GTA IV Cops 'n Crooks Rap: To ProGame And Serve Ownage - CODYS SENTENCING SPECIAL EDITION
USER CODY
YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF THE E-CRIMES OF ABUSE OF MODERATOR POWERS, MISUSE OF THE SPAM-O-MATIC, TWO COUNTS OF ATTEMPTED TROLLING OF AN ADMINISTRATOR, ONE COUNT OF CONSPIRACY TO ABET IN CYBER STALKING, SIXTY NINE COUNTS OF UNLAWFUL ACCOUNT DELETION, DISTURBING THE FORUM PEACE, DOMESTIC INTERNET TERRORISM, UNIRONIC RACISM, WIFE BEATING, HOUSE PAINTING AND FIVE THOUSAND AND TWELVE COUNTS OF MAKING UNFUNNY POSTS
YOU HAVE BEEN TRIED BY THE POSTING PUBLIC
YOUR SENTENCE...
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[GLOW=black]DELETION.[/GLOW]
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now that thats out the way enjoy my next froking epic rap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCBBgMcAoJE
Lyrics For The Hearing Impaired
if you're a wop, you best avoid this psycho cop, I'm killing until I reach the top, I cant stop!
my guns go pop pop pop, I'm watchin mothafuckas drop
even if you beg me to stop, I will not
HQ wont bother calling SWAT, I already ate you alive like Killer Croc
you jack off into a sock, while you wear a frock, and remembering sucking your dads cock
for some reason the super-glock, beats any gun with a stock
so when I get it I don't even need auto-lock, you cant fight without your aimbot
I'll chase after your granny mobile ingot, drift through a parking lot
crashing through shit like Nicolas Cage in The Rock
and cap you from down the block, while I blast electro-choch
or maybe I'll camp by the dock, crouch down so you'll never see my dot
sometimes the game cant tell when you squat, so I might still get caught
but you'll still never deduce my camping spot, cus you don't know shit about video games like Jessica Chobot
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its bitch raping time: 5 o'clock, I hope you like your lead served hot
you'll be fiddling to sit in your yatch, and then BOOM! HEADSHOT!
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we know all the cheeky tricks, you'll think we're hacking the fucking matrix
when we kill your entire criminal organization like in The Punisher comics
on children you transfix, you've molested more than a church full of Catholics
you'll pray to God when you see our pro gamer antics, but even He cant overcome our expert tactics
and don't even try to blame it on the outdated graphics, haven't you heard? gotta love the classics =p
I've killed more annoying little kids than Anders Breivik, I've killed more crooks than Niko Bellic
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I can blow up two cars with a few shots like Patrick, and I'm coming to roll on you like Rick
the way I drive through on-coming traffic, it's fucking magic
I put the shoulder button to the plastic, you suck at driving you're a fucking spastic
goddamn my skills are so sick, I'm so slick
the bitches love it when I talk dirty in gallic, when your mom heard it made her shlick :shlick:
you get turned on by anything phallic, you just gotta give it a lick :dong:
cus your dad kept you locked up in the attic, where he made you suck his dick, every day he took a new child porn pic
you're death wont be tragic, it'll actually be pretty slapstick
when you see me coming you'll panic, you'd know how to escape if you weren't so thick
let me show you a pro gamer trick, when you're piloting the Maverick
fly it straight at that boss prick, push forward on the left analog stick
then give the R2 trigger a little click, to give the boss a nice little flick
with your rotter blades to finish him off nice and quick
that's what you get for trying to have fun a video game you stupid spic :rubyrage:
you suck at every kind of game including FPS, you're a poor POS
I know all your finances like the IRS, you beg for money like PBS, and molest more kids than CPS
I don't really know what those things are because thank god I'm not from the US
there aren't any niggers or wetbacks here so Scotland wins again like FJS
as soon as Tek gives me GPS, I'll get to you faster than UPS
this box of kick-ass was sent express, all I need is an address
awww he thinks he can get away bless, get real your score couldn't get any less
I don't give a fuck what kind of car you possess, even if you've worked out how to get the Sultan RS
you wont make any kind of progress, I'll own you in one button press
there isn't a gaming situation I can't accurately assess, I out-gun you every time with amazing finesse
everyone knows you're a gay pedo but none the less, I'll torture you until you confess
sometimes this game can be a big ol bunch of bullshit, that's the only reason I ever get hit
you die because you're a stupid git, you tried to get armor and got stuck in the Barry pit
:barrypit:
your throat I shall slit, I'll blast you into orbit
I'll snipe you from 400 yards away like Matt Damon in True Grit
all the bitches love this pro gamer Brit, I cyber with deso while she's in Intro to Lit
her legs I make her split, for me a sweater she has knit
meanwhile you're so fat and unfit, you're unfunny like an SNL skit
when I'm a copper, I just go straight to the booth tunnel chopper
some might say that's improper, well tough shit I'm a pro punk popper, a deadly div dropper, the top wop stopper
you're a gay teeny bopper, a bunny hopper, a pennyless pauper, an avid buttplug shopper
go stuff your face with a burger keng whopper, you fatass spaghetti dropper!
