Originally Posted by
daf mexican
I don't even know how I ended up in this forum.
I have nowhere to go.
My family abused me.
The only person in my life was someone who picked me up off the street battered and bruised and in shock and they turned out to be a ice junky who was using me for what he could. These are not things I want in my life.
I tried really hard to do something worthwhile. In spite of all the shit, not even having a home through highschool and never finishing I went and got myself two degrees when I was 21 and sat an entry exam and was lucky enough to be smart enough yto blitz it in, and that's about the only time in my life where having brain gave me a lift up, I wanted to teach and help children get through school because I never did and spent years before university living in what was hell, a violent man putting me in hospital because frankly I didn't know any better... and I did teach for a couple of years but I've seen too much shit there that I can't deal with and it only took a couple of kicks of the stool out from under me and I just can't... I just can't, I am not emotionally equipped to do that anymore. I got other jobs that wouldn't be as stressfull but when I lost those things just got worse and worse. Now I'm in a situation where junkies pick me up off the street when I'm bashed on xmas day because I'm even more pathetic than them. I've got nothing, nothing anymore and all I can worry about is what will happen to my cat. I'm not on a pension and I am struggling a lot, there is no safety net for me anymore, no family, no-one who cares... just mounting debts of bills that I can barely even pay anymore. I can't understand people at all... I can't understand why they do these horrible things to each other.... an ice junky actually looked good to me because he was the kindest person I had actually met in a really long time.
I don't spend my money on pot... I wish I could like I used to when I had money... it made things seem better. I wish there was somewhere I could take my cat so I knew she would be spoilt and looked after and I could just go quitely die. I had stopped breathing after my brother bashed me and I wish I had just been left to die.... it was easy to die at that point but people had to bring me back just so I could suffer more shit.. why? Why is everything like this? What the fuck kind of place is this and what the fuck kind of people are some of you. Some of you here aren't bad people at all but I just can't stand these pieces of shit, Ic an't stand them here and I can't stand them in the world anymore and I don't think I can fight any of them anymore. There is no help for what I'm going through but I honestly just don't think I lay here and take it anymore.... I just want to die but what will happen to my cat? My cat is the only good and pure thing in my life.
It's obviously true, I have obviously lost my mind but I don't even want my mind back in a world like this, if sane and doing well is doing to people what has been done to me and what I've seen others do even to children then I don't want to be sane, I don't even want to exist in way where I am aware of anything anymore.
What the fuck is this place and what the fuck kind of people are SOME of you? Am I supossed to abuse people, lie, use people to have a good life? Because I don't even want a life anymore. There is literally nothing more I have to offer or give and I can't live in a world like this anymore, I want out. Something bad is going to happen again... I know this feeling... something bad is going to happen... I hope I get to die this time and to the shit people I hope you burn on earth and to the good people, I wish you could be spared the abhorrent things that go on in this world but I at least hope you have comfort and some measure of happiness and I hope you are surrounded by other good people.
Now I'm in a situation where junkies pick me up off the street when I'm bashed on xmas day because I'm even more pathetic than them. I've got nothing, nothing anymore and all I can worry about is what will happen to my cat. I'm not on a pension and I am struggling a lot, there is no safety net for me anymore, no family, no-one who cares... just mounting debts of bills that I can barely even pay anymore.
I hate to say this Tim
but you don't live in the real world... you live with your parents and you don't even work
it's not as bad as Russia but it's well on the way
I mean I've had a couple of retard bush-pigs follow me in here but the quality of those women is just appalling.
Meanwhile there is one hell of a sexy clever vixen who could be posting here if she wasn't harassed to buggery by every desperate loser guy the minute she steps in the forum.
you don;t know how many lying pathetic bush-pig women I've come across on the internet who claim their obviously neglected kids are doing really well
I knew one who kept claiming her son was doing his "A levels" however she claimed that same thing for about 4 years... I queried her as to why it was taking him 4 years to do it
The truth came out that he had actually dropped out of hisghchool through a total lack of support from his parents... the father had long ago taken off to get away from the crazy slag of a mother and the mother was just a self absorbed lying headcase spending all day online trying to slag out other women and making multiple claims that always contradicted themselves.
And that boys and girls is the end of the story about bush-pig fucktard women trolls on the internet.
We USED to be a country relatively free of corruption
but it's been going downhill for a few years now
I don't think our current government has helped in that... it's a shame because I'm a Labor supporter at heart but they have been so busy destroying themselves from the inside out, betraying themselves and the people that I'm more than ready for Liberal to take the reigns for a while and with Abbott that is just a terrorfying thought but is better than the rubbish we have now
I don't usually blame government but there is so much corruption within the government and within big business (because they just got more corrupt when the government tried to get more money out of them and they have had the practice with globalisation and doing business with countries where corruption is rife) and the government has put nothing in place to police that at all... it instead of actually governing is running some kind of petty infantile popularity contest that they are losing.
When they tried to get more money from the big businesses and put more money into government they needed to implement a policing system to make sure the money got where it was suppossed to, it needed to be on the big business case to make sure they paid their dues and frankly they didn't... the corrupt saw the loopholes, jumped on the gravy train, the government did nothing to stop them and the little people paid out their asses for the rich to get richer through corruption while the small worker got left for dead.
There's a lot more corruption in Australia than they'd let you know
and it's only been getting a LOT worse the past few years
I met an old foreign guy who had been sleeping at central station for 3 months... he said he was taken in and they took his passport off and threw him back out on the street so he was stuck and couldn't even get back home to his home country where he had a house and family
I've thought lexi was rose before
but I don't care, I just take people as they come
being a fucktard = fucktard
not being a fucktard = not a fucktard
now if that isn't bob-type mathematics I don't know what is
I thought so at first, she e-mailed me last week after my emotional want to die post and everyone being a fucktard
however I never knew rose to spam recipes and she was slightly less retarded and more sassy than that fuckwit and I don't think it's her. I have heard mentioned in other forums around these traps about some fucking loser who gets banned for spamming recipes and I went ahead and assumed that was this fucktard.
I'm confused about what "pawgs" are
well I hate to be technical
but my fish pie/stew has none of those things in it
someone give him a middle school maths problem to fuck up and get wrong in everyway imaginable
thankfully I won't have to watch and be embarassed for him anymore
seriously I've marked maths tests and I had never even see a kid get something so utterly wrong before... and they usually act more mature than bob did when they do get a question wrong too. It takes a rare kind of retard to dig a whole as deep as bob did over a pretty simple and straight forward maths question.
You know he was pming me saying he was going to ask NASA scientists about it? LOL!
Full tard.
what a fucking no-life loser
seriously
there is a difference between funny jokes and a bit of banter and fucktard brain damaged trolling
a big difference
take note dp and about 5 others
you're about as "funny" as this fucktard troll
only a total lack of wit, jealousy, brain damage, and a lack of anything productive to work on in your life, a lack of humanity, failure in your own life etc... drives a fucking retard like that
and then you get a bunch of sheeple with pretty low IQ's who would happily follow along in that shit.. because as long as they are shitting on someone else they are getting approval from each other... and they can't get that by actually doing anything good in their lives so they turn to this kind of fucking shit
I mean look at the fucking loser
a highschool drop-out with no g/f, no job who picks on 10 year old girls, makes fun of little kids being shot and threatens to rape models, obviously couldn't get laid if his life depended on it.
wow
do you need to go to the hospital for that? I think you can sick from a scorpion bite
Is there someone who can take you?
oh juji
they've tried to drag you into their fucktard rubbish but you are adored and don't get all bent out of shape because of half a dozen total fucking losers
I wish I could have been there in the school yard for you, I would have kicked some teeth in if anyone touched you
I would have then pulled you behind the bike shed and had my way with you
Don;t leave me juji :( I have abandonment issues and you are one of the many people I and others who aren't retarded trolls really like here.
Fuck those losers, they aren't worth even using as a human toilet. They aren't even high enough up the food chain to be ass wipes.
You're a fucking legend juji and I admire you and I've told you that before. I hope you understand what I mean.
you're still on ignore
stop making posts and topics about me with your retard sheeple and get a life
you shit up the whole forum
I don;t even have to be here for you to do it either you fucking retarded loser
you hang out with Cody
'nuff said.
I can bring life into a dead forum
and fucktard sheeple trolls can shit it up
depends which way the admin want to go really
but I assure you the trolls will not stop and the more they are allow
perhaps they should be quarantined
then they can spam all day about me without bothering other members who long ago got bored of their rubbish
they could annoy each other until such a time as they get a life of their own and something readable to post about
quick
post some cock gifs to look cool
Ask OB to post her dick 200 times a day in between making 200 posts and topics about me and rape
that will make the forum better and readable
quick, hop to it
make more alts like "lisa's babysitter" to help you in your quest
you just make the forum so cool
*insert gif of cock here*
Im sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, Im REALLY deeply sorry.
I've had some retardation mental phases that couldn't control myself, since i registered was the worst experience in forum some months history. I've insulted to the most important members like maks, sex with dead people, barry, jon, camoron, ascii_genitals, etc... Words cannot express how truly sorry im for the anxiety, frustration and inconvenience that i caused.
This is especially saddening because i was founded on the promise of bringing fun social back to the internet and making the experience of posting happier and easier for everyone who chooses to laugh with us. I know i failed to get accepted on this forum.
You deserved better a lot than me. Nothing is more important than regaining your trust and all of us here hope you will give us the opportunity to welcome.
I'm going to reveal the truth about my rape history:
My father emotionally, physically and sexually abused me. I moved out at the age of sixteen, hoping to escape all the pain, only to find out that it would follow me. My psyche and boundaries were very damaged and I did not realize that because of my upbringing and appearance I attracted sexual predators.
After dating at age twenty-one, I discovered my boyfriend was a porn addict. So great was his sexual perversity and infidelity that I was at a loss to know what to do to save my relationship. Finally, after five years of relationship, i broke up and im still lonely...
He took a keen interest in me that made me feel special. I really thought he cared and wanted to help me. His acts of kindness convinced me that I had found a father figure I could trust and who would help me forget my relationship and work through my past abuse.
We got to the hotel room and to my surprise he had a key and opened the door. He went inside and I followed. Once inside he began kissing me. Shockedand terribly confused, I pushed him away and told him I didn’t understand. He said he was in love with me and had been waiting to tell me. He told mehe thought I was the most beautiful woman he ever had seen and that he wanted to make love to me.
I was stunned. I told him I could not do that as I was convinced and did not have the same feelings towards him. This seemed to make him angry and he became more forceful. Why I did not run out of the room I am not sure. Part of me felt immobilized. I felt obligated to stay and talk him down. After all I did not want to hurt his feelings!
