Generic Ruby DayZ Videos Thread #13: Guest Star StompleB Special Edition
this game was recorded 10 days short of exactly a year ago lmao hitler forgive my sloth which was the day James "Jimmy Rustler" Holmes finally took a stand against americans clapping at the movies and somehow managed to make The Dark Knight Rises even worse by shooting up a midnight showing so that's what were are discussing throughout this thread and what's on our TVs in the background it's a shame Adam "Autism Avenger" Lanza one-upped James by killing kiddies since that's less impressive to me since any retard can walk into a school and shoot kids (since schools are gun free zones trolololol) but it takes some dramatic flare to wait for a movie premier and then throw smoke grenades into the theater and start shooting people styling yourself after the villains of the franchise so the fucking retarded americans think its part of the show and note how Adam is dead while James is alive since hopefully getting caught was part of his plan :plan: and he'll escape and shoot up The Wolverine premier dressed as Deadpool or something christ what was this thread about oh yeah and this was also the day my family went on holiday so it was a busy day well by my standards other people did interesting things while I played a walking sim with a gay vegan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wLs4xYElYY
this is one of those videos on retrospect I should have edited better aka cut out all this shit of me trying to answer a steam call and should have edited now if I gave a fuck but I get a good kill where where I load into the church and for once my pro tactic of logging out in a corner works since I see a nigger running around and his name is Mr. T lel and he starts babbling away in his nigger speak and the only part I can make out is when he runs out the door and says EH EEEH EH EEH SEE YA LATER and closes the doors behind him but since I am a pro gamer I shoot my arrow directly through the middle of the doors as they're one inch away from closing and it gets him if these shitty videos were a shitty hollywood movie the camera would have followed the arrow in bullet time going through the doors just as they were about to close but it only knocked the guy out so I try and drag him towards some zombies to feed him alive to them but even zombies dont want to associate with blacks lmao :kkk: and this guy is like I WILL COME AT YOU WITH A HATCHET AND I WILL HATCHET YOUR FACE OFF and then dies lmao and throughout I am telling stomple to shut the fuck up since I am finally having fun in a video game and I dont have time for stomples unique problems (whenever anyone plays DayZ they are gonna have problems, but they are always unique to them, kind of like how they say hell is a different worse case scenario for each sinner, for example stompleb has somehow gotten himself stuck in some fixed turning circle or something where his camera and character will only go in 8 set directions, general doli couldnt even get the game working (after I bought it for him (I need help... please)), I get triangles, no one has fun, ect) oh also stomplebs side has an obnoxious echo so enjoy hearing me twice I know I did when editing this gay shit also good forshadowing here where stompleb tells me to get terri schiavo'd little does he know that is his fate and then stompleb gets to grips with all the bullshit aka literally every single thing he sees in the game theres something wrong with it lmao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQTs30WkTho
if anyones wondering what that extremely annoying high pitched whining noise is thats my dog getting lonely because my family are loading up the car to go on holiday and shes being left alone for literally 10 minutes this video is basically a demonstration of me nearing legit rustlage since like 8 things are happening thats overwhelming me with annoying shit obviously playing this awful shit game but my dog wont shut the fuck up and I have the TV on behind me and my family are running around about to leave and stomple is being his usual grating self and has a Clap Out™ whenever I use a non-amerifat term and has an awful echo on and big boy barry is messaging me about some autism bullshit and deso was getting me to help with a troll to make it look like cberry had died in the dark knight rises shooting (so now we have Epic Steam Trolls™ as well as Epic Skype Trolls™) since he lives in Aurora (fun fact: no black people were killed in the shooting, only white people, since they thought it was part of the movie, but when a brother hear dat gat clap he know that shit fo real and dat nigga runnin yoknowwhatamsayin) so enjoy my excruciatingly accurate simulation of what its like to have eight annoying things happening at once
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM6VHPLkfxE