the GPS is telling me where to go just like ARIIA, but I don't give a fuck just like Daria
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I'm causing pile ups, makin the NPCs spill their cofee cups
got them going nuts, taking all the pro shortcuts
coming to shoot your team in their guts, finish them off with gunbutts
I'm ready for a little tussle, racing for you in my american muscle
smashing through Liberty City's hustle, and bustle
my only mission is to give your jimmies a rustle, if you're a feathery give your feathers a ruffle
your sexuality aint a puzzle, when you havnt given a blowjob in a day you cause a kerfuffle
I got something for you to suck my fucking guns muzzle
we dont even have to have a scuffle, you'd love to make your voice muffle, like you're giving my ballbag a nuzzle
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but I'm not gay I just want to leave your self esteem in rubble, so come on fat boy do the truffle shuffle!
you think you're safe in that crowd of pedestrians you a shmuck? you're a sitting duck
I'll crash through all those people in a fire truck, I don't give a fuck!
you fucking suck! you shoulda just stayed in the car like Chuck!
I scare you so much you piss your bed sheets
I fucking run these streets, no one even notices you like Heroes repeats
I'll drive up blasting fat beats, kill you while you're fiddling to change seats
it's like your playing musical chairs, you wont survive being in my crosshairs
you don't even know how to jump quickly up stairs, you're whole team are squares, yet your skills suck even worse than theirs
you'll beg for some better players, but no one here on Earth cares
and even if he could hear you over your raged out swears, God won't answer your prayers
because He hates you for being bi-curious, He'll ask you why are you furious?
why are you downcast? when you think you've got me at last, and then I go racing past
killing your entire crew with one grenade blast, even God will be like damn that kid's fast! :sonic:
I'm a proud Scottish lad, let me tell you how I'm clad, I wear a kilt made of plaid
but at least I didnt fellate a guy named Chad, you also swallowed might I add, christ your life is sad
I'll assassinate you like Mossad, blow you up like I'm fighting the Jihad
you'll get so mad, you'll smash your game pad, I'll cause the biggest hissy fit you've ever had!
when I'm driving into on-coming traffic like I've gone mad, I'll be screaming I'll kill you all like teknorat's dad!!!
then smash through crowds of NPCs going down the promenade, and after you have been gouranga'd
I'll get out my car to cap your mate like Walt from Breaking Bad!
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I am the one who knocks! you are the one who sucks cocks, because your dad abused you worse than John Locke's
I'm so secure in my sexuality I dont mind getting out my bollocks
around other men like Matthew Fox, when he goes skinny dipping with the lads down at the docks
as soon as tek gives me some spec ops, amma murder you and get away with it like Amanda Knox
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I'm gonna drop you like Microsoft's stocks, after they revealed the new Xbox
but not before I push your shit in bro big time like Ethan Hawke's
cus you're game plans always fall apart like Israel and Palestine talks
you always crash boats onto rocks, your character always walks, when I tried to explain you just hold down X it caused a flummox
if you ever won no one would even believe it like the Red Sox
girls avoid you like the small pox, when you message them on facebook all you get is blocks
please just start the game before everyone realizes what a retard you are
that you're on par, with that alien nigger Jar Jar
you may be a 10 star, but how did you get that far, without realizing you dont really need to kick that 1 star?