I kept physically fighting him off and telling him that though I respected him as my pastor and as a father figure I wanted him to stop. He pushed me, tore my clothes and raped me. The ugly event seemed to last forever. It was as if I mentally checked out. I remember that it hurt, that I was crying and that he was calling me names like whore and slut and saying many derogatory things about me. As he was violating me there was a knock on the door. Apparently he had this whole thing planned and had invited others to join him. He let four strangers into the room, who all took their turn raping me. They raped me both anally and vaginally. The pain was incredible as they were very rough and forceful. After what seemed like forever I blacked out. I remember the pastor shaking me hard and slapping me across the face.
One of the most disturbing things that happened that night is that I had an orgasm. Despite years of relationship, it was my first orgasm ever. It really`confused me. I thought some part of me must be mentally sick to have experienced the pleasure of an orgasm during this horrific trauma. My only conclusion was that there was something terribly perverted and wrong with me.
That's all.
This is NOT anything I've EVER written
these 3 are not the first fake batterys on the internet either
I've had a few and a few came from EMINEM.COM too
I wish I didn't log out to see that
uh yeeeeeeeeeeah what a catch
I wonder what he'd think of this...
He's bound to be interested, who wouldn't be right? I mean you're the hottest woman in this forum, tell him that
You should join his teenager internet gang and win his love with your amazing fucktard trolling skills of making 250 posts a day about women you are jealous of in forums in between spamming recipes
I'm sure he'll scoop... I mean crain lift you up and make you queen of his really cool internet gang... he's a total cutie yeah?*puke*
you're still on ignore but let's get one thing clear sid
I'M juji's stalker, not you
stop being such a retard fag, I don't know what you're posting but I'm sure your nose is up someone's ass and you are being a retard fag.
at least those are nice round tits, not just sacks of bra flab, granted covered by a little more than healthy layer of fat... but not that really unhealthy saggy flab that only comes from stuffing your face all day and not exercising ever
I dare say the other pic juji posted is her when she was 14 or 15
I hate when women post 10 year old pics of themselves that they try to pass off as current
Urafuctardfan08 and that fat ugly fucktard who collected all my pics, joined and tried to pretend to be me for days and now makes 250 posts about me a day
oh and that fucking loser woman who used to be australian but was deported for being a bush-pig
and that's just the women ones
I've got one of me on stage as a teenager
there weren't many webcams or camera phones then and I don;t have many pics that survived that I have scanned and uploaded onto my computer juji
but here is one of me on stage
well I think she is
she acts like a girl
and what has me saying so got to do with anything you fucking idiot?
You've been around here for how long? And you're telling me deso is a girl?
I doubt anyone should listen to you. I mean the last online affair YOU had was with lexi and he isn't a girl either you fucking tard.
She is an unfunny, try-hard, idiotic, fat, jealous, bush-pig, ass sniffing for attention, ugly troll who thinks everyone hates anyone who she mentions ad nauseam.... this also assumes that others have as little of a life of their own as she and that what they do have is as pathetic as hers and involves trolling women they are jealous of in a desperate attempt for attention and to try and pick up in forums. So far she has had no luck, this is why she will often join a forum and pretend to be one of the other female members, and when that fails she trolls them with insane jealousy and when that fails the hideous fat slag spams recipes.
Is not welcome at any other forum.
Can always be seen posting desperate and obtuse comments multiple times after another member's post and claiming she is the hottest woman in the forum.
m0nde tried to cyber date lexi
When it comes to picking up "chicks" on the Internet for m0nde it's "bros before hoes"
No-one told him that saying doesn't apply for trying to pick up, unless you are homosexual and that's ok but in which case making topics to post pics of women's bums won't actually fool anyone
m0nde, you thought lexi was a woman even though everyone told you they were a guy and you tried to have a romantic cyber fling with him.
You have been in tiny chat with deso and in between displays of your affection for Tim heard the sexy male voice deso has and in spite of people telling you for years that deso is a guy you continually make posts of love for him as a woman.
Just get your shit together and come out of the closet already sid, or maybe repeat "because you said so" another dozen times to try and cover up for the fact that you are a raging closet homosexual who actually has no idea who anyone is.
Have you ever seen a more desperate, jealous or pathetic woman?
She spazzes anytime I talk to a guy in here, I mean look at that, I'm using you and wish you were maks or dp? Ummmmmmmm okaaaaaaay.
Show us the desperate pms the pathetic hideous bush-pig is pming you.... it's probably something like, "I saw Lisa talk to you today, you know she really likes (insert some fucking losers names) and not you? She is just using you. You know you should have a romantic interest in me because I'm jealous of Lisa and I'm the hottest woman in the forum, real women have rolls and are unfit, Lisa is just a ugly slut and I'm not, I saw you talk to her today so please give me all the attention before I make 5 posts after Lisa's everyone one about her in some desperate jealous attempt to vie for attention against women in forums I am jealous of."
That's exactly what her pms say isn't it?
It's Sunday arvo and I have my own bum
I will not pick up for a month at least, need to recover and last week a guy I used to get pot off tried to fuck me, well he did, in between me running away to throw up.
It was fucking awful, just wanted to spew all the time.
I am never going out again. I get in enough trouble without going to look for it. But I better turn the tables when I recover, and be the predator rather than the prey. And in the meantime just... NOT do anything or go anywhere.
She literally saw this topic and then started pming Flag trying to pick him up
This has caused Flag to come running, screaming in terror, into my arms for refuge from the bush-pig trying to mate attack.
It's ok Flag, the fat nasty bush-pig is just vying for sexual attention
If only bob would show her some interest, would be a match made in heaven and then the fat tard might get a life and leave us alone, her too.
Flag is a fantastic cyber lover and I would not throw him to the bush-pigs.
I have no idea what the fat retarded slag is spamming about here
I have her on ignore
I only know about her trying to pick up Flag in pm by him quoting her
why does that fat slag keep spamming?
She has some kind of issue where she needs to makes 3 posts in a row
it's probably because she has to stop after each sentence to eat more
so in between stuffing her face constantly with food we get multiple posts of desperation and you lucky guys get pms trying to pick you up
I get a fat insane jealous retarded bush-pig who signed up to the forum trying to pretend to be me and trying to pick up who now just makes 3 posts of some rubbish I have no clue about because she is on ignore after my every post in between pming any guy who posts in the same topic as me trying to pick them up
I don't know about that
I used to live in Mitcham next to the train line, the yard was like a jungle and being next to the train line and the pub would sometimes get underage kids drinking in the bushes in the yard.
One night I was quite drunk and some punks decided to play silly buggers, they were running around the house tapping on the windows... after some time this annoyed me and I ran through the kitchen, grabbed something out the draw and ran outside... once I was outside standing alone in the dark I looked at what I had grabbed and was weilding.... it was a tea spoon... undeterred I held the tea spoon out and yelled, "Come out then! I'll fucking scoop your eyeballs out!!"... no-one came out. I went back inside and the tapping on the windows stopped.
why does it hurt your feelings?
It's not a personal attack on you.
It's just the right to do. The would be father is a psycho lying meth head. I fucked up. It would be cruel to bring a kid into this. I wasn't doing that well before I met Pete and Pete just fucked up everywhere, I fucked up by getting pregnant, no, it would just be cruel to have this kid and what kind of father would that piece of shit be? A lying psycho meth head, accused me of tring to extort money from him, accused me of having gang bangs in hotels, accused em of getting pregnant to someone else just to do this to him... a total fucking idiot. Then after all that he wants to get back together. That's not fair on me OR a kid. The guy is a piece of shit pig who constantly lied to me, is a fucking junky and acted worse than a pig.
this isn't the middle ages or some backwards country, I have options because I found out early and I'm doing what is best in THIS situation.
Hopw the FUCK does that hurt YOUR feelings?
why do you bother pming me with tripe and then posting the pms multiple times? Who attention are you seeking by doing that juji?
Getting fatflabcat's attention is a given because you posted in the same topic as me, but to do that, keep pming me and posting the pms multiple times, you must be seeking some kind of other validation of something... what would that be
*YAWN*
no you are the one who claims to be the hottest woman in the forum and thing is you're a bush-pig
I have never said anything of the sort
multiple desperate posting after my every post
signing up trying to pretend to be me
posting my pics everywhere because they look a damn site better than you and you are fat and ugly
you should seek professional help about your dykish obsession with me
you're gross
and that's pic of me in my pyjamas
well I am DEFINATELY not a junky
and Mike does not take heroin anymore
Mike is not comming back because frankly some of the trolls are too tedious, pathetic and they aren't even funny
Mike being a genius got bored of their idiocy pretty quick.
And yep I'm great friends with him, we chat almost everyday on skype and he is not interested in talking to fucking retarded losers... if THAT'S what you mean by "got my claws into him" then yep. Mike and I have been great friends for quite a while now.
well maks used to be buddies with Mike
they actually both tried to bring me here from other forums
maks chucked a spazz when I joined because I told him as I had been on the internet for 20 years I did not need any help in posting pics as he kept following me around trying to tell me how to post pics like some special needs kid who just learnt how to tie his shoe laces, in spite of me actually posting pics... I got tired of that and told him I didn;t need his help, he went full spazz and started a campaign against me with his 3 or so friends, they are really into rep, by the way Cody paid the admin to get his rep green, he used to have the most red rep here, I generally have the most now but have enough of an actual life not to care about 3 or so gutless jerkoffs and their clicking rep frantically all day leaving annonomous comments... so anyway maks started trolling me and meanwhile I became good friends with Mike, this pissed maks off so maks started trolling Mike, Mike had been here for years but he got bored of the tedious retard trolling pretty quick and left month
you're a HELL of a lot uglier you bush-pig
get a life
posting pics of women who are more attractive than you in forums doesn't stop you from being older, uglier and fatter than them.
actually my pm box is always full of sleaze from male members
yours is not
hence your insane jealousy and signing up trying to pretend to be me
and STILL in spite all yoru effort not one lonely desperate guy in here has shown you any interest
keep sniffing my ass for attention bush-pig, it's not like you'll ever stop stuffing your face or get off your lard ass and go for a jog
this is literally the best game you've got, posting pics of me
according to you I'm every guy's g/f
yet you're not anyones
Jelous? We all saw you pming Patrick yesterday trying to pick him up, even that vag obsessed guy didn't want to know about you
I mean it's not just that you're fat and ugly but you also have one of the most pathetic personalities in a woman I've ever seen, it's actually more pathetic than May's.
