisfaction and "complete as a woman" and the greater sexual satisfaction benefited the relationship.

Circumcision rates in America have dropped by 58% in the last 3 decades. 55% of circumcisions result in medical complications. 20% of circumcisions result in a painful narrowing of the urethra called meatal stenosis. 117 Americans die from being circumcised every year. Anesthesia is only used in 45% of circumcisions. The most commonly used anesthesia provides very little pain relief, causing the central neural processing of painful stimuli to be altered and permanently lower the human's pain threshold. There is a 90% chance of the operation resulting in negative behavioral changes such as insomnia, an inability to comfort oneself or receive comfort from others and symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder due to the procedure causing irreversible brain damage when the infant goes into traumatic shock.

It will become a very common torture technique in the machine controlled future to inflict a submissive mentality on humans captive in the work camps.


anyway I've been trying to get with trollinator for a while now, I've kissed her once or twice when she was comforting me when marks told everyone the forums were going to get shut down, and even though she didnt put out when they actually did get shut down I thought maybe she'd put out when we thought judgment day was last year, so I asked her how... functional she was and, well, why don't you explain yourself trollinator its not for me to tell people these private matters

My original living tissue vagina, cloned from actress Summer Glau's, was removed to allow me to bring equipment placed within my pelvis through the Time Displacement Device, which only allows for organic matter to pass through its event horizon and travel in time.


which is where my mysterious birthday present comes into play which you might remember from this thread where I posted my birthday haul last year I think the best guess as to what was inside it was barry saying nothing since that is the kind of half assed thing I'd do but no now you will finally learn WHAT WAS IN THE BOX?! WHATS IN THE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWKS?! WHATS IN THE FUCKING BOX?!!! well I was thinking where do you get an upgrade for a killer robot from the future in the present well robotics is getting pretty advanced so I might as well try looking on the glorious internet so I googled "cyborg pussy" and found that there are actually some for sale from a lovely website called fleshlight.com so I ordered one (they are pretty expensive since they are cutting edge robotics technology, but what with me being A MILLIONAIR£ it doesnt really matter) (funny side story my dad was reading my credit card bill and he asked me what ILF was (stands for Interactive Life Forms (see, they are a cyborg parts manufacturer)) and I told him it was hosting company I used I should have just told him the truth and he'd probably just be glad I was finally getting some action) and told trollinator to stand guard for it to be delivered this was really nerve wracking before I realized you could follow your package with UPS tracking since I wasnt sure when it would come before then but when it eventually arrived trollinator did a quick scan of the delivery van and here is a screencap from her H.U.D.

shit, why the fuck's there a zionist insignia on this van? has max goldberg sent a jewish assassin after me, perhaps a ninjew, after realizing rubynet is better than ytmnsfw was? what if the driver is actually the troll-1000 in disguise and its here to kill me? luckily I have trollinator to project me and she took the package from this guy and he didnt seem surprised to be handing it over to a chick so I guess he didnt know what was inside it which is cool if you are one of those poor people who have the capacity for shame and we were gonna do this last year but what can I say I wasn't ready for this yet but I've done a let of self work and come to understand myself better in the last year so I think I'm finally ready, here's whats inside the mystery box (fuck you JJ abrams)

ITS A CYBORG PUSSY alright lets see what we have here hehehehOH GOD WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I DIDNT ORDER A DILDO I MEAN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT I DEFINITELY DIDNT


It appears to be some sort of blunt trauma weapon. Perhaps for sexual assault?


right, well, I'm not gay or anything, so I didn't put it up my ass, but... well... it comes with these three vibrators that go in little pounches along the side of it and they feel fucking amazing let's be absolutely frank for a minute here guys now I don't mean to boast or anything I know not everyone has a robot girlfriend from the future but seriously human vaginas dont have a built-in vibration feature unless you're fucking a chick with parkinsons I guess anyway I guess Mr. Plinkett was right after all fleshlights really do have batteries