you'll get caught by the cops fiddling in a boat like Jahar
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cus I'm racing up priming a grenade in my mums car, about to suicide bomb you while screaming ALLAH AKBAR! :jihad:
next time you go to the gay bar, the boys will be like what is that a scar?
listen up you stupid Yank, I'm going to rape you in the back of a car like Hilary Swank
I kill spics like Hank, I go on city wide rampages like Chev Chelois from Crank
I kill hundreds of criminals in one night like Frank, I shoot so fast you'll think I can pause time like Clank
your team doesn't understand how to flank, I'll put a bullet straight in your car's gas tank
it'll blow up forcing you to plank, then I'll casually walk up and blast you point blank
you only have yourself to thank, for how small your score has shrank, now look at my ever rising rank
your favorite bar is the sperm bank, you love watching men wank
it makes you give your own monkey a spank, when you got home your butthole stank
I'll murder you live on the internet like in Halloween: Resurrection, I'll kill you after a epic car chase like in The French Connection
zooming down the road going the wrong direction, causing a pile up on at intersection
oh whats that? I give rim jobs to perfection? I'm terrified of rejection? little boys give me an erection?
:objection: that's a classic case of projection! :projecting:
it doesn't matter what kind of transport, you get for your escort
your escape plans I shall thwart, n00b pwnage is Scotland's biggest export
I hunt humans for sport, people are scared to say my name like Voldemort
I'll jam my ricer import, between two fences to teleport, and murder you as you fiddle on the heliport
here's a pro-tip, when you see my radar blip
take the long trip, even if the NPCs gonna give you jip
cus if I catch you I'll dump a clip, make your car flip
while I make a quip, if you're a jap it'll be about how you're a nip
if you're a nig it'll be about how I just cracked a whip
then I'll make you strip, yeah nigga undo that zip
give your asshole a rip, make your anal blood drip
throw you in the sea make you skinny dip, maybe you can still swim to your escape ship
I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, but also to rape your bum, too bad that shit just makes you cum
like your dad did after too much rum, when he'd rape you and your mum
you all live in a slum, maybe that's why you're always so glum
we only play All for One, never One for All you dumb dumb
it doesn't matter if you run, even if hold X until it hurts your thumb
even if you're behind a nice little fence made of adimantuim, you'll still get hit & run
cus you're a poser who doesn't know shit about games like Olivia Munn
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you're the kind of sub-human scum, who teamkills your own boss for grabbing your favorite gun
you can't talk to girls you're like ummm, but when you see naked men it makes you yummm
this entire city I can get across, so fast you wont even have picked up your boss
you take so long to get to the exit your car gathers moss, I even have time to go eat some mac and cheese sauce
and no I will not floss, I dont give a toss, you're gaming skills are dross, I'm as pro as CheYeah is at lacrosse
some claim I have a lisp like Johnathon Woss, but the bitches still love me like Joss
we'll give your car a little push, smash you into a nice little bush
tell everyone you love cocks up the tush, while we smoke that rhode island kush :smoke:
I despise your entire race, your culture I wish I could erase
now lets have an epic car chase, before you have to drink another nigger semen vase
your team are all dregs, its time to take you guys down a few pegs
I'll kneecap you so your character screams AH MY FUCKIN LEGS, before I scramble your brains like Keamy's eggs
I just took out an entire mafia battalion, I pull up in my undamaged Stallion
rocking a sonichu medallion :sonichu: to kill you you obese old italian
I know all the hacker intel, I know how you got into the bathroom of that cluckin bell
you glitched in through from blue hell, but it wont stop me from taking out all your personnel
I win every time like the God Troll™ Steven Yelle, you die every time like my only hispanic waifu Michelle
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I don't give a shit if you're an aimbot user, or a glitch abuser
the handling is a fucking joke on the Police Cruiser, but I'll still catch you in it you fucking loser
you pretend to be pro but you're a phoney, you're gayer than Tony, you're a brony, I run this gaming shit just like Sony!