I can take a pic pulling the ugliest face I can for a laugh and STILL literally look better than you
pretty sad
um no
the bush-pig signed up with 20 pics of me already saved, pretended to be me for the first week and tried to pick up and frantically pm's any guy she sees me talking to trying to tell them she is the hottest woman and they will not get enough of her and then runs around and spams every topic with my pics (the worst ones she can find) and telling everyone I'm such and such's g/f otr that such and such is my b/f
the bush-pig is a full tard
oh and she occasionally tries to claim she is married but we all saw pics of her and she has no wedding ring and I can't imagine what kind of marriage it is where she signs up to forums trying to pretend to be other female members and literally has a crack at every single guy she sees posting in a topic through pm or otherwise... other t5han a make-believe marriage that is.
24/7 this is what she does, she really is a bush-pig too, that is why she will never show you her own pics, only will post pics of other women from forums that she is jealous of.
She's one of those types... if you know what I mean.
just the tip of the iceberg
he will get obsessed about you and in between faking heart attacks just troll and troll and troll you with the same idiotic shit all day, telling you to leave, I have a screen cap that I used as a sig for a while to take the piss out of him (note his sig)
it sums up maks in a nutshell... and really there is not much more to him at all
lol
rep for a couple of these losers (maks, juji, cody and a couple of others) is literally just another way for them to pretend they have friends IRL, that people like them and just another way for them to annonomously spam people with rep comments. They do this all day.
Some of them have a couple of accounts that they use just to rep themselves with. maks for example is also "dr remulak"
Cody for example literally paid the admin to give him green rep (lol! yes he actually paid money to the admin to get rep) and then has a fake g/f account that he uses to make sure he stays green.
When others like Rooty tried to use their rep in a genuine fashion the whinges whinged that others were getting green rep and actually had all his rep removed.
That is all the system is here... I mean rep systems at the best of times resemble a middle school popularity contest but here it doesn't even measure that due to reasons I just mentioned.
For sure it should be removed. If people want to make comments they should have the balls to say it right there in the topic with their own face.
It's utter rubbish.
you're fat and hideous
hook up with GulDucat already and the both of you get lives
you were rejected by me only about 500 times bob
just ewwwwwwwwwww
he isn't some fucking fat ugly loser who has harassed the shit out of me, cracked onto me 500 times and been rejected or some bush-pig dyke who signed up trying to pretend to be me, had 20 pics of me saved before even joining and now literally follows me around posting my pics and trying to pick up every guy in the forum
she has erotomania and used to think she was dating EMINEM
she saw all other fans as a threat to her imagined relationship with him
she literally followed me here because I was a mod of EMINEM.COM and she thought that meant I know him.
I don't. I just joined his forum in 2001 and was the longest standing member. Use to post there in between writing essays all through university.
That forum was around before MySpace and facebook. It closed a year ago due to trolls... people like her and erotomaniac women who spammed the forum and trolled other fans seeing them as some kind of threat to their imagined romance with EMINEM... I'm pretty sure EMINEM hates most his fans and ones like that the most.
It used to be a free for all kind of forum where you could post anything you liked in the spirit of EMINEM and free speech, in the end it got overrun by trolls trying to take advantage of that nature and harass other fans etc... spam the forum and basically try and ruin it. In the end even I was requesting it get shut down.
I miss it now though... at least I could edit topics and boot people when it was necessary but in the end it was just a waste of time and the spirit the forum originally had of being a free-for-all just disintergrated into a couple of psycho bitches spamming the forum, other members' profiles and claiming they were EMINEM's true lover and shit like that.
Admin and I could not see eye to eye on how to deal with the rubbish, the forum became an embarassment and it was closed.
you just dropped off my list of people I like for trying to include me in this retard bush-pig's insane jealous trolling
I have nothing to do with that repulsive slag thanks and I liked you because you seemed to be a decent person, if you got that confused and want to lump me in with some retarded obsessed jealous slag who is trying to pick up any guy she could get then forget that
you literally left this forum forver when they took away your rep for green repping me
you wouldn't come back until the gave you back your rep
it was pretty weak, you used to rep me everyday and then stopped because you were afraid they'd take your rep away again
um none of that is true
you're actually retarded enough to believe that sicko bush-pig tard
I mean both of you seem to try really hard to get raped and literally get no takers
I'll suggest it again, perhaps you could both hook up and work through and get over your fucktard obsession with me and fantasies about me getting raped.
Literally none of that is true. I am not the one pming guys telling them I am the hottest woman and begging them to have cam sex with me.
Never claimed to be gang raped, ever.
Never claimed that about my father.
Never had "stories" that change, I DO have retarded bush-pigs with mental disorders like this make shit up about me though.
Posted plenty of proof of my degrees and previous careers.
I live in and pay private rent.
I'm not on drugs nor have ever claimed to be other than smoking pot sometimes.
I get a pm box full of requests for cyber sex and have only ever played with Flag and once with Tim. But I mean shit, I am an adult and I don;t see what the big deal is if I do play with a guy... it's a big deal to a bush-pig who literally spams a forum trying to get cyber-sex though (GulDucat).
WHat kind of utterly pathetic life must you have to think mine is glorified? I hate to think.
Seek professional help. You suffer severe mental problems.
Rootbeer doesn't really care who likes who
but I think to try and lump me with a retarded psychopathetic bush-pig... well it was called for that I told him where to shove it.
um you just said it was you lying sack of retarded fugly flab
and no Flag doesn't even like you.... he's one of my friends
my friends are based on what are decent people, not on who's the biggest fucktard troll who can make up the most retarded rubbish about people they are jealous of online.
like half of the rubbish in your txt spam I've never said I walked dogs for a job
I took that dog I rescued from next door when she went missing for a walk but yeah... is that really someting you're trying to make up to troll me with?
look a bit lame next to the gang rape of fields rubbish don't you think?
Nope. I was hired to run the store one day a week. Didn't last long though, the woman who owns the store is a psycho who is going broke. She fired people before me for eating their lunch behind the counter, fired a vet nurse for "not having enough product knowledge" but she kept hiring new people to run the store because she wanted to go on holiday, meanwhile the store wasn't making much money at all... not even enough to cover wages, she spent all her time on the phone trying to abuse insurance companies and get delivery boys fired etc... she refused to take pets to sell from breeders because she claimed they were "junkies" (wait... maybe she's GulDucat) and basically in the end she couldn't get anyone to run her store for her, even the agency that sent me stopped sending her employers. The woman was a complete headcase. I did her books too everyday, she was in terrible debt and just kept bitching taht she needed peopel to run the store so she could go on holiday... the idiot couldn't even afford to pay anyone without going into more debt and she wanted to go on holiday?
never been a whore, been offered that job twice though, $2,000 base rate a week and a company car then $300 per customer served (prostitution is legal in Australia adn even txed by the government.) Didn't want to do that though.
I taught in a lot of schools for about 4 years
I'm taking a break from teaching... real life and too much responsibility for me right now
I'll go back to it later... when I decide, not when some idiotic jerkoff who draws fairly child like computer pictures says so.
um no
it's a job network for people looking for work
one of literally thousands that offer the same service
never used it
and no professionals do not need to be registered with a job network, they need to be registered with the government for the actual profession, eg, nurses, doctors, police, teachers etc....
there is a website that lists registered teachers, and all teachers currently teaching must be registered there
I was on there the years that I was registered, I did not renew my registration last year but previous years I am on it
not going to show you where that is though... keep looking at job networks idiot.... make sure you go through them all as LinkedIn is not the only job network and certainly not even one I had heard of before.
um okaaaaaaaay
never heard of that, looked at it and it says it is not mandatory
also never been registered with anything like that
you must have been though to think and post about this claiming that people who get psychiatric help must be registered, you link clearly shows that is not even true let alone that I would be on it
you're an idiot
please register with a professional idiot job network or something
um no
I posted plenty of pics of Pete's txt messages and no-one talked me through it
they ranged from insane shit of accusing me of going to the cops, him telling me he had been robbed again, wanting us to get back together, accusing me of having bangs in hotels... all kind of shit that went on all hours, I had hundreds of txts from him
last ones I got were him wanting to get back together that he'd "do anything"... I wasn't even responding anymore after all that rubbish
then a few nights ago I got a txt that read "just letting you know peter quinn min 115877 is in mrc silverwater"... I thought that must be the correctional facility as he had been arrested for selling ice etc... and was out on bail when he was sending me all that rubbish, I looked it up and yep, it is. He's in jail.
um yeah
Flag doesn't really care for acceptance from a few fucktards on obscure forums on the internet
he is playing a game, a pretty harmless game where he makes appearances at forums where his name preceeds him and simply types that he is in the house MUAHAHAHAHAHA! He then sits back and watches spineless sheeple twerps freak out about him, he sits back and watches the fallout from his innocuous post, laughs and just the watches the sheeple mob mentality rise until some twerp who believes any hype other random twerps type in forums bans him. That is a point of satisfaction for Flag. He documents the banning and makes claim over whatever twerp banned him as his biZZZtch or whatever, his notoriety grows and so the cycle continues.
And really the funny thing is, Flag does very little... he posts a couple of catch phrases or posts that are unique in nature to Flag and he just allows the half-wit sheeple to follow each other off a cliff while he sits back and says MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! In this way I iknew about Flag from nearly every poster I encountered around these traps months before I ever found him. It seemed like quite a few forums had "Flag fever" and when I looked into what it was he was doing to get such hype I nearly pissed myself laughing because it was not much he didn't do much and it just preyed on the fact that many members in little community forums are sheeple, all following what each other posts and collectively comming up with some really retard shit they profess as true, he'll stir the pot a little... notice if anyone starts frantically posting about Flag he simply makes a topic claiming he has their "dox" and pretty much posts random shit in there which freaks the troll out (note dp).
What Flag does is an art form. He is like a scientist and you sheeple are like his lab mice, you are a human experiment on group mentality/idiocy.
So yeah... I really don't think he cares for or holds the members at digitalganster in any kind of esteem where he would be seeking approval rather than just shit stirring them effortlessly for fun because no doubt they have heard of Flag before and will start scattering, posting about what is to be done with evil Flag, confirming each other's rubbish and following each other into looking like dickheads until one "hero" steps up and bans the evil Flag.
I joined there to look for juji once, I found a juji but it wasn't our juji I think it was the juji juji stalks, the real juji. It was boring.
Flag will give them excitement in their otherwise brain numbingly dull days. And he will be pleased when he achieves his goal of goading fucktards into making asses of themselves.
