generic ruby cracked wisdom tooth review thread - 9/11 special edition
for the last 10 years straight I've posted a thread on 9/11 but this year when I sat down to post a thread (actually a marriage gift for jon and cag staigh toont the 2 lizards who still post here for something I'll never be get around to posting) I started experiencing the worst fucking pain of my life from what I'd later learn was one of my wisdom teeth splitting open and exposing the nerve inside which felt like having a knife put between my gum and tooth and then hammered in over and over again for a day straight
[glow=red]WARNING SLIGHT GORE OF REMOVED TOOTH[/glow]
[glow=red]WARNING EXTREME GORE OF TOOTH WITH HUGE HOLE IN IT SHOWING THE ROOT INSIDE[/glow]
please note: they took it out in one piece, it didnt break up being taken out, that was what it was like in my mouth for an entire day
apparently it came in wonky and cracked from growing in against the other tooth and eventually just gave I guess I swallowed it in my sleep or something because I haven't found the missing bit anywhere that or the jews detonated the demolition charge they had in the microchip they put in my tooth because they couldnt handle another 9/11 ruby megathread now let me take you back to where it all started *flashback sound effect* :lost: I think eating cocopops in the morning is what set it off since the food was LITERALLY touching the raw nerve it was aching a bit when I woke up but that realy made it go ballistic and throughout the day whenever I tried to eat or drink something or just brush it with my tongue or even BREATHE too hard and have air brush past it it would go mental at the time I didnt know what had happened I shined a flashlight in my mouth in the mirror and it just looked like a little chip was missing like an almost perfect square was missing from looking in at the front I couldnt tell that like literally the entire back 50% of it was missing so I thought maybe it would go away after a while and when I told my mum she told me that since this is a sunday private dentists are closed (as if god will heal my tooth on a sunday instead, fuck off christfags) and she gave me some like childrens headache medicine called calpol (cal/pol/ to keep the jews away) and my dad came down and said I could take some paracetamol in pill form but my mum said I already took some calpol and my dad does this smug thing he does where he just smirks and walks away and I was in too much pain for this autism so I literally pointed at him and said YOU, GET BACK HERE :rubymad: like he was my son being cheeky to me and I demanded to know if I could take more or not and he said it would be fine but I thought it was going away so I just went to lay in bed but it started getting worse and I was rocking my head back and forward and moaning in pain and I noticed that when I put my head to the right and moaned at just the right pitch the vibration helped with the pain and I sat there for like 10 minutes doing some tebetan throat chanting shit where I manually held my adams apple to the side to get the right frequency and took a big breath and went ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm but then I decided to go find something better and I considered using my bullet vibrators but I didnt want to end up having to walk into a hospital holding a sex toy against my face and I considered using my PS3 controller plugged into my computer leaving it on test vibration on motion joy but that's me stuck at the computer which I didn't want to be for the first time in my life so I went looking for an electric toothbrush and of course the one I found died after vibrating for half a second I found another one and it really fucking helped for some reason to hold it against my face on the outside of where the tooth was I guess just because it was overwhelming from the sensation of pain you'd think it would aggravate it but it distracted from it but this one was at low charge and of fucking course you cant just plug it into the charger and use it while its charging that would be far to complex so I needed a fucking third one and I asked my dad where one was and he found the charging cradle for the first one but that was of course going to take years to charge up and he found a disposable one and he joked about just using one of them as it was charging and I was like yeah I tried that and then stared at him blankly because I couldnt tell he was kidding and he couldnt tell if I was kidding or not and it was what being autistic must be like you know more autistic than usual since I was in so much pain I was starting to not be able to concentrate or think through things and I started hearing this weird music outside and I was like is that the fucking muslim call to prayer and my dad heard it too and for a second I thought I was starting to imagine things but I guess theres an ISIS cell setting up nearby or something you know #justbritishthings and I went down the stairs and my mum put some ice in a towel and I held that against my face and I had a we sit down at my computer and tried to shitpost on 4chan to take my mind off of it and the ice helped by numbing it but after it started melting after about half an hour it wasn't overwhelmingly cold enough to numb it and just painfully cold and I went to sit down in the kitchen and I must have looked like shit because my parents started discussing what pills I could take and my mum thinks I'm literally scared to take pills for some reason and I just told her I was past giving a shit and my parents literally have a bag of morphine pills very clearly labeled morphine in a cabinet up the stairs but I didnt want to take it because I literally thought "considering I'm probably literally addicted to 4chan in some very close parallel universe I'm going to try morphine, get addicted to it, then think back to today and wish I'd never taken it" so I didnt (this is the same logic that brings me to never want to try smoking, drinking or any sort of drugs) which is probably retarded since people extremely rarely get addicted to opiates from medical use since it's in a context you dont want to repeat and to bring yourself up to a normal level not get high for recreational purposes because you