after literally kissing my sister in real life to say goodbye I come back to my computer to more Epic Steam Trolls™ and to learn stompleb has somehow gotten himself bleeding while laying down alone in an empty werehouse which is perfectly plausible in DayZ due to the worst enemy in the game being in there: stairs but after a tom cruise style high octane running scene I dramatically as fuck get to him literally one second too late because the stupid cunt had hidden in the furthest part of the building and of course running through a door is a huge undertaking in this broken ass game and stompleb is like YOUR FAMILY WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SAVING ME :( and there there's a lovely like 6 minutes of me laying in one spot getting more and more annoyed by stomple and then barry when he turns up lmao these videos really are terrible but there is some Top Banter™ when we talk about how barrys voice has gotten deeper and I project onto stomple about never maturing and thankfully stomple spawns close to elektro so I can go and find him again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1mfRz7Klq0
after giving stomple a lil ting ting and teaching him how to run forwards we meet up with barry who has finally lost his AS-50 from the day before after having it for like a week and losing it and getting it back five times neato how both barry and tek can have week long characters who escape bullshit by the skin of their ballbags several times but whenever I try to play seriously bullshit hones in on me like a magnet and then we literally have a nice we sit for a screen cap in the most sniper heavy place in the whole map and just after I make a joke that maybe someones watching us and thinking we're such a bunch of gayboys STOMPLE GETS HIS HEAD BLOWN OFF BY A SNIPER so I of course run straight towards where the gunfire came from looking for this cunt but hes hidden under a tree in 100% perfect undetectable camouflage luckily we are playing a shitty video game and barry spots him with the nametag pop up and blasts him and he shot me a little and it broke my leg but since I was already running I only hit the ground when I stopped running due to realisms and this motherfucker was all togged up with even C4 so we come up with a hair brained scheme to bomb the church lmao fuck all christians god doesnt exist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23xjnlZPHTA
something finally funny happens in this video when I presume the hyper generic old man who comes into the room I'm camping in is barry but after he says hes "in the bush" I mag dump at this fuckboy and since I'm laying on the ground 90% of my bullets go into the floor for no reason but one gets his leg and it makes the hilarious *crunch* OOH! sound and then me and barry literally force him to crawl back into the house at gunpoint so I can bandage him to prolong his suffering and this guy definitely can hear and understand me since he's following my orders but I guess hes either too scared or doesnt know how to communicate back but unfortunately there is no roll on your back option in this game so I cant rape him cowgirl style so I get barry to go behind him and fuck him up his ass while I grind my pussy in his face but HE KILLS HIMSELF TO AVOID BEING RAPED which for some fucking reason puts me into shock so I guess the fucking retarded game considers someone clicking respawn because their legs broke next to you as a gun being fired at you or something jesus christ well I am counting this as one of my kills since if I hadn't shot him in the leg and tried to rape him he wouldn't have topped himself and then since stompleb finds it very challenging to walk forwards in a straight line me and barry go and find him running back to elektro but we also find some guy crawling around who yells I FRIENDLY! DONT SHOOT! and I ask him if he needs morphine but he doesnt reply until I tell him to have cyber sex with him then he literally stands up to me and I'm like OH SO YOU CAN WALK? ILL CHANGE THAT VERY FAST M8 and kneecap him lmao and I start grinding my crotch into his face and demanding he lick me but apparently he is gay and tries to crawl away but I START SHOVING MY GUN UP HIS BUM WHILE BARRY SITS IN FRONT OF HIM LIKE IT AINT GONNA SUCK ITSELF AND STOMPLE BARREL ROLLS BESIDE US lmao this is a realistic gang rape tbh this happens in India to tourists all the time and this guys trying to make it to the sea to escape but me and barry shred his legs with bullets and he passes out and I manage to do the drag body glitch from the day before where you get a dead body stuck to you by doing literally a necrophilia ritual and I'm like EVEN IN DEATH YOU CANT ESCAPE THE RUBY RAPE! and then on our way to bomb the church we find a dead guy with some nvgs and an FN FAL with a night vision scope on it good job dying with all that cool shit on a day time server numbnuts and while we are doing some insane jew fiddling I spot a guy called Matthew Scott watching us which is probably his real name since the game takes your computers username if you dont set a username lmao so I run that bastard down and kill him without any iron sights or cross hairs I'm just that good at games I could plug him in third person and when I get back to my m8s stomple has the best gun in the game and barrys ghillie suit has eaten his back pack so thats us lost the demolition charge now thats what I call realism