I would release everyone except dcent from herpe land
I would then put GulDucat and cody in herpe... bob for a while too until he gets a fucking life and you and maks would be treading on thin ice and would need to get a life pronto, continual topics about me and stuff would have you shoved up the herpe hole with the fucktards who think obsessed fucktard posting about someone 10 times after their every one post is some kind of witty banter. These fucktards would learn how to post about other things and find themselves a life.
decent people who post about stuff will be free
women will be free to return to post in the forum without being smothered in the reek and harassment of a couple of fucktards that reek of depseration and who show us everyday why it is they can't get a real g/f
the day will be saved
in the town I grew up in I stuck out like a sore thumb
that was when I gave a shit what I looked like... well not so much WHAT I looked like but I wanted people to look at me
I loved the double take... walk down the street and someone would breifly look at me, look away for a second then when the image registered in their brain would turn back and look again in shock... it amused me
now days I don;t want anyone to look at me
there was a school uniform
and for some reason not one teacher ever pulled me up for not wearing it
I had a friend who I was standing next to, she was wearing jeans and got called into the pricipal for not wearing uniform, the same teacher just looked at me and walked away without saying a word
that pissed my friend off
but she just wasn't not wearing uniform extremely enough I reckon.
alcohol is a bad thing for me
marijuana is a good thing for me
don;t get me wrong, I could drink any of you under the table
but I'm 5"1 50kg female and it's a fucking mess
hence it being a bad thing
I get super slutty and sexually aggressive... so I do it once in a blue moon to make sure I pick up
otherwise I sit in a dark corner of the bar refusing to make eye contact and generally being very unaproachable
yet 10 beers later and I'm dragging some poor bastard home by the ear
there was no rage
I asked Deso and ruby to unban me
Deso said I called him a faggot 5 hours earlier so wouldn't
ruby said he wouldn't unban me unless I did his podcast
Stomple messaged me on msn to see if I was ok
and then I went and sulked and then I joined steveyos forum and was going to give life to it
and then I saw GulDucat the stupid slag was unbanned and then I saw I had been unbanned
and that was a big day for me
you need to get a fucking life if you think I'm your friend you fucktard
and also YOU need to stop posting about my shit
I mean you'll make up fucking loser shit regardless, you did before I ever posted anything true and I'll post something ONCE then YOU you fucking no-life fucking loser will literally spam it in the forum 200 times
how about YOU fuck off and get a fucking life instead? You are fucking pathetic you fucking loser.
I mean you are literally just some spamming fucking retard with no life who wears belts on his head
all you do is spam retarded shit about other posters ad nauseam for attention
I've got real fighting skills and you are just some fucking unfit retard who posts gifs of killing kittens
I would mop the fucking floor with your ugly head
oh yes your fake friendship designed to piss everyone off which didn't even piss anyone off will leave a gaping hole in my heart
just go post 200 times about how you used to be a mod and ban everyone
that is literally the ONLY thing you post about adnauseam when not spamming the fucking forum about other posters
I can't even be aroused by tim's insane constant hornyness now after seeing cody's dick and killing kittens gifs... just PUKE
I feel violent
stop posting about me you fucking no life loser
get a life, make some actually interesting posts IF YOU CAN (I doubt it) that aren't about me and take your little brigade of 3 fucktard wanker no-life spamming troll posters with you, this ISN'T YTMND and you aren't a fucking loser mod of a long ago dead forum who brags about how he banned everyone anymore, you're just a fucking loser who spams a forum about whatever poster he is obsessed about today for attention. Take your 3 or so brain dead fucking losers with you, go elswhere and take a look at how others manage to make posts about a a wide variety of subjects and not just spam a forum about someone they are obsessed with every fucking day
you boring stupid belt head fuck
it's actually funny until m0nde makes it a retarded bunch of random words that could be anything and then posts it in every topic like he actually thinks it's funny
even I'm amused by the shit I spew, but it takes a total fucking idiot like m0nde to take anything amusing out of my walls of txt and just post some fucking random words rubbish in every topic like he thinks that's clever
dp is not genuine
he literally told me days ago he was going to pretend to be my friend to try and piss everyone off, no-one got pissed off
I have been giving him shit, like all the times he secually harassed OB and stuff I have been doing but a fraction of that to him
then today after I was totally repulsed and pissed off by first having cody spam his cock @ me and then Tim and dp posting gifs of killing kittens I decided dp was a good a person as any to attack
no they do not one minute hold high positive regard and the next not
but things are simply black and white
you are either good or bad and that's all there is to it
and yes they judge themselves as harshly as they judge others
but they are also aware of what they do and not just some clueless fucking loser who is not self aware who walks around trying to slag on others to feel good about themselves like you
they have harsh standards that people either exceed or fail and more often than not they do not feel they meet their own standards and hence they are depressed
if you meet their standards that they judge themselves and others on though they do hold you in high regard
but see the fact is borderline recognise something that most people do not, that people are generally pieces of shit
see another trait of borderline is they generally have above average intelligence but have just experienced enough abuse and shit in their lives to not be a fucking piece of shit snot who thinks they are wonderfull and live in a land of lollypops and rainbows where they are totally self unaware and oblivious and sheltered from what kind of nasty fucked up shit most people in this world are
they have experienced things that literally damage parts of the brain that affect emotions and so do not have experiences of feeling fucking wonderfull about themselves or delsuional thinking that everyone else is fucking wonderfull, most people ARE fucking shit with some rare exceptions
so fuck off
I was nearly 8 when I was raped Im nearly 41 now and that nasty man is still out there. My Mom knew him years ago when she was smaller, she was out one night with herfriend when they bumped into each other they hadnt seen each other in about 20 years. So they kept in touch then he started coming up to our house, it was just me and my Mom that live here, he seemed so nice and after a while I started to trust him, he was coming up for about a month or so before this one day he came up early in the morning and said to my Mom " I was thinking we could all go down and see a few of the old friends I was telling them I met you and your daughter and they said they cant wait to meet you both".. So my Mom said to me " what you think hon"?.. So I said " Yeah okay Mom".. and I remember asking could I bring a few cds for the trip and he said " yes sure" ... He was drinking Vodka as he was driving down, I was wearing jeans but I had to cut them into shorts when we got to his house after the nasty man ripped them messing, so i was sitting in their friends house, my Mom was sitting on the chair her friend was sitting on my right hand side and my rapist ( Moms old friend) was sitting on my left hand side, We were all sitting having a laugh and chatting, when the rapist spilt his drink over me, he didnt mean to i dont think, but it happened so i went to the bathroom to get tissue to dry it all up and he followed into the bathroom to help me dry up, and for the first time i felt really weird around him, he had tissue in his hand and was drying my leg, when he suddenely stopped, his hand still on my leg and looked at me and the look he gave me was like he was looking through me but at the same time un-dressing me with his eyes, it went on for about 20seconds, untill i ran back out to my Mom and other friend, we were there for about another hour, then we got into my rapist jeep to come back to my house.. So we were sitting back at my house, me my Mom and my rapist, when my Moms friend rang her and asked her if she wanted to go out, so my Mom said she wanted to see if she could get someone to sit with me, so my rapist turned around and said " I will sit with her untill you come home ".. So I helped my Mom get ready to go out, so when she was ready she went to meet her friend that rang.. So me and my rapist were sitting in my sitting room talking and listening to music, about an hour after my Mom went out I said to my rapist " Im going into my room to put my pjs on I will be back in a second " (as i was cold as i still had jeans cut into shorts on)... So I was in my room putting on a pair of pj bottoms so I was sitting on my bed and had one leg in my pj bottoms when my rapist walked into my room I said what are you doing get out i will be out in a minute, but he just looked at me walked more in and sat on the bed beside me, so i said it again what are you doing??
And he turned for a kiss, I gave him a kiss on the cheek thinking maybe he was just looking for a kiss good night, but as i gave him a kiss on the cheek he turned and kissed my lips i tried to pust him away, but he pushed me onto the bed and forced his whole body weight onto me, and kept kissing my closed mouth, every time he stopped kissing my closed mouth i would cry please no please just stop get off me, as his hands ran all over my body, i had one leg in my pj bottoms and one leg out, i wa trying to push im off me but he just wouldnt budge. his hands were pushing my two legs apart and started to to take my bottoms off my geg and hands inside my underwear and pulling them down, You can guess the rest.... After he was finished with me he put his jeans back on and walked into my sitting room sat and finished his drink, i was sitting inmy bed thinking what is he goi to do next is he going to kill me, whats he going to do... i put jeans shorts on and i was so so sore down there, i walked to my sitting room door and he was putting his jacket on and he said to me " Iv been in prision once before ad its not a nice place i dont want to be there again "... and even if you told anyone they wouldnt belive you, and if you told anyone id kill your family. so it took me 8 weeks before i told anyone as i thought i was pregnant as i didnt get my periods in 7wks, then I had an abortion
no well someone did call the police
they were trying to call me all night and my phone was turned off because peter had been calling me non stop day and night for 3 days straight and when I didn't answer they turned up knocking on my door at like 5am or something and said someone from, can't remember where now they said New jersey or some other american city e-mailed them saying I was going to kill myself and I said that I made some post in a forum about how I was really sick of everything, they were worried because I didn't answer my phone when they tried to ring, they wanted to take me to hospital, I didn't want to go but they said they had to because I had to speak to a doctor, the female cop said they didn't really want to either but I had to so I went to the hospital, had to ait there for 2 hours waiting for a doctor, the police weren't even allowed to leave until I had seen a doctor which meant they could attend any other calls they were getting such as car accidents, I was pissed off at this, the nurses were pissed off and the police were pissed off as none of us even wanted to go the hospital in the first place to wait for a doctor but had to because of the police regulations... so the doctor came, spoke to me for a couple of seconds, said the police could go and that I could go after a urine test... I took the urine test and waited for like another hour then a doctor walked in the little room I was waiting in and literally said, "by the way you're possibly pregnant." and then walked out... literally just like that... so I sat there in shock for a bit then had to start ringing around trying to find someone to come get me to drive me home because my car was at home as the police had taken me and the hospital is in another town an hour away... so I got the lift home and then made a doctor's appointment and booked an abortion. And that's it.
As for the rest no none of it true, I wasn't taken to mental hospital, I don't now nor have I ever lived with a grandfather and everything else cody is saying the police told him is a lie, none of it has ever happened.... I haven't really read it but from what I've glimpsed from quotes of dp's little buddy chats with cody um it's just retarded and no.
You need to get lives.
I don't know what the fuck you are, I thought we were friends at some point now I have no idea what the fuck you do, posting obese cp in your sig, carrying on with Lisa's Babysitter shit... I don't know what the fuck you are and I don't really care anymore
Look I was here to fuck around and play online with some people I liked but more and more this forum and some of the people... yeah look I don't know how old you people are, I'm certainly not the oldest but I feel like I'm posting with a small handful of 13 year old losers and seriously, I'm 34, I don't know how old you all think you are but you clearly don't even think you're adults, I came here for some adult banter, not this pathetic lame shit I see all over the forum.
