Generic Ruby DayZ Videos Thread #25: Invading Utes With Stevey Special Edition

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdkh2kFgA0k

first up is me and stevey trying out the tropical jungle Lingor map and after fighting through game errors (as steveyos says, 15 loading screen, 14 errors, how the hell do you guys play this fucking game dude?), getting shot when I clearly dodged the bullet, getting shot again after someone catches me surviving a short fall with my legs intact and couldnt let me get away with that and getting kicked from the game for having a corrupt memory 51 I join a server that plays the walking dead theme song and I get into a fight with the local AI characters after I murder two of them so I just run away as they mag dump at me from an unknown position and then I wander through the map taking in the sights such as a painting of ashley and her wonky eye (06:34), barrys house (06:59) and sheva alomars modeling career (07:04) as I try to meet up with stevey but I spot another player on the way there and get prone in a bush and start taking pot shots at him but then a second guy runs towards him and they have a big stupid gun battle running around each other mag dumping which I have experienced many a time but never seen from afar its like two ants fighting over breadcrums and then they both fall down and I think I got them because my murders is two but thats actually from the two AI I killed lmao which I wont be counting in my killcount I hear gunshots coming from ontop of the hill I'm set up on as a third guy starts taking shots at these two numpties on the other hill so I whip around and hes silhouetting himself like a dumbass so I shoot him and he does the animation to go prone but ends up dying and I'm amazed that went so well and then after running further down the road another player pops out and I very carefully aim down the scope of my newly acquired gun from my kill and shoot him 5 times in the chest with sniper rifle bullets but he kills me too blindly firing his marakov at me and I scream come on realism realism KILL HIM YOU SHIT GAAAME AAAAAAAAAA!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAqtwUw_YRc

on my next character I spawn in a diva bar and I manage to meet up with stevey after he hears me blasting zombies in a supermarket and we are constantly beset by zombies and completely expecting this to all go horribly wrong and for our legs to break as soon as we look at each other wrong or whatever but our biggest threat is when we hear two other players shooting their guns outside the hospital we were looting and we spend half an hour shitting our pants in terror hiding behind a wall illegitimately looking outside with third person and since we dont want to make any foot steps steveyos uses his xbox 360 controller to very gradually slide himself millimeter by millimeter around the floor but when no one comes in we move to a small hut to look for supplies and are gradually harassed more and more by zombies who seem to have to open the door at first but eventually upgrade their skilltrees enough to unlock the phasing ability and just ghost straight inside running around at 30mph and we have to frantically mag dump on them so then we go to the supermarket where we get gang banged by even more zombies and we end up escaping to the roof of an office building and to keep us safe from zombies/having fun the game disconnects us

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaG468n79x4

then I decide to show stevey the Utes map which is a small for arma games island thats pretty much constant PvP and as soon as I load in there's already a flood of people asking how their dicks taste and screaming abuse at each other lmao and as soon as I get into combat I forgot you had to take your gun in and out to get it to fire back then oh boy what a game and I am like come on roll you fucking PRIIIIIICK hang on I'm getting my jimbos taken out and then I try to find stevey but get shot at literally every where I go and die again from forgetting to take my gun in and out and I'm like I forgot that how you take a saftey off a gun is to put it on your back and take out a handgun and then put the handgun back in and take it off your back but then I begin the strikeback and start pwning n00bs myself and I end up finding stevey in the only city and I get him to blood bag me and we start operating together aka being careful walking down stairs as stevey puts it our elite seal team training has trained us not to break our legs while going down stairs but as soon as combat happens things go tits up since we both put a mag each into a guy up a tower and nothing happens but of course he gets me but I pwn another n00b in the school and meet up with stevey again in the church and we decide to camp there for a while and to entertain ourselves we discuss the painting of mary and jesus above the door and how it looks like shes molesting him or perhaps its just a ventriloquist doll and thats why she has her hand up his bum and how that's exactly what religion is: an old man making you say what he wants while he shoves his hand up your arse and we try and lure people into the church but somenoe literally types in the chat dont go in the church lmao so we move over to the school which neither of us recognize at first because we're both dropouts and after playing dress up as a muslim and noting that there's no kids there (as steveyos puts it: what's a school without a bunch of targets?) we spot someone from the roof running around some barracks but when we go down to engage him someone else gets stevey from another angle so I run into a building and fire at him when he tries to loot steveys dead body and he pwns me as I try to run further up the appartments and on my new car I get some hacker gun with a double drum magazine and a scope and with only a few seconds to go before a server restart I use it to murder a guy on a firehouse roof while yelling GET MY FUCKING DOUBLE DRUM MAGAZINE DUMPED ON YOU NIGGA, WHATS UP? I HAVE HAD FUN, I REPEAT FUN CONFIRMED

