Originally Posted by
Fhtagnyatta
Mom was leaving for a 10 hour shift, I was babysitting her kids as usual, and we were going to the park.
Before I left I recorded a video of her and the kids saying they knew me and I was a friend, because I fully expected something like this to happen someday. The problem is I really didn't expect it to be that day.
Went to the local condo complex park, there were maybe 4 families and us there. Me and 3 girls 10,8, and 5 shot some hoops (with our volleyball) and pretended to be dinosaurs, then I was tired and sat down on a bench.
about 3 minutes later 2 officers approach me and one approaches the girls playing maybe 40 feet away from me.
I can't hear what they're saying to the girls but the other two officers start asking me questions, who I am, where I lived (I literally pointed at my front door) why I was with them, etc...
All the time arms crossed and pissed off.
Behind them is a harpy screeching at another officer by a parked cruiser.
The officers ask for my cellphone and like an idiot I gave it to them because this happened in a period of like 5 seconds and I was kind of disoriented.
One officer pockets it, the other is asking me questions about their mother, what she looks like, what her phone number is.
Well the oldest has a phone, but she didn't bring it because, again, we can literally see our front yard from here, and mom's 'phone number' is 'mom' in the contact list with a bunch of strange numbers underneath it...
I explain about the video in the phone, and the one officer pulls it back out but doesn't open it.
He said "We're waiting for the Brightbox".
I said all he needed to do was watch it and we can all go about our day.
He just stares at me.
My cell has a ruggedized rubber case because, why not, and the cop starts picking at it.
I realized they meant a cell dumper or the like. They were going to search my phone.
Fine, the most incriminating thing on it was a recipe for garlic vodka.
And moments later, he levers off the rubber sock.
The thing is, my phone has no back for heat dissipation. The rubber sock is what I used to hold the battery in.
It fell out.
And me being the smartass I was said "Well, now anything in memory is gone..."
He picks up the battery flips it over, tries to put it in, and flips it over again, and finally inserting it.
He inspects the inside of the boot and the phone and then puts it back together but doesn't turn it on.
Then he glares at me, basically already judging me as a criminal pedophile.
He says "Sometimes phones have triggers like not opening a specific program or using an invisible pattern that tells it to wipe the phone. We don't want that happening now."
I say: "So you're going to search my phone? Don't I have to be arrested first?"
And he looks flatly at me and says "Do you want to be?"
So we waited 3 hours for the 'box' to arrive, and they plugged a USB cable into my phone, booted it up. Unplugged the USB because they didn't understand what a debug screen was, and then proceeded to 'dump' my phone.
Then spent two hours looking through everything.
All the time the afternoon is burning away, the girls are playing with a cop around in another part of the playground, and I'm on a bench getting sunburned and blistered.
Finally they found the video of their mom, gave me back my phone, and told me I could go.
Never once apologized, or gave me the benefit of the doubt, and even got the stinkeye from the harpy the next week when I basically did the same thing. Thankfully this time she didn't call the cops.
The Aristocrats!