And you know you were so caught up about yourself being an actual person that I guess I was just chopped liver to you. Like WTF is that? YOU'RE an actual person huh? And what is it you thought I was? Oh yeah I'm some inhuman witch who has no feelings but who you wanted to fuck. Go to hell.
I don't know what the fuck this is
we were friends one minute, you wanted to meet me, I said I wanted to meet you but I didn't know how it would be that I couldn't make any promises which is pretty fucking reasonable seeing as I don't even know you very well and I wanted to take time to just chill before either of us goes galavanting to other side of the planet spending a couple of thousand dollars to go to another country by ourselves to meet someone that we don't actually know that well.. I thought we were friends, yes excuse me for being a person and not just a god damn vagina... I thought we could just see how things go before jumping on a fucking plane, you know, you might have even wanted to actually chat on mic or cam when I asked one day and stuff like that instead of things being normal and then all of a sudden one day you say very adamantly that you want to meet me, I say yeah I want to meet you too then like the very next day, the next time you come online you want to know what I'm feeling honestly and I tell you and then you fucking flip out on me, say you don;t want to be my friend, start making topics that the total piece of shit psycho michael fucking spams for pages on end with his fucking psycho rubbish and from my end this is what happened and I'm like WTF and also UNLIKE FUCKING LOSERS HERE KEEP SAYING I DO HAVE FEELINGS and you're fucking hurting them and I don't know why, I don't know what I did to any of you and the only explanation I have is that ALL people are nasty fucked up in the head pieces of shit, I can't even be nice to people without them throwing it back in my face like I've done something wrong, it doesn't matter what I do, whether I'm fucking everything up or actually trying to interact with people but my head is done in now because I don't fucking understand what I've done to you or anyone.
You've made it perfectly clear that you do not want to be my friend, I don't know what you think I've done but I'm beat ok? There is literally nothing I can do about anything. I've got the cat and the voices in my head, they're still my friends. Don't think I didn't cry about you though. Do you feel better now that you know I'm upset and you can join in with these other p....people in posting about what a horrible witch I am who did you wrong.
and you made these topics so I've got something else to say while you stay shutted the fuck up
Don't you dare fucking act like you've been strung along and that you had feelings for me that I betrayed THAT IS BULLSHIT
here is it what it boiled down to for you, you were torn between wanting to fuck me and wanting to be in with your 'internet friends' and when it was all layed out on the line the wanting to be in with your 'internet friends' again won and so you sought license to be a total fucking souless prick to me. That's all that happened so shove it up your ass and don;t even bother trying to act like you're the nice guy here and that I mysteriously betrayed you after leading you on or whatever such bullshit because that ois not what happened. What happened is as simple as I just said.
NOW I am done, lest you want to push it and see if I really bite.
*wipes ass with topic and leaves*
already had a felony check as my name is on an appartment Rootbeer and I are getting and he's bought a second tv that was too big to fit in his car for it and it has a jacuzzi the man has his shit together and is spoiling me rotten, and I love how mad that makes you
also because there aren't many guys who are as genuinely good, caring, funny and just fucking cool as my ruttyburr
I also delete people for not playing any games with me not just for being fuckheads eg. reno is a sweety but he never played dota with me so I had to delete him jon said something mean about me being a feamle and playing payday 2 and never played with me so I had to delete him and you sid, who is even worse at dota than me who's played it for like a total of 5 hours, were just a total fuckhead so I had to delete you. There are some pretty strict rules about being on my steam list, I currently have 2 people on my steam, Rootbeer and Garfield (Garfield has never played a game with me but I don't see him sitting there playing games without me all the time and he's just fun to talk to anyway and does actually talk to me. but at the end of day I don't want to play with you sid because you're a two faced total fuckhead.
I'm a much better person.
I'm more intelligent.
I spent all my 20's getting 2 university degrees and teaching etc... not stripping then selling drinks, I worked hard to have options
I'm simply not a vapid nasty, moronic pile of shit.
I don't put on 10 layers of make-up, and fake eyelashes just to go on tinychat
I don't follow some woman I am jealous of on the internet through 3 forums for 2 years posting nothing but "lisa's vagina lmao"
I have depth I have substance I'm a stronger person and overcome more I'm more genuine I mean seriously I could do this all day
look even if you made the bad sort list at least I acknowledged you which is more than I do for a handful of posters who are basically only "background" posters simply because I don't even acknowledge their existence acknowledging you exist is really the nicest thing that could even be said about you as there are no redeeming qualities to you at all if it wasn't for that generous existentialism you'd be no-one
Sorry that your mum died and these people are fucking losers but I hardly see the relevence to me, sorry that you ever thought this was group therapy but I have always been aware that this is in facta troll forum. I just think the level of trolling in this forum, is weak and what they troll about shows a pathetic weakness and poor intelligence of the actual trolls here... it's like if I took two of literally THE most pathetic and dumbest trolls the EMINEM forum ever saw in my 11 years there, times their number by 10 and then told them, "hey you guys are really cool and funny" and stuck them all in some obscure forum on the internet then that is basically all this forum is... with the exception of a couple of decent people.
and now to your fucktard points that say more about you than they do me.....
1. I'm not even on grass you fucking moron, but I certainly do plan on smoking pot again in the future, why? Because while some people enjoy a glass of wine I enjoy a nice chilled out joint. That really has nothing to do with anything. The fact that YOU have had drug problems does not mean everyone else does. You are aware of the fact that I partake in marijuana... stop trying to project your pathetic drug addictions onto me, not MY problem.
2. No. Stop being fucking sexist, I have exactly the same bloodlust as any male, in case you haven't realised women also have eyes on the front of their skull... do you know what kind of animal has eyes on the front of their skull as opposed to on the side of their skull bob? Stop thinking that my sexuality has anything to do with being raped, that's pretty fucking small minded and stupid.
3. aside from the fact that I have had plenty of therapy why would I need therapy because of fucktard posts made by other demented posters who are obsessed about raping little kids?
I think they are the ones who need therapy
it's been explained to me that m0nde is socially retarded so I'm going to explain this to you m0nde what you have been posting in the past couple of weeks is disrepectfull, nasty and fucktarded I (this aside) do not post shit about you, Rootbeer does not post shit about you yet you think you could post all the fucktarded rubbish you have been posting in the past 2 weeks and still be friends with the people you have been a totalfucking loser to who actually NEVER did anything to you, never posted fucktarded stuff about you. So I'm explaining this to you because you are a social retard and may not understand that is what, why and how that happened. HAve a nice day.
first of all I will be in that country second of all when he makes his next false police report it will come up and he will be charged and 3rd of all it also stands for him doing that through a 3rd party
Don't bother commenting unless you actually know what I was talking about retard, it was not about him making posts ina forum you dumb shit, it was him continually making false police reports about people as a form of harassment/stalking. Idiot.
cody is the one who calls the police about posts people make in a forum dipshit, not me or anyone else I am simply talking about putting a restraining order on him so the next time he tries to make a false police report that restraining order will come up and he will be charged.
ok I looked at that gif of faye reagan and while it kind of freaks me out and makes me worried and want to go look right up my vagina to see if I have that (I don't think I do) but I don't think that is genital warts, I think that is some kind of benign whatever maks said
m0nde I have been offered a gun as gift a couple of times I collect bullets like people collect stamps GTFO
walked in just as the phone was texting me about a voice mail
"Hi Lisa, child pornography child pornography child pornography child pornography child pornography child pornography call me" or some shit like that things couldn't have gotten worse he continued to call me, the cat threw up on the rug and I stepped in it and then I threw up while trying to clean it
true but he doesn't get mad when I talk to other guys...ok maybe he does a little but in this instance I did not have much recourse about it. Now I used to enjoy spending hours playing with teknorat but Rootbeer explained the picture that he posted in my forum and frankly while I did talk to teknorat about that before I played a game with him (and he assured me he wasn't a pedophile and he sounded really sad that I didn't talk to him anymore) when it came time to defend his actions I simply couldn't.
1. I do not want to upset Rootbeer, a guy who has never done anything wrong to me at all, has never been anything but the best guy I've ever met to me.
2. I didn't make teknorat's decision to do the things he did and I can't really defend it, he made his own bed, he's a big boy.
And so begrudgingly I can't play bordelands 2 with a guy I used to really enjoy playing with and I'm pissed off about it but at the end of the day the only person I can be pissed off about it for is teknorat because he did all the shit that made it impossible to excuse his behavior to anyone else half-way decent. >:( Am pissed off, bye.
seriously someone just get rid of that Madeline Hack ugly retard. For YEARS this erotomaniac bush pig has stalked me on the internet, I told you day one when it turned up here where it was from and exactly what it (that thing is not human, an ape yes but human no) is. makes me miss EMINEM.COM that at least knew a retarded piece of shit when it saw one. it couldn't be more *YAWNY* waiting for people slow on the uptake to get a clue
oh really?
1. I'm not a fucking lizard, maks brought me here 2 fucking years ago
2. You look after 2 fucktard lizards who I told you from day one are stalkers of mine and who literally do nothing but post about me, cag and ufotard, I could not have given you anymore of a heads up on either of those
3. You want to pander to the fucktard dp who literally does nothing here except whinge constantly and make non stop posts about me
4. You have already had half a dozen good decent posters who were sick of these couple of losers who do nothing but come here and make posts about me because they are actually that much of a loser and that uninteresting LEAVE
5. I don;t give a fuck about dp, he can whinge and make his 200 posts a day about me but don;t you fucking blame me for it, if he's a moronic fuckhead it's certainly not my fault.
6. You can damn well herp that ufotard stalker who is posting people's whole families facebooks in every topic and if you want to pander to this tedious fucking boring demented loser who literally does nothing other than make 200 posts about me a day I am leaving and I am taking a couple of other posters who actually post other shit here with me.
It's too fucking tedious and you need to take care of it and stop nbeing such a god damn tool that you would blame me for what a couple of other fucking losers, 2 of which I told you from day are stalkers and do nothing but post about it, and I don;t even like them, you are the one keeping them here, do
So you can make a good faith action and put that ufotard where it belongs or you're not seeing anything to do with me play out and I'm taking a couple of others with me leaving you with basically 3 fucking obsessed bushpigs making 200 posts about me a day.
oh really?