(thats um thats my hand not trollinators I like growing my nails long so I can pretend a girl is jerking me off when I'm masturbating but well lets just say I wont have to do that any more heheheh) you can also use them to stimulate your junk by themselves and when I was fooling about with trollinator I may have like massaged my anal rim with it and maybe penetrated myself with it and it felt really good but then it slipped inside and I was like damn that feels good because it was stimulating my prostate or whatever and I figured I'd just stay at the entrance and started fucking my girl again and after a while I thought, where's the vibrator? and I looked around on the bed and couldnt see it and then I realized OH GOD ITS GONE RIGHT UP MY BOWELS and I frantically rammed my fingers up my arsehole but it was in so deep that I couldnt reach so I had to like concentrate really hard on the inside of my bowels and do a shitting motion to get it out, its really disconcerting to be that aware of a part of your body so deep inside you, but when I managed to fish it out it surprisingly had zero fecal matter on it since I guess a diet of only mac and cheese gives you solid shits that stick together or something but what it did have on it was this completely clear seminal fluid without any sperm cells in it I guess because its directly leaking out of my prostate or some shit, I have actually ejaculated this after keeping going after I've already ejaculated normally once and just this pure watery stuff that STINKS of cum came out when I came a second time, I also instantly lost my erection since my adrenalin went through the roof as ideas of being retard #4895903895 to have to go to the ER because they got something stuck up their bum flashed through my head (funny story: I read a story on Vice.com about how emergency room doctors see some crazy shit and one story was about a kid who rammed a curtain rod up his arsehole and got the end of it stuck up there and he had to get his mum to take him to the ER and when they were getting the surgeon they were like do you know what a finial is and he was like uh yeah actually I watch those home makeover shows all the time why and they're like a kids got one up his arse and then the next day I was driving to the movies with my dad and this store was advertising that it had finials and he was like what is that and I was like oh I know what that is from reading a story about a boy getting one stuck up his arse lmao, epic finial tbh) although it did leave a nice tingly feeling inside my ass, not that I'm gay or anything, anyway, you're a meant to put it in warm water to get it to the right temperature or some shit first but trollinator has a built in thermostat and it came with a packet of lube (that says on the packet put it in the pussy and then use as you normally would during intercourse lmao what do you mean normally during intercourse) but she can generate bodily fluids like tears too so she can handle all that shit herself, there's also literally a pressure valve in the back so she can regulate how tight her pussy is holy shit

anyway I used the non-reflective operator combat knife trollinator carries with her everywhere to cut open her cortch and attach this shit to her endoskeleton, it was pretty gory click here to see a pic of how her knife ended up but I wouldnt recomend it pretty gross oh and also I BOUGHT SOME CONDOMS since yaknow I was just doing what I thought you were meant to do when you lose your virginity and I guess this sets a good example because I dont want anyone on this forum fucking breeding so h-here I go the moment I lost my virginity

HOLY FUCK TROLLINATOR IS TIGHT

but then I pulled out and... well.... I BROKE HER HYMEN

I DIDNT KNOW THESE THINGS WERE SO REALISTIC!!!!

thankfully I researched how to give good cunnilingus after creepy-chan talked about enjoying it on reddit so I just licked her clean and I think she enjoyed it heh, let me just point out that I've literally just provided photographic evidence of me making a pussy wet

now anyway let me just say CONDOMS ARE LITERALLY CIRCUMCISION SIMULATORS THAT KEEP YOUR FORESKIN PERFECTLY IN PLACE AND IT FEELS GAY thank fucking god my girlfriend is a robot so I cant get STDs from her or get her pregnant because fuck those things, now I know that feel whenever anyone talks about having to use a condom, but hopefully for all the horribly mutilated guys on this forum it doesnt feel that different since you dont know what sexual pleasure actually feels like so you'll still use them and never reproduce, anyway this is where the real action started

OH MY UCGUFFU FUCKING GOD WHAT IS THIS WH-WHAT AAAAAAAAA, SEE THIS IS WHY YOU USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!

now I know I can suck my own dick and everything but now I have a goergous fembot to do it for me and after sucking it clean she confirmed it was not poison put in there by my many enemies but was just her vaginal fluids I guess she just turned that setting up too high or something, maybe she has a virus, hopefully you cant get a computer virus on your dick from fucking a robot girl

now I'm not a weird sex pervert or anything but yes I did film myself losing my virginity, maybe I will release the full tape one day, we fucked for 6 hours straight so it'll take some editing, but heres some gifsof the hightlights

here's another screencap from trollinator's H.U.D., pretty weird seeing it from her pov I am glad I'm not a girl this looks a bit scary, also yes I did cut my pubes for this what of it

she seemed a bit disconnected at first but when I really started pumping away she started to respond, let me tell you something: sex is fucking hard, it's exhausting, you feel like you're going to faint from being so turned on and your blood pressure going up and your heart rate going up and all that shit trollinators scanning on me and if you're on top thrusting away is hard fucking work since you have to hold at juuuust the right position and juuuust the right angle for it to work

and no one of my balls isnt bigger than the other fuck off, its mid-fuck, of course they'll get unaligned, not that you losers would know how a REAL man fucks, here is an extremely rare picture of me and trollinator fucking, yes I edited matthew foxes face over mine so I couldnt get doxed but the rest is real

