Look, I know you were beaten as a child. I sympathize with you, that has got to suck. But you need to understand that continuing the cycle of abuse by doing the same things to cag is not the way to deal with your pain. You're smart enough that I know you understand, despite your upbringing, that this is not simply "how things are". You're in a position to break the cycle, to be better than your past, and better than the people who hurt you. For cag's sake and your own, seek help. See a therapist or a family counselor, face your demons and move past this. I know you can do it, I'm rooting for you.