1. I'm not a fucking lizard, maks brought me here 2 fucking years ago
2. You look after 2 fucktard lizards who I told you from day one are stalkers of mine and who literally do nothing but post about me, cag and ufotard, I could not have given you anymore of a heads up on either of those
3. You want to pander to the fucktard dp who literally does nothing here except whinge constantly and make non stop posts about me
4. You have already had half a dozen good decent posters who were sick of these couple of losers who do nothing but come here and make posts about me because they are actually that much of a loser and that uninteresting LEAVE
oh and they didn;t leave because of me, I still talk to half of them on steam, skpe or snapchat, they left, like they all told you god knows how many times, they were literally sick of dp and cag posting about me all day, not sick OF ME, sick of a couple of fucking losers like that filling the forum with this fucking shit.
5. I don;t give a fuck about dp, he can whinge and make his 200 posts a day about me but don;t you fucking blame me for it, if he's a moronic fuckhead it's certainly not my fault. This is all he posts whether I'm here or not but yes one o0f every 200 of his posts are fucking funny which you are really going to need when everyone else other than these 3 losers are left here making 200 posts about me a day, it should really break things up and stop them being tedious then (SARCASM ALERT SO THE ASPIE KNOWS WHAT IS SARCASM AND WHAT ISN'T)
6. You can damn well herp that ufotard stalker who is posting people's whole families facebooks in every topic and if you want to pander to this tedious fucking boring demented loser who literally does nothing other than make 200 posts about me a day I am leaving and I am taking a couple of other posters who actually post other shit here with me.
It's too fucking tedious and you need to take care of it and stop nbeing such a god damn tool that you would blame me for what a couple of other fucking losers, 2 of which I told you from day are stalkers and do nothing but post about it, and I don;t even like them, you are the one keeping them here, do
So you can make a good faith action and put that ufotard where it belongs or you're not seeing anything to do with me play out and I'm taking a couple of others with me leaving you with basically 3 fucking obsessed bushpigs making 200 posts about me a day.
1. Rootbeer will be here within 2 days
2. teknorat will not be let in to my place on thursday
3. m0nde you will now be removed my steam, Rootbeer's steam, his facebook and any other way possible
hope that clears things up for you losers
I still get letters from that psycho in jail by the way, last one had a big letter addressed to this forum, but I think I'm done giving any of you losers attention, you won;t be seeing it
Frankly I got too many loser stalkers here so I'm taking Rootbeer and you're not going to hear from us again.
Have fun with your epic troll losers!
I like how I have not said one bad thing about Sherman and believe me there is a whole lot of shit I could be saying. How out of respect for him I have kept my mouth shut but it didn't matter because he was talking shit about me to everyone.
Apparently I'm a fat bitch who's taking all his money and talking to teknorat all day.
I didn;t drive and go pick him up from the airport and have him stay at my house for over 2 weeks while he acted like a total jerk to me.
I was very clear about everything before he came, but first of all he wanted me to go there , he got an apartment even though I told him noyt to get an apartmemnt for me, he did anyway (he now hangs this over my head, all this shit I told him not to do that he decided not to listen to a word I said and do what he wanted anyway, I mean what are my feelings in all this anyway huh? Surely only Rootbeer has feelings here.... so after organising all of that he turned around and decided, no, that he was comming straight here with 2 days notice, yet I was very clear, he was comming to visit and MEET me, stay a couple of weeks and then go home and we'd go from there, But he came here and started telling me he wasn't going to leave, trying to pay for everything and give me money, give me diamonds when I told him 20 times I didn;t want anything big, I literally haven't spoken to anyone else the whole time he has been here, the couple of times teknrorat has messaged me rootbeer has jumped all over and all over me, he has literally answered my phone when it rang and screamed abuse, he answers the only messages I get from anypone, I'm not kidding, I literallky go hang out the washing or something and he jumps up and goes read my messages, none of which I was hiding anyway but he is well out of line to be doing that anyway. I have been 100% honest with him. I have wanted to say a LOT of shit about him, about how much of a psycho jerk he is actually being and I haven't out of respect yet there he is telling everyone I'm a fat bitch using him for his money. I have told him twice now this isn;t working. I have bent over backwards to take care of him but his bullshit is too much.... in the middle of the night when he gets up and decides it's bullshit hour where he makes up all kind shit I actually have never said to him, craps on about teknorat, some guy who I haven't even met FFS and cries at me... and this is every fucking day. Want to talk about somnething at a reasonable hour? Nope sorry. He doesn't want to talk about it now, only at 2am when you are just trying to go to sleep. I tell him I need space, I don;t get it. He is not here now he has gone to a hotel for a night and I can have what is basically the only time I've had to myself since he got here.
You're all fucking idiots if you think ANYONE would look after someone better than I have while putting up with this shit. Give me a fucking break, if I was a real bitch he would have been out on his ear within the first couple of nights he did that shit and NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. Instead I have been here to drive him wherever the fuck he wants, do whatever the fuck he wants, make sure he has everything he needs and basically just not leave him up shit creek.
So all of you can go fuck yourselves, every last one of you.
Ruby I hope maks, cody, m0nde and dp really enjoy your next podcast, I hope they think you're cool LOL
Im sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, Im REALLY deeply sorry.
I've had some retardation mental phases that couldn't control myself, since i registered was the worst experience in forum some months history. I've insulted to the most important members like maks, sex with dead people, barry, jon, camoron, ascii_genitals, etc... Words cannot express how truly sorry im for the anxiety, frustration and inconvenience that i caused.
This is especially saddening because i was founded on the promise of bringing fun social back to the internet and making the experience of posting happier and easier for everyone who chooses to laugh with us. I know i failed to get accepted on this forum.
You deserved better a lot than me. Nothing is more important than regaining your trust and all of us here hope you will give us the opportunity to welcome.
I'm going to reveal the truth about my rape history.
My father emotionally, physically and sexually abused me. I moved out at the age of sixteen, hoping to escape all the pain, only to find out that it would follow me. My psyche and boundaries were very damaged and I did not realize that because of my upbringing and appearance I attracted sexual predators.
After dating at age twenty-one, I discovered my boyfriend was a porn addict. So great was his sexual perversity and infidelity that I was at a loss to know what to do to save my relationship. Finally, after five years of relationship, i broke up and im still lonely...
He took a keen interest in me that made me feel special. I really thought he cared and wanted to help me. His acts of kindness convinced me that I had found a father figure I could trust and who would help me forget my relationship and work through my past abuse.
We got to the hotel room and to my surprise he had a key and opened the door. He went inside and I followed. Once inside he began kissing me. Shocked and terribly confused, I pushed him away and told him I didn't understand. He said he was in love with me and had been waiting to tell me. He told me he thought I was the most beautiful woman he ever had seen and that he wanted to make love to me.
I was stunned. I told him I could not do that as I was convinced and did not have the same feelings towards him. This seemed to make him angry and he became more forceful. Why I did not run out of the room I am not sure. Part of me felt immobilized. I felt obligated to stay and talk him down. After all I did not want to hurt his feelings!
I kept physically fighting him off and telling him that though I respected him as my pastor and as a father figure I wanted him to stop. He pushed me, tore my clothes and raped me. The ugly event seemed to last forever. It was as if I mentally checked out. I remember that it hurt, that I was crying and that he was calling me names like whore and slut and saying many derogatory things about me. As he was violating me there was a knock on the door. Apparently he had this whole thing planned and had invited others to join him. He let four strangers into the room, who all took their turn raping me. They raped me both anally and vaginally. The pain was incredible as they were very rough and forceful. After what seemed like forever I blacked out. I remember the pastor shaking me hard and slapping me across the face.
One of the most disturbing things that happened that night is that I had an orgasm. Despite years of relationship, it was my first orgasm ever. It really`confused me. I thought some part of me must be mentally sick to have experienced the pleasure of an orgasm during this horrific trauma. My only conclusion was that there was something terribly perverted and wrong with me. That's all.