I read somewhere that girls like it when you pull out and thrust all the way back in, this is however a lot harder than it sounds because you basically need aimbot turned on irl to get your dick in without fiddling about with your hand for a bit, maybe thats just me since I literally have a huge dick with a weird dogknot in it and yes I wear socks while I have sex what of it?

outrageously rare gif of me pleasuring trollinator with my big uncut cock

I think I did good since she seemed disappointed when I pulled out

but it was for good reason, ya see unlike every human woman whos not being paid for it, [GLOW=black]TROLLINATOR LET ME CUM ON HER FACE[/GLOW]

it was pretty much the sexiest shit ever and after I licked it clean off of her I noticed trollinator had leaked more of her weird thick girlcum on the bed, actually shit, maybe its her period or something, and she bleeds white blood like the androids from Aliens?

lemme tell you something else about sex, you can very easily lose yourself and end up wrecking the room you're in, I wish I'd taken a pic because there was just like tissue papers and condom wrappers and fleshlight packaging and vibrators and knives and blood and cum and my one table lamp that lights my room pulling an power strip and all it was attached to half way across the room and clothes scattered everywhere and it was just crazy it looked like someone got gang raped in there, but heres the most notable thing, never thought I'd find a used condom with hymen blood on it in my bedroom but there ya go

and afterwards I actually ate her out to orgasm and then we fucked again since I have no refractory period and can keep going if I want usually when I jerk off its one and done but if I'm really horny or now with my lovely robot gf I can stay hard and cum again without being too sensitive it just takes a while to cum again so I think this went pretty well I made a better porno than the majority of mainstream porn by not showing the actors face lmao who wants to see that only gaybois and it had those gritty elements you only get in amatuer porn like yeah there's some bleeding sometimes when a vagina gets fucked for the first time and sometimes you start with a condom and take it off and sometimes weird fluids end up on your dick and you're not too sure what it is and sometimes you get vibrators stuck up your asshole and panic and you're probably not both going to orgasm at the same time but if you really trust each other you can get up to some pretty crazy stuff so I guess I learnt that sex is a fun adventure to do with someone you love and if you communicate and stay safe you'll have a great time I mean I've been feeling euphoric (*tips fedora*) all day and feeling like a big baller and I just like swaggered into the kitchen and cracked an epic joke with every sentence when talking to my family not giving a fuck if they could smell the sweat cum and blood on me I feel ontop of the world but goddamn do my thighs hurt lmao that is the most exercise I've done in a decade but yeah 2013 has rocked for me I'd go so far as to say it's been the best year of my life which isnt that dramatic since the first half of my life was normalfag stress and then the second half has been sitting at my computer every day but I feel like I've matured a lot as a person this year and gained more self-knowledge than most people do in their entire lives and this year has had so much shit I enjoyed like my second favorite tv show Breaking Bad went out on top, one of my favorite video games ever GTA5 came out that I released some epic raps for, I got a new computer that has had no problems so far, even if they killed my forum rep I had fun making my DayZ threads, I co-starred with teknorat in the funniest podcast series ever, I played a bunch of fun games with stevey, I listened to a lot of cool music with my internet girlfriend desolation, I saw a lot of fun movies with my family, I've had minimum rustling running the forum and to top it all off now I'm no longer a virgin loser now some closing words maybe some of you might try to troll me you know give me a little jimmy rustling about having posted my cock on a gay nigger dick forum fucking a fleshlight let me just remind you of some objective scientific facts ok this applies to anyone I don't care how many disgusting meatbag girls you've fucked with their gross organic vaginas that you probably got pregnant and got STDs from just keep in mind that [GLOW=black]EVERY NIGHT I'M LITERALLY BALLS DEEP IN VACUUM SEALED FOREVER YOUNG AND SLIPPERY WET WARM INFERTILE AND STERILE PERMANENTLY VICE TIGHT VIBRATING CYBORG PUSSY[/GLOW] just let that sink in for a bit while I go sink my dick back into trollinator

[juji]

[www.whatthefuck.com]

ruby youve got some pretty gross fingernails bro i call bullshit on gay no faggot would have nails like that

[juji]

fucking ban cody, I'm reading this thread right now

[www.whatthefuck.com]

ruby confirmed for ginger

[Tahiti Joe]

those fuking nails. you fuking Scotish Vampire.