want to escape your problems but I'd rather go my entire life without taking mind altering substances just in case so I dont end up like well literally every single person on this forum and everyone I've told this to has said I was retarded for not just taking some proper painkillers since thats as appropriate a time to do it as it gets other than fanfare who told me that Lord Kek will reward me for not doing drugs by killing Hillary Clinton and there was a bit where I was trying to get my mum to tell me if we should go to the nhs the next day or a private one whenever it opens the next day, and she kept giving me non-answers about how the nhs one is for emergencies only, and I just started saying "you're not telling me anything" over and over again until she said "we'll go to whichever is open first, it looks like you cant thall it" and I honestly thought I was losing the ability to understand language and I yelled "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?" in unironic terror and it turns out thall is a scottish slang for endure first time I'd ever heard it in my life and of course it was used in this situation to make me think I was about to have a stroke but this was somehow making me more considerate too I guess because I knew I needed help so I apologized if I seemed belligerent which is the only time I've said sorry in my life I think lmao and so my mum called the NHS and asked to be seen and they said come in tomorrow (as if socialized health care will help me on a sunday, fuck off statism) and when the woman on the phone asked to describe how it felt I took the phone and said "it feels like getting stabbed in the face over and over again" and then handed it back without even waiting for a reply and her solution was to WASH MY MOUTH WITH SALT WATER so my mum gives me a cup of water with salt in it at the table and I go to drink it and my dad says you might want to do that over the sink and I ask why and he says so you can spit it out and I yelled NO ONE TOLD ME THAT!!! :rubyrage: since I was having so much trouble thinking straight I just assumed I'm meant to drink this cup of liquid put in front of me I literally forgot you're not meant to drink salt water and that was the only moment where I almost started crying and it was from anger I guess most people cry from pain because theres an emotional component to being hurt like children do it to get help when they're hurt and adults do it because it's releasing pent up emotions they had or they're scared they'll be permanently harmed or something but I wasn't really scared since I knew it was just some dental issue that couldn't really kill me or disable me or something the only emotion I was feeling was frustration and anger that this was happening so if someone was torturing me or something it would have probably been better since then I'd have had a target to get angry at rather than just a random gay ass thing that happens to your body sometimes (creationists should be forced to endure this if they think god designed the human body what kind of fucking idiot would have this happen regularly fuck off god) but let me tell you when the SALT hit my EXPOSED NERVE was when I came very very close to just saying fuck it time to get blazed on pills I'd call that a 9/10 on the pain scale when it was at it's worse and felt like it was burning when I guess the nerve was being directly stimulated constantly a 10/10 would be yeah fuck it literally give me a heroin injection fam or just punch me in the head to knock me out but I did have a moment where I glanced at a knife and considered just using it to cut the tooth out thats how bad it was it was literally like the scene from the first episode of Alias I saw when I was like 10 where she was getting tortured by this gook in a wheelchair who tears out her molar with a pliar and then offers her morphine if she talks but she still refuses (except retareded and autistic)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...t.jpg~original
so now I feel extremely hard lmao since I never broke and took those pills and I would literally pass out if I was in any worse pain so someone could literally beat the fucking shit out of me with a metal pipe or something and I could take it I could literally be in that scene from Alias and do the same thing as Jennifer Garner so no one is ever getting the rubynet codes out of me dont you worry about it marco even though I was literally about to go insane I didn't budge like there was a very surreal moment where I was holding the vibrating toothbrash to my face under the ice pack against the side of my face and my eyes were rolling in the back of my head and my mouth was open and I was drooling and rocking back and fourth and fidgeting randomly with my other hand and I was seriously about to fucking pass out but then I saw this picture of TAYLOR SWIFT on a newspaper
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...r.jpg~original
and I didnt have the dexterity to work my fingers on the page so just moved it around with my entire arm to read the headline that she'd broken up with Tom Hiddleston and my dad sits down next to me at the kitchen table and says "I never found her that attractive, I guess he didnt either" and my mum said "she has a lot of boyfriends" and I was having trouble stringing a coherent thought together but I managed to focus hard enough through the fog of pain via sheer waufism to gradually piece together a sentence explaining that she's gay and they're all her beards and she's in love with karlie kloss, and I carried out a conversation about how taylor swift is a closet lesbian while writhing about in pain and slurring my speech talking like a retard, it was bizarre, but I'll always be thankful to taytay for giving me something to focus on I guess that's the power of waifuism I learned a lot during that moment like 1) why retarded people and people fucked up on drugs act like that, they dont have the brainpower to interrupt the urges not to, I literally couldnt put together the command for "close mouth" or stop myself from swatting my hand around 2) why torture doesnt fucking work for information gathering because I would have told anyone any made up bullshit to make it stop, there