here's some wisdom, never use the cover system, unless you wanna become another victim, just try and get a boat on a nice little swim
but we'll still chase after your escape boat like in Face/Off, and while tek kills your mates with his Kalashnikov
I'll pull up beside you and toss in a molotov, are you a jew then mazel tov! :holocaust:
some serious kick-assery is about to transpire, just save me the time and jump on your own funeral pyre
it doesn't matter what aimbots you aquire, or who's your wallhack supplier, or how many hackers you conspire, to hire
you will never have what you require, you should just retire
stop claiming you're pro you fucking liar, you're fucking talentless like Stephanie Meyer
meanwhile I'm the pro gamer all the bitches desire, I even cybered camorons gf who is a vampire
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my score you gotta admire, my rank cant get any higher
may I enquirer, how you're not going to expire, when I pop your tire, using the SMG in burst fire?
criminals are scared of me like Omar from The Wire, when they scream I'm coming it makes you perspire
worse than when the priest touched you up when you were in the choir, cus you're just a wannabe crook just like Danny Dyer :kermode:
we've got the skills your team lacks, we get dem fat stacks
we'll kill you like a packet of anthrax, while you're hammering triangle to get in your jetmax
you let your team down by being really shit like Knack, they always have to pick up the slack
if anyone in the game is black, they're always like yo dawg you wack
you never tick ready because you're too busy having a snack, that involves sucking on your dads ballsack
sometimes if your mouth has too much plaque, he gives you a tic tac, if you use teeth he gives you a smack
all I snack on is mac, I'm my team's star playing like Shaq, you're boss I'm gonna whack, leave on his face a tire track
I'll sneak up on you even when you use your wallhack, while you're fiddling to carjack, a hatchback
get so close I can give you a gunbutt thwack, the last thing you'll hear is my shotgun rack
even if you've strapped on the flak, you'll still cry like cag having an anxiety attack, as soon as you hear dat click clack
you'll be calling for a time-out like Zack, but it's my mission to kill you like Barrack :duh: so I gotta let dat ting ting crack
and make you scream like Jack, when he was all Kate we have to go back! :beard:
gonna set your tires on fire like Ghost Rider, crash into you head on like particles in the Large Hadron Collider
smash you into that road divider, blow so much shit up the game slows down like it was directed by Zack Shnieder :blowup:
you just got t-boned, you just got fucking owned
my skills are so finely honed, in Afghanistan your lot get stoned
even if you have full health, I'll get you with my expert stealth, thanks for increasing my wealth
your teammates will find you dead in your car seat slouched, you shoulda just hid and crouched
through a crowd, I plowed, so you'd get run-over, by my range rover
our mission is extralegal, gonna kick your ass like some shit from Steven Seagal
gonna smoke you with my desert eagle, gonna tell everyone you sucked off a beagle
you're a nigger dick stroker, a pole smoker, a prostate poker
I know every single backstreet of Broker, I'm heading to bomb your boat like the Joker
I'm a cop so I just have to yell STOP RESISTING :cop: and I can get away with stopping you from existing
I hope you enjoy anal fisting, with lots of twisting!
I'm gonna blow up your car like Walt Jr.'s Dodge Challenger, and massacre, you and your passenger
I make you piss yourself so much you should just get a catheter, you'll always be a bachelor, you couldn't even get a job as a janitor
you're clinically obese and it aint glandular, you're a fucking amateur, you just got owned by rubycalaber!
I make you cry more, than the last time your mom beat you because she heard you swore
you don't even know how to jump over fences extra fast with parkour, and I'm already rolling up pumping Liberty City Hardcore
I bring the thunder like motherfucking Thor, I take out your whole team with my 12 bore, thanks for boosting my score
as soon as you hear my shottie roar, you'll be desperately searching for armor
even if your health you manage to restore, I'll still blast through that vest you wore
and if you try to get the chopper to fly to the other shore, I'll just wait for you to fiddle to open the door
and crash my cop car into it like in fucking die hard 4!
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