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYDd6PbskTM

then the next time we play we went on Utes again since there's no zombies and we can actually find each other well thats usually the case this time I spawn in the fucking open ocean and after trying to get the admin to rescue me by mic spamming nigger nigger nigger and that hitler didnt do anything wrong I give in and go to their fucking website to register and set my spawn point which is what they say in the chat to do but you can also set the gear you spawn with too which of course makes fraps record my mic at a lower level because I dared to close my game while it was still open and then launch it again holy moly do I hate computers and I give myself a multigrenade launcher like a hacker which is a real nigger since if you fire it too close to damage yourself the shell doesnt detonate which is ridiculous and obviously gettings shot with a grenade is going to injure you even if it doesnt explode also seemingly random at what it decides would damage you and after a bunch of failures I finally get the hang of it which is to engage people 20 meters away by firing all 6 grenades at random and then judge where to aim from where they fall and I wipe out 12 fucking people in this video the toppest lel includes: me being pinned down by a little kiddy sniper so steveyos runs him over with a truck to no effect so I blow him up with my grenade launcher and then stevey gets out his truck and falls over dead since the guy shot him before he hit him and then my grenade transformers his truck instantly into a flaming wreck but at least I didnt kill him and the only way I could know what had happened was watching how my kill count changed in the debug monitor, and then of course this little kiddy called Greg gets mad and starts trying to talk shit but just gets everyone else in the server extremely mad as hell so we had a sort of domino effect where we trolled the entire game with one pro move and the video ends with me killing him and him going HEY I JUST SPAWNED ;_; lol pwnt and then I kill him again lmao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEcQF-vS9gk

after turning into a man and putting on my william wallace blue faint paint I start operating fairly with a rifle and of course still pwn mad noobs and by that I mean shoot a guy in the back 10 times and then wait for him to drop dead and he has enough time to whip around and shoot me before collapsing ugh ok meanwhile steven yelle went full sonic the hedgehog and combat rolled over a guy to kill him lmao then I have some surprising success where I unload a double drum machine gun on a guy missing every time but chase him down to some barracks and just walk down the hallway letting off bursts and it actually kills him then I meet up with stevey and we both unload on a guy coming up the stairs to the school and it actually kills him and we both dump on a guy running outside the school and stevey actually gets him and hes like he didn't have a gun, let's get out of here before we get banned! but the operating stops when stevey gets double killed in a barracks by a guy whos not even looking at him when he starts shooting then after pwning another nub I load into another server and start blasting fuckers with an M60 driving around on an airfield and I try to blow up a bunch of cars with grenades but it just like... transformers the cars instantly into burnt out husks and it looks terrible