see while I'm high I figured I'd just sort out all you fucking trolls and shit, give you all your character appraisals because really you are fucking fuckheads and some other people I'm not apraising much are nice I like people when they aren't fuckheads for the most part and I get it some of you are fucked in the nhead fucking demented desperate to be fucking psychopaths or something like serious have ever read your shit some of you are bum fuck fucking retarded man but you know if you aren't a fuckhead then I like you so sue me for being like that like don't make shit up about me like you're fucking retarded like serious some of you are fucking brain damaged not like just insane or something but like actually fucking brain damaged or some shit and yes I'm insane and high right now and oh wow who else was I going to tralk about? no-one really I don't care about most of you I'm here and I'm a bit more than fucking queer you know I really like juji lately we've been mates again like before and when I was with rootbeer you know I like elz he's cool when he's my mate and I I like Tim lately like seriously he's fucking cute and funny and yeah you're hot tim and don't be too up yourself but you you're young and can get a way hotter younger better girl than me especially if you move out of your parents house you will grow up heaps and then you'll have a hot girlfriend then, and I'd take advantage of you being young and haorny all the time but yeah when you get a bit less sheltered you can get a nice clean young hot chick who isn't an insane 35 year old woman which can't even meet you half way to where you're going in life and yeah would totally fuck but lol seriously you don't need me to fuck, you're cool you can be a jerk whenever you want and go fuck whoever you want, you're bipolar or something I think but yay Tim, I'm in Tim camp ok, i might just forum fan you because you've nice to me lately and it's been so fucking cute Tim like little forum crush fucking cute made me want to fucking eat you and stuff and you know ruby when he isn't acting like a spastic 13 year old trying to be a fuckhead he's actually really cool and he's heaps nicer than he tries to be, don't know why he tries to be a fuckhead I think to try and show off and look big to teknorat who is like a psycho and seriously like a fucking 13 year old too but they are both pretty smart and funny but ruby's actually a better person than teknorat, teknorat is just fucking brain damged like his dad hit him in the frontal lobes too much he's a psychopath with enouygh intellignce for it to fucking affect you when he's trying to have an emotiuon to like getting all hanibal lecture psychology on your ass but it's just because he's retarded with feelings, like you know I'm emotionally retarded too but I yeah he's developmentally stunted in some fucking way but again pretty fucking smart so not a triffle. basically more dangerous than cody because he has a brain but yeah he's a just a bit of a fuckhead sometimes like a total fucking fuckhead sometimes deliberately just because he's a fuckhead but he actually likes me and I think he gets brain damage about that because yeah he's smart but not as smart as me and to be honest he is my friend like I like him even though he just a fuckwit sometimes just to try and really fuck with people because he gets off a bit at it because he's retarded like that he's just yeah psychopath but honestly that can't affect me that much because I am already fucking insane and damaged like honestly he couldn't do anything worse to me than some others did and I'm just well I am actually smarter than him but he probably doesn't think I am lol but that's because he isn't quite as smart as me but I mean I'm insane and emotionally retarded but eh like he probably has an IQ in the 130's maybe a bit more so he smart enough to know most people are really fucking stupid like seriously average intellignce is pretty fucking dumb, like they can be awesome people and good people and stuff but most peopke are what to some people just generally not as smart, doesn't mean anything just is, like people are just nicer people or nicer people or funnier people and some people have tallent and all that like and there are some fucking horrible fucking people yeah but you know they ARE fucking retarded, like they ARE fucking missing a bit between the ears and you know, well aside from marco, he pretty fucking dumb his IQ is like 90 or a fair choo bellow average that's for sure and yeah wendy can be amusing sometimes just because she says random fucking funny shit shit, like it's shit but yeah can be funny but yeah no fucking genius there but probably most of the rest of you even demented ones are above average intellignce, even cag maybe but maybe dp is the smartest in some way but it's only in some way because he's fucvking dislexic or something but OMG I am so bored of thinking about you troll but yeah ruby is smart and funny and pretty nice but autistsic and pretty immature when you're an old hag like me teknorat yeah whatever I can deal with teknorat because he's actually just honest about how sick he is in the head like yeah he's not a sociopath trying to convince people he's something he's not because sociopaths are just liars, and you I fucking hate liars they are such losers but psychopaths are just fucking psychopaths they honestly don't care what anyone thinks but he likes me that's why he likes to try and play with me and be a fuckhead and he likes cag too you know he's just so fucking emotionally immature he doesn't know how to process that he just likes someone especially the opposite sex it makes him feel vulnerable and you know he's not a female, he's male to start with and he's a psychopath but yeah that doesn't mean he's the worst kind of person you'll ever meet by far like seriously being a psycho path doesn't mean you're bad and he's actually a pretty good one but like I knew he was from the start and cag is sociopath but she's not smarter than teknorat she had no fucking clue man she was busy deluding herself that he was just another fucking toy because most guys are so easily just a toy for cag because most guys are actually not that bright, like seriously and especially some of you younger more sheltered ones but yeah she just didn't that one comming and the thing is sociopaths actually care a LOT what other people think of them, like more than most people but they seriously fucking care about shit that someone like me who you know I actually don;t care what other people think of me I'm maybe a bit up myself in the way that I just care what I think of people, I seriously only care if I like someone or not and like I'm not actually a social retard because I've been tested but I have a personality type and I just don;t follow people, I love learning stuff from smart people I like but what anyone thinks of me I don;t care because actually the people that even have opinions on me well look I'm just actually pretty aware and confrontimngly honest about if I actually like someone or not and how at such a disenchanted social level it's all about, I don;t kn ow but I'm just honest about the fact if I want someone to do something for me like I don't actually bother manipulating people I'll just say what I want from them without all that fucking pleasantries or even manners I guess because honestly I am a judgemental person that is in my personality type I am always judging things I take in a lot of information and then make an actual judgement and you know some people aren't judgemental but I am pretty fucking self aware that I am and the judgements I make on on people look there are very few genuinely just good hearted nice people you know and you know there are some but honestly we are all self serving even the good ones but it's just that because they are actually like good, like there is a goodness intelligence you know because it actually takes a lot of fucking intellignce of some sort to be a good person because most people haven't got that level of intellignce where they fully just understand that all that matters is to actually be good and I'm not actually as far as being a good person goes that goodness intelligent but like I'm just not as smafrt as the really good people because I'm just actually bitter and not as in control of my thought processes and just not as an actually good person, you know but the thing is there is NOT a lot of actually good people like they are rare and they will always fucking be good and have enough self awesness and goodness intellignce to have that goodness but holy shit you know 99% of us are not that good, some people are just fucking bad you know and you know that isn not as intelligent no matter how good you are at math and I don't mean if you are a psycho path because you know a good psychopath is like so fucking googness intelligfence like you know there are psychopaths that use their psychoipathness to just do fucking good shit that I'm not good enough to do like I literally do not have the goodness intellignce for it but you know what I am actually more goodness intelligent than MOST people like not goodness genius I'm in that 20% of people who actually have the goodness trait you know, like it's because of I really will step in and help someone and put myself at risk at risk and sacrifuce even my life to do the right thing and help someone because I couldn't live with myself otherwise like it's the fact that actually 80% of people are not actually good at all you know, like they are actually bad people, they might be successsfull and be able to deal with people really well but they really are just seriously allin for themselves and they put themselves first you know I mean it's a part of nature and it's actually better survival wise which is why MOST people are actually like that, they end up being healthier, don't end up getting injured and they just can prosper better because you know dog eat dog but yjey will at other's expense and yeah like I totally take what I can too but I also will sacrife more than most people but yeah not like as much as some, like I fully know how selfish I am and 1st world too and I'm just not actually giving enough to really go out of my way to spend my energry and resources when I actually could you know, if I wasn't actually as self centered as I am I would go teach and look after kids in a 3rd world because I'm actually intelligent enough and fucking spoiled enough with lucky country 1st world oprtunity educated enough to actually be able to help you know but I'm just goodness intelligent enough Like I am selfish but like I'm self aware of that, like I know people who aren't fucking stupid who actually are smart enough to know that yeah I'm fucking smart and yeah I could actually be doing something that heklps out society and everyone else more and I'm just not doing that right now because yeah I am selfish enough to just not fucking do it and I know the ones that are smart enopugh and yous know who you are because we are like fuckingt aliens when the cast majority oif the entire population is actually just, well they are just simpler fucking creatures so yous know who you are and yeah I fucking hear ya you hate me because you're onto me yeah I'm fucking smart and couple actually go make a lot of money on the stock market and be more usefull to you because yeah I know you are one of the fucking smart ones too and are actually being bothered enough to work but that's my selfishness I'm just not that alturistic, you know there really is no fucking point shit just is what it is, I'm fuckiung a long way from being perfect or perfect good or thge most all rounded successfull person, yeah I'm just really fucking highly intellient in one partuclar way like just as in pure intelligtnce but like we aren't even close to be able to categorise all the different intellignces and just in another way I am emotionally stunted and technically you know I'm my emotional intellignce is like technically retarded like you know I've been tested and shit and my emotional intellignce is that oif a teenager so like yeah I can help you with a really fucking hard some but I just do have the capacity to process emotions or understand them in any intellignet way like and emotional intelligence is just SO important for being able to function interpersonally and it's not that I don;t have feelings I do but I that part of my brain you know it just doesn't process the emotion and move on so I can tend to feel a certain feeling for longer than let's say someone with an average emotional intellignce and you know people with high emotional intellignce are just particulary gifted with dealing with interpersonally because they'll always have an apropiate emotion for an apropiate amount and they capaicaty and intellignce for that just allows them to process that and there fore just function whereas most of us know because for the most part most of us rembere being really you know really fucking uypset about something because something awfull has happened and you know most of have emotions and think back more when you were younger before your brain had fully developed and unless you were a psycvhopath who had a damaged part of that which actually has it's uses you know because psychopaths, good ones who who have goodness intelligence are actually just capable to do all that good shit that frankly most people are just not equipped to do you know shit that actually hold the fabric of society together, saving lives, just doing that amazing shit that most of you could never fucking do you know, but yeah most of us remember before that emotional part of yoyur brain had fully developed that you know are kind of helpless emotionally when you just aren't evcen physically capable of processes an emotion it actually is so overwhealming that you know it's all oervasive, it affects your intellignce, like you can't fucking do a maths sum or think in any way usefull when you are actually feeling an emotion and so yeah I'm just a bit more fucking stupid and incapable of mentally of processing emotions in an ideally healthy brain that has like fully functioning emotions, like yeah I think my frontal lobes are obviously damaged but I I do have emotions and I'm actually hypersensitive with emotional empathy like I am affected by emotions more, well more like kids are so some things epset me more than most people and the emotion just isn't processed in a emotionally intelligenet way because you know brain damge, my brain is not perfect but some poarts of it work than yours so shut up we're all different but yeah so like yeah and emotions are not as elctrical based as more chemical based so yeah it's just makes it when things that would upset some people well actually they make me insane as in actually chemically my brain just, well I you know what I think s0ome of the chemicals in emtions can actually shut off areas of your brain you know cause electrical activity and firing of neurons to shut off in certain areas of your brain which is actually happening all the time in a our brains and like if the uptake part of the brain that processes emotions that released and reabsorbs chemicals which basically is just what an emotion is just like a biochemical reaction see if like trauma and I've had trauma and it would be good to be a psychopath because they can't really get tramatised because emotional chemicals aren't even affectimg their brain to the point where what what would traumatise someone who isn't a psychopath doesn't actually traumatise a psychopath like seriously because they don';t produce anywhere near enough of these chemical biochemically for it to actually affe ct their brain much which may or may not be working perfectly fine depending on the person because yeah some psychopaths are fucking brain damages because there are like every fuckingcombination of people and things and damages of brain or super healthy and developed parts of the brains that's why everyone is different but like because probably because the uptake part of the brain that processes the emotions and reabsobs the chemicals is kind of damaged because of trauma when the brain was still dveloping it doesn't reabsorbe very quickly because like those receptors or uptake whatever things in the brain are just not biug fully developed so like the chemicals stay longer causing me to feel an emotion for longer than someone who has developed that pafrt of tehir fully and because