was a bit where my dad mentioned that they made him wait to get dental surgery to take antibiotics for a few days and I started babbling that I'm already on them, obviously a lie and they didn't even understand what I was saying but you get the picture 3) I understood why people self harm because you literally stop thinking when in enough pain, like a sort of forced meditation, you just focus on the physical sensation, so I got why if you were an angsty teenager who cant stop thinking about getting molested you might take a razor to yourself to focus on that instead if it was bad enough, the same reason why people do get addicted to drugs or just do little things like leave the TV on in the background at all times, they have done experiments where they leave people alone with nothing to do for a quarter of an hour other than a button that administers an electric shock to them and 63% of people will literally rather elecotrocute themselves than be alone with their own thoughts for 15 minutes, thats how pathetic the average human is but thankfully I'm not lisa so not being able to think wasn't an enjoyable experience and you know what it also made me feel closer to my parents since usually when you interact with someone you're thinking about it on all these different levels with various hang ups you have about them but from the severe pain I could only take them at face value and even though my dad's autistic as hell and my mum can be pedantic and annoying they don't do it on purpose and didn't hesitate to try their best to help me no matter what an asshole I was being it was kind of sweet in a icepick being stabbed into your jaw kind of way like there was a bit where my dad tried to cheer me up by bringing me an amazon delivery box that had arrived for me but I just instantly threw it behind myself and it landed perfectly ontop of my bookshelf ontop of some precariously placed books I couldnt have done this if I tried literally walking up and putting it on there without them toppling over never mind throwing it on purpose and I thought I hallucinated it, but it actually happened since it was still there, like I didnt even have the brain power to consider what was it in or what was happening so I guess my brain was just diverted 100% power into keeping my body working and it turned on aimbot irl I like the idea of pain letting me aim better if I'm ever in a situation in dayz where I need to aim real good I'll put a power drill through my face and then start doing gunkata in the game anyway I realized it was coming into contact with the back of the tooth that was what the issue was so I made sure not to let my tongue near it or breathe through my mouth and I only ate with the left side of my mouth and when I drank I had my head leaning to the left and I had a routine where I'd hold the icepack against my face and when it started to melt I'd hold the toothbrush against my face and smear some sensitive toothpaste on the tooth that my mum told me to do that of course just made it hurt like a mothafucka again until it was time to take more calpol and this went on until it was night time while I watched Jimmy Car do a documentary on the science of laughing which was ironic and I was exhausted at this stage and prepared for a long night with the softest food I could find, something soothing to drink and all the tat I'd accumulated to deal with this
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...d.jpg~original
but I actually fell asleep immediately then I woke up and the pain had spread to my right canine teeth as if it was just lighting up the nerve pathways all along that side of my face with pain or something and I didnt even get dressed because I fell asleep in the clothes I was wearing the day before and I didnt do any sort of morning routine I just got straight into the car and when we got to this dental hospital it looked like an abandoned hospital from a horror movie literally like an abandoned front desk falling apart and dilapidated furniture and the ceiling tiles falling down behind it and I started wondering if I was dreaming or had finally snapped and there was a notice someone put up saying front desk up the stairs so we went up there and suddenly the hospital was completely modern and normal I guess they were doing renovations down the stairs and just no one was there for some fucking reason and when I sat down in the waiting room with my parents there were these two lads who looked older than me but were probably younger for all I know since I'm 25 but feel about 15 and they kept glancing nervously at me I must have smelled like shit since I was sweating profusely from being in so much pain and I must have looked completely fucked I was just so fucking tired from my body being on high OH FUCK AAAAAAAAAAA alert for the last 24 hours that my eyes could barely stay open and I was just slumped over with my head in my hand holding an ice pack to it I looked exactly like this
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...w.png~original
then when I got called in my parents asked if they wanted them to come in but I figured it would just be awkward with them trying to talk for me and I'd rather do it myself since I trust myself to be clearer even while about to pass out into a coma than my autismal parents and when I went in there the guy left the door open and random people were walking by and galcning in and I swear to fucking god the dentist looked very similar to tim abrue :barrymischief: but very tall and he told me like we just do pain management here we dont do full treatments (thank you glorious NHS) but then when he took a look in my mouth and looked around the back of the molar with the little mirror he was like oh yeah this is wrecked, no filling this, we just should take it out now and he started testing the integrity of my teeth by getting a little metal pokey stick and poking them and asking me if it was sore and as he got closer to the wisdom tooth I started whining and he asked if it was sore and I said "no I'm just fucking terrified of you poking the molar that is sore because its fucking torture" and he said let me just do it as a test and I let him and it actually wasnt that bad because I guess he was just touching