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cuCIboZVcI

stevey and I meet up again on the school roof and we come up with a cunning plan to run towards gunfire but then we find some barn yard animals going for a walk down the street so just in case they're not other players in disguise we kill them all lmao sorry stompleb then we see an actual human and we torture him by breaking his legs, bandaging him and then damaging him more and more as he lays helplessly on the ground lmao and then we hear a literal nigger spamming gangster rap so we chase after him screaming KILL ALL FUCKING NIGGERS!!! and I manage to kill him but he fucks me up super bad and I die soon after and after pwning another noob we meet up again and have some fun sniping sheep in the distance but some cheeky cunt starts shooting at us so we get off the roof and down to the appartments and after I almost teamkill stevey tim style I snipe a guy from the window like some sort of good game and then we both mag dump our machine guns on a guy coming up for us and hes like LOL I WAS GANG BANGED IN AN APARTMENT and it would have looked very cool but a triangle pops up on my screen out of no-where when I havnt seen one in a year lmao thanks then we hear the nigger micspamming rap music again and hollering DIE MOTHAFUCKA DIE MOTHAFUCKA DIE MOTHAFUCKA STILL FOOL but someone else gets me when I try to get on the roof to snipe him but stevey eventually gets him then we meet up again at the church and we get into a big stupid gun fight where we kill a guy but some random person gets me and on my new char I mean after I die again I KILL CODY lmao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ircY_Dqaa5U

then I go to the scottish style castle and someone chases me up the stairs shooting at me so I toss down a grenade and THE GRENADE ACTUALLY KILLS HIM wow and when I go down to check I kill another guy and find that there's like 4 dead guys down there that have all killed each other but an even other cheeky cunt comes up to try and get me and I call of duty reflex sight him from above and then drag his body to the top of the roof as he wakes up and stevey tells me hes running up the castle so I have fun showing this Carl dude the lovely views as he tries to run away but I'm like holding him in place telekenetically with the drag option and I make sure to aim him away from the stairs in case he can still shoot and shoots stevey when hes in front of us lmao and stevey asks is this you up here and I say yeah and he says ok I'm coming up now but the guy coming up the stairs ISNT STEVEY and shoots me when I say dont shoot us and try to show him this guy I'm molesting so I instantly whip around and I USE CARL AS A HUMAN SHIELD WHO FALLS DOWN DEAD ALLOWING ME TO RETURN FIRE ON THE RUSTLER but of course he still kills me and then stevey starts going watch out watch out as the same guy gets him because he thought he was me sitting up there lmao this fucking gaaaaaame then we meet up again on the coast and make the mistake of engaging a guy from more than one meter away and the hip hop mic spammer gets us after we shoot him over and over again and when I respawn I respawn PHASED INTO THE FUCKING GROUND AS IF IM SWIMMING THROUGH WATER lmao so I swim up some stairs inside an appartment and it cures my kitty prydeness but I get killed as soon as I get a gun then on my next life I go back to the castle and kill a dude climbing up the stiars as he lags around causing his corpse to bounce up and down as I stuck his teleporting technology on and then stevey no scopes Carl who we cant stop owning as we retake the tower but we're both soon pwnt again and as I get back there to loot steveys body HIS BODY DISAPEARS AS IM TRYING TO CLICK ON IT AND IT MAKES ME THROW A SMOKE GRENADE INSIDE THE CASTLE THEREBY ALERTING EVERYONE IN THE VACINITY lovely great game so I just say fuck it and let off all my smoke grenades all over it to draw everyone in for an epic final fight which starts after stevey gets back to me and with me one-shotting a dude up on a wall watching all the other fagboys out on the battlefield and I start operating so hard that my mic starts breaking up and stevey cant understand me because the game needs all my internet latancy to convey the sheer pwnage about to go down when I switch to my M16A3s M302 underslung grenade launcher and I FIRE A GRENADE INTO A TENT A DUDE RAN INTO DESTROYING HIM AND THE ENTIRE STRUCTURE aka maybe him comically fall down and the tent to just disapear and when the next cheeky cunt comes to see what all the smoke is I launch a grenade next to him on the ground and a second later he has a wee fall over and dies and then a message pops up saying server will restart in 5 mins so stevey starts shooting in the air to attract fagmasters and it works and I get a final kill with my grenade launcher and then we go to the top of the castle with 1 minute left to go on the server and start shooting widly off of the castle trying to have fun and then I rush down through the castle but slip and fall and just before I hit the ground the server drops saving my life lmao so then I counted my blessings and didnt play the mod again for a year

10/10

'stevey' thread/buzz kill ITT