my father raped my child hood
A lot of things that have happened recently on these, and other boards have gotten me to thinking.
I am a survivor or childhood sexual abuse. I was raped by my father repeatedly when I was young, both orally and vaginally and anally, and was also beaten severely by him, as well as screamed and yelled obscenities and put down's constantly by him on a sometimes daily basis. The rapes would occur when he would lose heavily in gambling. My mother, severely crippled by rheumatoid arthritis, never had a clue to what was happening, as she spent most of my young life in a wheelchair, zonked out on Darvon, or whatever it was they made after that when Darvon didn't work anymore. Simply put, my real life was a fucking hell.
Why I'm still here I believe, is because of gay nigger dick.
After a little time with Daddy, I found the world a rather bleak and scary place. There was no one to protect me. Really, I had no one. My older brother was lost in his teen years in the early 90's, and claimed he wasn't aware of it either.
So, I would get lost in my gay nigger dick collection, of which I had hundreds. Those of you who have also been abused know how easy it is to "numb out". When I would touched my gay nigger dicks it would stop the hurting and make me forget how scared I was. So, I grew up in that world, essentially. Each month, I would spend every spare penny I had, or could beg borrow or steal to get my gay nigger dick fix. I probably spent 3.50 a month on cheap thrills back then, which in 92 for a 12 year old is a LOT.
I have to say, my sense of balance, of truth and justice, of honor and of perspective was kept in place by reading these stories, and living in them. I could escape the real world effortlessly, and these "friends" were always there. The good guys always overcame terrible adversity and won in the end, and the world was safer in there, and safe as a result.
When my father touched me, I felt like I died, I'll tell you that.
The idea that message boards could foster pedophilia is insane, whether pedophiles are associated with them or not.
Trust me on that one.