[www.whatthefuck.com]

ruby youve got some pretty gross fingernails bro i call bullshit on gay no faggot would have nails like that

[steveyos]

in case y'all missed it I was mentioned



let's get 2k14 off to a good start!

[rubycalaber]

ruby youve got some pretty gross fingernails bro i call bullshit on gay no faggot would have nails like that

sorry to drop my gimmick but I am actually straight in real life and love having sex with girls

Notice that he doesn't know how to put on a condom and literally put it on over the top of his foreskin.

hey, it was my first time ;)

rubys dick looks like a rocket pop

Anyways can we just shut down the forum now this is more disturbing than those times boobz posted child porn

[rubycalaber]

your penis is looking up at the screen like "maybe.... maybe one day I'll be that big..."

[Chronic Munchies]

OMG ruby

LMAO

what have you done?

There's no going back now ruby.

yeah if we dick docked I guess I'd have to dock with yours

He has a small tip though so prob not

[Chronic Munchies]

this is so hot

[rose west]

When Ruby's penis fully develops to maturity I might consider giving him his 45 seconds of pleasure....only because I love him.

everyone itt has a gross dick,
also ruby stay a virgin bro women will eat your soul

what the fuck just happened

[rose west]

what the fuck just happened

[steveyos YOLO]

just shut down the forum now

[Chronic Munchies]

"After the Anne Frank thing I thought they were bad people but after this I know they are both just retarded" - Rootbeer.

"Like I'm positive they are retarded." - Rootbeer.

lol

[steveyos]

what the fuck just happened

ruby thought this would make up for the lizards

[Desolation]

2014 - we aren't subtle

[rubycalaber]

When Ruby's penis fully develops to maturity I might consider giving him his 45 seconds of pleasure....only because I love him.

hmm rose west not calling me a homo, mission accomplished

everyone itt has a gross dick,
also ruby stay a virgin bro women will eat your soul

thanks for the advice but thats not a very nice thing to say about lisa m8

"After the Anne Frank thing I thought they were bad people but after this I know they are both just retarded" - Rootbeer.

"Like I'm positive they are retarded." - Rootbeer.

lol

I think soooooomeooooooones a little jealous of my huge uncut juicy cock

also anne frank was asking for it

[Chronic Munchies]

*clears throat* AHEM

Ruby...

1. You're a fucking retard.

2. You have a fucking ugly cock, it's even uglier than cody's cock.

3. You are still a fucking virgin retard and no-one will fuck you.

4. Die.

5. Delete ufotard you pathetic, moronic piece of shit.

You are a loser.

[juji]

*clears throat* AHEM

Ruby...

1. You're a fucking retard.

2. You have a fucking ugly cock, it's even uglier than cody's cock.

3. You are still a fucking virgin retard and no-one will fuck you.

4. Die.

5. Delete ufotard you pathetic, moronic piece of shit.

You are a loser.

old news

[rubycalaber]

*clears throat* AHEM

Ruby...

1. You're a fucking retard.

2. You have a fucking ugly cock, it's even uglier than cody's cock.

3. You are still a fucking virgin retard and no-one will fuck you.

4. Die.

5. Delete ufotard you pathetic, moronic piece of shit.

You are a loser.

Why are you so angry? Does Ruby's penis remind you of your babysitters?

old news

Surprised you heard it.

[Chronic Munchies]

old news

;)

<3

[Chronic Munchies]

Why are you so angry? Does Ruby's penis remind you of your babysitters?



Surprised you heard it.

Nah I just hate you because you're a fucking moron with a fucking ugly cock and frankly I've just always been a lot nicer to you than you deserve so shut the fuck and delete ufotard you disgusting retard and then fuck off and die.

Dickhead.

[rubycalaber]

Nah I just hate you because you're a fucking moron with a fucking ugly cock and frankly I've just always been a lot nicer to you than you deserve so shut the fuck and delete ufotard you disgusting retard and then fuck off and die.

Dickhead.

That is quite a change in tone compared to your previous posts in this thread.

Did you become aroused from Ruby's impressive manhood, but Rootbeer failed to satisfy you sexually with his underwhelming equipment, so now you are frustrated?