Virginia Woolf's final piece of writing

“Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.”

Sara Teasdale 18 years before her suicide

"I Shall Not Care
WHEN I am dead and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain-drenched hair,
Tho' you should lean above me broken-hearted,
I shall not care.
I shall have peace, as leafy trees are peaceful
When rain bends down the bough,
And I shall be more silent and cold-hearted
Than you are now."

I'm just going to do this for a while

Oooo! A suicide note machine... For those in too much of a hurry to write their own.....

http://www.porkjerky.com/free/suicide.php

Email Letter
Link To Letter

March 11, 2014
Dear Fellow Pawns;

Since November 1st, 1993 I have lived a lie that I can no longer go on with. I have started each of the last 7435 days by convincing myself that McDonald's would bring back the Double ZestaBurger--if only for a limited time and at only select locations. It was the only way I could get myself out of bed and through the day.

Alas, I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 738 limited times in the last 20 years has never given my well-being a second thought.

Well, congratulations, you win. McDonald's 1, Lisa 0. You have killed my will, spirit and soul; now my body will follow.

Luckily, I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of fry cooks in cheap suits. While my body will be buried in the same ground where Ray Kroc's is surely spinning; my soul will be with his in heaven. Not here in purgatory controlled by the whims of MBA's from Hamburger U.

Together Ray and I will forever feast on that delicious ambrosia, the Double Zesta Burger.

Sincerely,

Lisa

P.S. I superglued all my orifices shut so you coroner pricks can't steal my fillings or sex up my corpse.

Phew! What a time saver.

Email Letter
Link To Letter

March 11, 2014
Dear World,

I am not some psychotic fuck or pathetic loser trying to end my miserable, piece of shit existence. Nor am I one of these pussies using suicide as a cry for help. I am not protesting anything, not mad at the world, not drunk and playing with my gun, and I am not any of the other stupid reasons people kill themselves. I have a good reason.

I just snorted not 1, but 2 lines of coke off of not 2, but 3 hookers' chests. Then we all 4 made sweet beautiful love. The kind of sweet beautiful love they sing rap songs about and outlaw in southern states. Then we washed, rinsed and repeated until we were all dehydrated. Life is good.

So, tonight I kill myself as king of the world. Literally, things cannot get better. I have reached the pinnacle of life, and not just my life, but the zenith of existence itself. Bliss, Nirvana, Utopia. I am at the top of the mountain pissing down on the rest of you. Unfortunately, the days ahead of me will never be as good as tonight. So I have nothing to look forward to.

It is truly the best night that could and will ever be, which is why my life must end tonight. Life can now only get worse. Nothing is left for me here in this world. I already won. Every seemingly joyous moment from here forward would be compared to tonight and fall miserably short. So, I'm going out on top, high as hell, feeling good, and my seed spread in and among three beautiful women.

It was good to be me.

Lisa

P.S. Just to be sure, could you check my pulse again?

Wtf

Oh these will just not do

Alright I'll end on that note.