Alanis Jokes

[2018-6-27 02:02:13] <plug> It was rumored that Alanis would give random male fans blowjobs, but would start nibbling too hard on their penis head while roughly and painfully squeezing their balls

[2018-6-27 02:02:39] <plug> And then stick her feet in their face

[2018-6-27 02:16:52] <plug> Alanis once developed a complex avant garde routine involving suspension from gymnastics equipment from braided hair on her feet

[2018-6-27 02:19:29] <plug> As part of her self defense training Alanis perfected a technique where she slashes opponents to death with knives set in her foot-hair ponytails

[2018-6-27 02:23:14] <plug> According to her band manager, during Alanis' 8 hour yoga sessions it can be tough to tell whether she is using her hands or her feet for various chores and tasks around the house, such as washing dishes or signing record deals

[2018-6-27 02:28:27] <plug> Careful how close you get to Alanis: her best friends have stated that spending too much time with Alanis leads to casual enemas during mutual masturbation sessions and repeated requests to smell her feet

[2018-6-27 02:33:09] <plug> A frequent topic of her lyrics: when Alanis quits taking her medication she not only loses her bizarre accent but also the ability to speak entirely, reverting to apish grunting and swinging from light fixtures in the ceiling using her feet.

[2018-6-27 02:36:21] <plug> The Alanis joke starter pack

[2018-6-27 02:39:45] <plug> Several strands of hair from Alanis' Nipple once sold at auction for several thousand dollars

[2018-6-27 02:42:44] <plug> Focusing more nowadays on entrepreneurial projects than her music, Alanis is reportedly pioneering an invention which allows the user to defecate automatically via an apparatus inserted into the anus -- no more wiping!

[2018-6-27 02:47:38] <plug> Alanis firmly believes that Rollerblades are a misogynist plot to enslave women and frequently protests outside retro diners, usually when she has skipped doses of her medication.

[2018-6-27 02:48:30] <plug> Her methods of protest often include ripping the windshield wipers off cars with her toes.

[2018-6-27 02:52:49] <plug> Being ambidextrous, Alanis has developed a technique for responding to fan mail where she can write a response to up to four letters at a time with pens in each hand and one held in each foot, although the responses can often come out written backwards from her left foot.

[2018-6-27 02:59:01] <plug> According to her band manager, if Alanis is missing before a concert, the first place to look is nearby trees which she can frequently be found swinging from with all limbs

[2018-6-27 03:27:54] <plug> The floor of Alanis' apartment is a giant trampoline, and is frequently covered in pillows, half-hearted bananas, and vibrators.

[2018-6-27 03:28:16] <plug> Half-eaten bananas, damn autocorrect

[2018-6-27 03:29:31] <plug> Pillows, pill bottles, half eaten bananas, and vibrators

[2018-6-27 03:30:00] <plug> She's got everything she needs

I started making these after doing fake Alanis lyrics for a while (some of the better ones of those: {to the beat of 'One Hand in My Pocket's} "I'm a dope hoor, may I please have a band aid?" ""I care about treeeees, so I eat without napkin" " he's strong and he's suuuure, my dog's dicks my new boyfriend"
"I'm brown but I'm white; I'm really not sure" "I'm part Chineeeese, my feet are Italian"

Back to Alanis facts:
Alanis' apartment floor consists entirely of trampolines with pillows, pill bottles, half-eaten bananas, and vibrators covering the top of them.

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