those chemicals affect your brain in such a way as they can shut down certain electrictrical actvivty in some parts of brain like memory and just like fully your reasonaing and frontal lobes like if something that emotionally is very strong for me it actually causes me to go insane, it affect my shoirt turn memory which likes gets switched off so actually you know when something really emotional happens you know you just well you feel that shit you know and then those of you who have a fully dveloped uptake inhibitors or whatever well you are biochemically affected, you feel the apropiate emotion and then those chemicals are reabsorbed in an apropiate amount of time and you know you can't function and are kind of not thinking properly when you are having a emotion but it does what it does and I guess because the chemicals are be reabsorbed as much as they are released you are able to feel a feeling have some parts of your brain blocked because yeah biochemical and that what an emotion is otherwise you're brain wouldn;t even be your brain if it didn't change and shit so while you can feel a feel a feeling and move an to another feeling and the parts of your brain that were deactivated during the emotion are ractivated and amother certain chemical mix is released i nto your brain causing you to feel another emotion and so on, it just takes me a lot longer to reabsorb the chemicals being released and this is how an "episode" as I say it happens, I have produced a chemical in my brain that causes an nemotion I mean this is how we are even aware of shit going in in our enviroment and shit but because I have like like developmentally stunted uptake inhibitors which are like a baby dick when most adults have a full grown dick uptake inhibitors so my little freak tard retarded ones don't reabsorb the chemicals and process them intellignetly and parts of my brain remain blocked off, so let's something happens that would you know emotionally devestae someone for a couple of hours, that same state will last in me for like two weeks depending on the severity of the emotion and so like those parts of your brain that are shut off temporily for you when feeling an emotion are shut off for me for like days or even weeks or like howver long all depending on just how fast those chemicals are reabsorbed and that makes me like well not functionally sane, I won't necessarily understand who people and things are even if I am familiar with them, like my brain is just not working properly and you know then the electrical impulses run through well different pathways that like just don't work they way they usually do so like simple things can get confused or bunched up like for example thinking my cat was my mum, like it's hard to explain because I knew my cat was jazz and a cat and was not my mum but my brain was just mixing it up so like that my cat was my mum, they were they were not separted in whatever normally lets my brain distinguishthem complety as as separate like my brain was just recognising them, not phsycially but just like who they were in the same spot because I guess the pafrt that usually can fire off in different way that in some ways distinguished them for they are uniquely was forced to process my awareness of them without that part that part of the brain firing off that allows me to understand and percieve them as certain things, like yeah I doubt I could really figure out how but yeah and just like no short term memory at all like no imediate memory, long term memory yes, mid term memory yes but like imediate short term memory no that effectively mean, and I doubt anyone here has actually experienced a memory problem except maybe Flag has alsiemers so he would know but if your immediate short term memory stop working you just don't know what you are doing, like that is what it means to not have wherewithal and know what you are doing so yeah just well can't fucking function when that happens because well shit it renders me insane and useless and as for the chemicals and the apropiately feeling the emotion it just, well when something emotional is involved well basically the overflow of chemicals cause like just a constant anxiety, like yeah like just scared feeling I guess but if it's like episode bad I don't know what is going on so yeah but it IS a living hell like it's a very horrible feeling and oh my god what it does to my brain because like I'm a bit fucked in the head and it just can be like well it's really horrible. So like I think that may be how an episode occurs. now look emotional thinsg don';t really happen that often in life and so usually I am not overwhealmed chemically in the brain and so insane, like obviously this is retarded how much utter fucking rubbish I'm typing right noow but that's because of drugs, I'll sleep and hey somethimng actually good happened so once I straigten up I'll be fine, but like when my cat dies that might be a time when I go insane so you know because I'm not stupid and are not so permantly insane that I am not aware that I am a bit "insane" effectively I just have to try amd learn from how things have affected me in the past and just try to fucking deal with bit by bit emotionally so that I actually process it and don't just get overwhealmed with it and because I have warning, like I've been made more consiously aware that she will die soon, like I can look after her and whatnot but she is old, she is a cat and she does have renal failure best case is she has another couple of years but yeah I think the shock of it like when she actually gets weak enough that she is suffering and she has to be put down like I know that's going to be a big fucking emotional biochemical and no matter what, I'm going to take a while to process that and I probably will be affected and will be like having chunks of my brain not actually working from like a couple of days to a couple of weeks, just depends how quickly my brain reabsorbes the chemicals released that are actually appropiate to be released when they are, I mean I can mentall prepare myself but fact is I will have an apropiate chgemical release causing emotions when it happens because I do have emotions and plenty of chemical production to feel them wheras I think a psychopath doesn't even have the production of certain chemicals that affect the brain that are actually emotions like they do have chemicals but the brain hasn't produced enough due to their differnce in teh brain for them to actually feel an emotion as we do but I think they are addicted to trying to produce the chemicals, like they are addicted to the chemical because we all are I mean it's the chemicals that are emotion, we are all addicted to thye dopamine and every other fucking chemical that cause emotions but because they don't produce that much of a chemical when a bichemical reaction that produces an appropiate release of the chemical for whatever emotion if apropiate to the situation I think they seek to do things that will produce what would be for most people too much chemical release causing emotion and would actually damge and traumatise someone with what is a common ammount of emotionally reactive chemicals in the brain and like something that produces too much chemicals traumatises most people and that actually phsycially damages the brain like parts of the brain can be shut off or killed by these chemicals but because psychopaths don;t produce much their brain can tollerate enviroments and situations that may may cause a biochemical reaction in the brain and their brain will not be damaged by it, I think psychopaths tend to do and seek what seems to most people things that would traumatise some because it's not like don;t have chemicals and it's only those situation that cause the most biochemical reaction for chemicals that affect our brain to cause what we feel as emotions tghat they actually get enough chemicals released to actually have an emotion which may not appear to others as an emotion but it is to a psychopath what it is to all people natuyrally produced chemicals in the brain which we are in fact addicted to, we are adicted to feeling, our brains are just made to want those chemicals, like they just want to feel anything they can, they just don;t feel much because produce so much less chemicals than people who are emotionally chemically developed like fully in their brain but in a lot of ways you know they just aren't going to get an actually damaged brain from a chemical imbalance in the brain, there is a part of their brain that just doesn't activate when it normally would in others because the chemicalls don't cause it to activate or cue the process of electical stimulation to that part of the brain or the other but they are not at as much risk of other functioning parts of their brain getting damaged due to emotional trauma. Yes so anyway I'm all kinds of fucked up, I'm not one the goodest peopel but I'm like in that 20% of people who actually will stop and help regardless of myself, thye more emotionally developed ones with high (because if goodness was an intelligence and I think it is of sorts because some are just actually better than others in the snese that I'm particulatry thinking about see like the ones that are emotionally smarter and healthier and fully developed in their brain and they are usually like the firefighters, and doctors and nurses and all that that actually, like you know they;ve done psychology experiments to see how many people will actually try and help someone who is pretending to be stabbed and whatnot and you know 80% of people will not, which is actually preserving themsleves better because it doesn't put them in danger so natural selction that is why 80% are like that but as an intellectual capacity, like a capacity in the brain they just don;t have have a part developed in the brain that has like a I guess a goodness intelligence where 20% of people WILL act and help when confronted with something like that because ultimately survival isn't anymore imprtant for you than it for someone else and ultimately if you leave people to die or face injury when you can actually prevent it as far as surviuval goes it ensures survival more, even if that survival isn;t for you it ultimately ensures survival more greatly because then there is a better chance than someone inured or facing injjury can be saved than if we were all the 80%, if we were all the 80% it would be a fast track to evolving into something that is ultimately less equipped to survive like basically too that evolution would affect men where they would have less oprtunity to passon their genes because basically no-one would help save anyone else from ijury, men would like get less chance to pass on their genes becasue it would more be like one male whatever is just pshysically able to gain a territory would get to mate with all the females in the territory but that is short lived and very limited because they would lose their territory to next more able male to claim a territory, and ten they would get their turn like there would be less mixing around of different genes and so the genetically we would become less able to produce variations that basically improve the bunch of chemicals we are's resistence to environment as the more varied mix of genes we have the more variations happens that allow the chemicals to survive in an enviroment and the less variation then the more susceptable we are to not having a some with a vriation that allows them to survive a disease or something happening the enviroment and holy shit I none of this is I don;pt even know why I think it would have that affect but basically that 20% is like well the 80% survive more to pass on those genes that make a partcular chemical make upo that works but not as many of those 80% would survive without that 20% being passed on like that 20% is some kind of thing where it persists because overall it makes more of all the genepool survive and so as it works out there is like that extra poercentage that all genes will endure chimcally and that is just the right balance between that like it it would naturally be evolving that that perfcentage of people is jsut most successfull in proliferating the whole fucking chemical shit we call life and yes I know how utterly insane, pointless and meaningless everything I just typed is but i did and I am just like on drugs so yeah look at all this fucking shit, look it's pretty fucking rare I take something like this because yeah being like this is just well I'm completely fucking useless, like all this is just, it's not actually productive except I did think of some things and these nerons have just been firing off all wherever I'm pretty fucking tired and I definately need to drink some water and lay down. ok probably biggest post I've ever made like seriously no-one can actually read all this this it would take them a couple of hours and especially the end like I was trying to construct thoughts but getting so tired and the neurons keep firing and yeah like this is totally unreadable, I know that, but hey there are worse things I could do on speed than type out a train of thought for 4 hours mbut there are definately better and more interesting things I could be doing, like how boring even on speed, that I actually just sat ther and compulsively wrote my drivel of thoughts for 4 hours.
And anyone wondering "is meth really that bad?" Yes it is and you'd have to be as dumb as dog shit to take that often let alone everyday. Is it crazy to even have it once? Um yes it is, depends how curious you are, how little you care about taking the best care of yourself as you can and how much risky behaviour you are inclined to indulge in. I have enough of that to do these things once in a blue moon, I don't seek it out but if it presents itself to me I do sometimes, I'm not dumb enough to addicted to any hard drugs though, I have one genuine drug habit and that is pot, it is not really managable for me to have any other drug habits. Besides I'm not a huge fan of diarrhea of the brain, I'm always wanting pot to stop myself thinking, never really seeking anything to make it not shut the fuck up for hours. Made my sexual arousal last longer, like pot can make me horny but lazy you know and if I cum then I get over it but like Once I got aroused I just stayed in like a high point of arousal for even a long time after I had sex. Anyway none of you had ever seen me high on anything other than pot before and you are unlikely to ever see that again.
Yeah so anyway, see who you are literally rolling around with dp? I'll just be ignoring you along with the obsessed bushpig loser brigade unless you somehow find your way back from being well literally as lame as the loser brigade to being a spastic demented fuck that is sometimes funny but who is actually enough of my friend that I wouldn't be ashamed to play with sometimes, but this dp, like you are literally as lame as cody, m0nde and steveyos YOLO right now and like just nah lol, like yeah you literally look as fucking stupid as those three, have some self respect dp
Oh do the losers actually think they aren't on ignore and that someone is talking to them? What's new? M0nde and steveyos YOLO DESPERATE for attention, well they aren't getting it from me, they are literally on ignore, I'm just explaining something to dp because he's been making topics begging for my attention and I remember when he wasn't so much of a loser that he looked like cody or m0nde or steveyos YOLO, so I felt a bit sorry for him calling out for my attention all over the forum, thought I should let him know what's up and his current social standing, which is kind of rock bottom right now
Because of the episodes and I haven't been able to deal with things very well since the last bad happenings, I mean I've had episodes before but I was at university and it worked out more around the holidays so I just dropped a couple of units when uni started back and only took on two units that semester which I was able manage until I got better, but after the last bad things.... i just couldn't deal with stuff anymore, I'm getting there I think, it's been more than 6 months since my last episode and I think I'm getting there but the doctors recommended I take a couple of years, I might start picking up a but of work next year, just maybe some of the one day work here and there they have going with events on the island, but I'm not ready to go back full time teaching or anything like tha