the other side of it that wasnt exposed fucking root canal of my tooth and he asked me if I want him to just remove it and he said it real serious like it was going to be painful or a long procedure or disabling or something and I said I'll go and talk to my parents about what I should do and when I told them what he said and my mum just said well you'll be in pain forever if you dont and I all it took was to have a little test touch on the exposed nerve with my tongue which felt like wolverine punched me in the face with his claws out to make up my mind that even if it was somehow worse than this it'd at least be over I was so fucking tired of being in pain I just wanted it to end so I went back in and fucking tim abrue tells me I wont feel a thing he just didnt want to pressure me into anything and I said I am not too attached to a tooth that only just came in a few years ago and that no one can even see lets do it and then as hes getting ready a fat indian woman comes in and says DO YOU NEED ME TO MARK THE TOOTH FOR YOU and I realize hes a DENTAL STUDENT not a real dentist and he says "no, its pretty obvious which one it is this time" implying he'd pulled someones wrong fucking tooth out before or at least started to but [glow=black]at that stage I would have let the real tim abrue rip my tooth out for me[/glow] :barry: and just let him go for it and as they were setting up this dental student who was using me as a guinie pig without my knowledge god bless the NHS he was asking the REAL dentist if the chair was high enough and she said its whatever you're comfortable with you dont want to strain yourself or you'll get into a bad habit and hurt your back if you're hunched over doing this for the next 30 years and she says "your coleague is 7 foot tall, imagine how high up he needs it" and I automatically said "hes a big guy" :cia: not trying to be funny but literally just because I couldnt interupt the urge to say the first thing that came into my head then he put a syringe in my mouth and injected a local anisthetic around the tooth which wasnt painful at all I just felt a pressure poking against me I didnt feel it penetrate at all and then the area started to numb and that felt absolutely amazing like the feeling you get when maybe a light fitting has been making an annoying buzzing noise you havnt even noticed conciously but when it gets turned off its such a relief but times a thousand it was like an orgasm times 100 and I was ontop of the moon or whatever as this guy put pliers into my mouth and just started wriggling it out gradually and he was trying to make sure he got it all and it didnt splinter so the real dentist gave it a try and just gave it a real tug since I guess she knew from experience it's integrity and he finished it off by putting in a little metal spike to completely dig it out or maybe cut the nerve off or something and the aniesthetic was so good I honestly didnt feel anything and it didnt make my face go numb or anything I had fillings in 3 of my canines a few years ago and that left my lips numb and it was amusing to flap them about without feeling them in fact that feeling is how I determined I'd accidentally put on a condom with novacane in it that made my dick go numb once which didnt say it had numbing cream inside it anywhere on any of the packaging and I had to look it up online to verify this and then I literally got angry at rootbeer because its of premature ejaculating cucks like him that such a thing would even exist in the first place I shoulda turned one of those inside out and rubbed it on my tooth but I think I threw them out anyway please note that dumb as dogshit americans literally have to HUFF LAUGHING GAS when they get something like this done at the dentists or even a GENERAL ANISTHETIC THAT CAN FUCKING KILL YOU if it goes wrong when all you need is a little injection to not feel a thing probably all so the insurance jews can jack up their prices even more anyway after the extraction which only took like 10 minutes I was elated that the pain was gone and I started smiling up at this guy while he was talking to me because of how much he looked like tim and it made him a little uncomfortable but he understood and I was all giddy and asking them if I can keep the tooth and they said no sorry its medical waste I guess they dont want people showing it around and them getting AIDS and I said well can I take a piture of it to post it on the internet I literally said that and tim said sure get out your phone and I said I dont have one go get my mum lmao and she came in and took pictures of it (that I had to text to my dads phone and then email to myself since everything is so terrible in the world of technology) and as I was walking out I felt like I had just won a million dollars or something or you know something I'd actually really enjoy like hear Lost was coming back and I must have been really high on the relief because I told my parents usually I'd make fun of americans for taking out their wisdom teeth just in case but maybe they're not wrong there it's only another thousand things that they're retarded about and after the injection wore off the hole in my gums where the tooth used to be was a bit tender and my entire face felt like I had been punched or something which I guess I had someone literally tore a tooth out of my head but considering I was no longer feeling like I was sucking on X-23's toes as she popped her claws I didn't care at all and on the upside I can now hide a cyanide capsul in there or since I've now had basically more severe anti-torture training than any special forces I'll just put a little thumbdrive with my cp collection in the hole
there that was a little blog post I wrote literally a month ago well I didn't even write it I just cobbled together chat messages I sent to various people that wasn't even original work for this thread and even then I was too lazy to add the board code (unironically on volvoforums since the text runs off to the side of the advanced post box good work clay I'm docking 10% of your snickers) but I finally managed to do it for marco and dirty harry to enjoy and for my own future reference since I don't want to forget my annual interesting experience
