The Function of the Relevant Hormones in Human Beings and the advantages and pitfalls of sexual communication
Across a crowded room
1) when you are first attracted to someone, the principal sensory stimulus is usually visual, in this particular instance, perhaps in a social context, the eye sends messages along the nerve endings to the brain, and the brain releases two hormones, Vasopressin and Dopamine, which begin to act during the phase of heightened attention, in order to assess the objects suitability as a potential mate. If the object continues to attract one and advances are reciprocated, another hormone is released. This chemical, Serotonin or 5-Hydroxytriptamine, one of the Amine group of stimulants similar to Amphetamine, begins to produce a feeling of euphoria and excitement which by a process of association becomes related to the immediacy of the object of desire as the interaction develops.
If the couple are mutually attracted and begin to take each other's advances seriously, the brain releases two other hormones, Oxytocin and Prolactin. These act on the mind to produce a feeling of bonding which, in anticipation of or during subsequent encounters grows stronger, along with the sense of centeredness or focus and euphoria felt in the presence of the other person, produced by the accompanying Vassopresin, Dopamine and Serotonin respectively. The whole process is called psychosomatic, inasmuch as the chemicals produced which act on the brain, stimulant various emotional and intellectual responses in the mind. In tandem with the release of these hormones, when the subjects first enter physical proximity, traces of pheromone will be released to stimulate a heightened level of secretion of the other hormones, in order to increase the overall effect of attraction.
And so to bed
Two powerful hormones are also released by the sex organs during this whole process and they are Oestrogen in the female and Testosterone in the male. As in the case of Prolactin release in the male, Prolactin is predominantly a female hormone which is secreted in breast milk, he is also likely to release traces of Oestrogen as well, whilst the female will release traces of Testosterone.
The reason why members of the opposite sex produce hormones not readily associated with their gender is that Testosterone in the female enables her to judge the masculine qualities in her prospective sexual partner, whilst the same happens with Oestrogen in the male. The preliminary chemical phases completed, the sexual hormones will stimulate the desire to copulate and sexual intercourse takes place. After the sex act the levels of hormones plummet and remain low for hours, sometimes for a day or so, until the brain chemicals resume a heightened level again and stimulate the couple to copulate again.
This whole process is reactive and based almost entirely on conditioned responses stimulated by a variety of chemicals working together to act upon the central nervous system and the mind. The process is mediated and modified by personal inclinations and social conditioning. In our society, until very recently, encounters between males and females for purely sexual purposes of recreation or fun were disencouraged and the initial feelings produced by the neurotransmitters were described by moralists as the process of "falling in love".
Fantasy Feelings
To this the guardian’s of the nation’s moral welfare ascribed a spiritual and romantic quality, an illusory and unrealistic dimension, which that establishment encouraged people to disassociate with and separate from the procreative act. This delusion was promulgated more for political and social reasons, rather than from of any altruistic desire to educate, enlighten or prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. One wasn’t supposed to copulate unless one was married to or had "Fallen in Love" with one’s prospective sexual partner.
It seems odd to say that one mustn't engage in the fulfillment of one hormonal process unless the other had first taken place. The feelings associated with falling in love are focus, bonding and, most importantly from a psychobiological point of view - elation, all of which derive from purely chemical reactions and have nothing to do with real Love whatsoever. If they did, people wouldn’t fall out of love as often as they do. The flowery moralistic attitude which encourages people to have such unrealistic notions about the purely natural processes we all undergo, creates expectations about the potential of human relationships which are pure fantasy.
During a relationship, the brain slowly reduces the levels of the "falling in love" hormones and because of this for some, their relationships become mediocre and boring. This they often blame on the other person, which is also unrealistic and sometimes quite unfair. The reason that the relationship has lost that "buzz" is because the serotonin levels have dropped.
For this reason many people constantly seek new people with whom to fall in love with. In truth, they aren’t in love with the person at all, but rather with the "drug rush" and the "chemical high" that human encounters so often afford. In reality it is advisable to know the truth and to take a long look at a subject that, in being so often misunderstood and often poorly and incompetently covered in national education can, because of the consequent ignorance and romantic idealism being fostered, cause so much personal misery and social chaos.
England Expects Every Man
Society has trained people to harbor unworkable moral ideals about human nature and encourages them to attempt to adhere, and expect their fellow humans to adhere, to standards of behavior that are frankly dishonest and unreasonable. Subsequently people’s expectations in a variety of social interactions with their fellows, including bonding and mating, are full of deceit and hypocrisy.
If people were trained to be themselves, and not just the projections of a fashionable moral ideal, which confusingly can change from decade to decade, then society and social interactions would be a lot healthier and more enjoyable, leading to far less disillusionment and bitterness on an individual and national scale.
Beyond the Fantasy
Honesty produces natural centeredness and clarity. In such a mental condition, it is possible to perceive a transcendent quality in life which many have called True Love. It has nothing to do with sexual attraction or acquisition and is in no other way dependent upon or relative to human behavior or experience. This quality, when on occasion it becomes the foundation of human interactions, goes beyond the merely sexual or emotional to produce a state of communication and compassion that sexuality, with all the greed, self deceit and cruelty that often accompanies it, can never understand or provide.
Footnote:
If you enter into a relationship it would be a lot more honest to build its foundations on something far more substantial and meaningful than a sense of sexual or romantic, chemically derived titillation. It would then stand a lot more chances of being successful.
~Copypasta from bibliotecapleyades~