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfzE9DOg3YM
I'm getting pretty good at by complete accident blasting at someone as soon as I see them and hitting them in the legs so they're crippled and I can go and fuck with them since I do that to a guy and I try to get him to drop his axe so we can rape him but the cheeky cunt has a go at me so I blast him and stompleb actually opened up on him too which is still vegan since theres nothing more vegan than murdering humans and then barry calls out another player going into the school so I just run straight in there and dump fire on him making sure to aim over the dead guy whos stuck to me lmao and before I can loot him barry sees yet another guy going into our orange house so I run back over there let the clipz pop in him the ownage never ends with the legendary rubynet crew speaking of ownage stompleb tries to avenge his jewish ancestors by dropping a smoke grenade in the building to gas us but due to accurate realism it destroys the building lmao and then while I am showing stomple the bar he manages to catch a body himself when some nignog has a go at him up the stairs he lets the 1911 clap on him and then barry operates on someone from in the school and then I drop this body since it blocks me from accessing other peoples bags lol and I give stompleb my AKM mags for the rifle he got off the guy he killed and take the FN FAL he left on him so I can nighttime operate and then barry thinks its a funny idea to shoot at us and of course all the windows in the building smash instead of just one so I freak out and dont know where we're getting shot from but then another player actually does run by our building and we see barry take off after him and he chases him into the church where he expertly unloads into his head and it was Matthew Scott back for more ownage get fukkkt and then me and stomple go over and hang out in the church
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMnyxx7ymZE
after desecrating the church and paying remembrance to heidi the chicken I take stomple to the other firestation but a ladder throws him off the roof lmao and he lands on his feet and goes unconscious standing up due to realisms and after maximum fiddling I manage to bandage him and then drag him away uh to safety aheh but he wakes up as I'm dragging him which means [GLOW=black]I BREAK STOMPLES SPINE AND PARALYZE HIM FROM THE NECK DOWN SO HE CAN ONLY MOVE HIS HEAD[/GLOW]
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...f.png~original
and then I switch weapons to do the insane rape ritual that GETS STOMPLE STUCK TO ME LIKE SIAMESE TWINS and to test out troll tactics on him I try to feed him to a zombie but hes not too interested lmao and then I take him to the supermarket to buy some vegan food and I drop him behind the counter but he still can't move you know other than standing up and taking his gun out three times and falling over after that he cant move on his own accord other than move his head around lmao and then someone called Zack in the chat announces their pretense and I hear a tractor driving outside so I presume thats him and I run up and let the FN Fal rip into him but then stomple says Zack's sneaking up on him so I run back to find him standing over stomples paralyzed body that's like sitting up right ready to get his dick ridden and I yell GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING FRIEND OR ILL FUCKING KILL YOU and he hits the ground and he types in the chat "i mean no harm, wat i do" and I have to expertly shoot my load into his anus to avoid hitting stompleb due to this awful game putting bullets up and under where you're aiming all the time and for some reason my kill count is only 6 it should be 8 by now which I think is the highest kill count I've gotten in one life both what it will display and what I've actually gotten I guess it didnt count the guy who killed himself and maybe one of the guys barry and stomple put literally one bullet into while I was mag dumping at them got accredited to them and since stomple cant move his body at all I have to give him his morphine and then run back to get the tracker and I go on a lovely little joyride like 10 meters back to the supermarket backwards at negative 16 miles per hour before I start getting shot at and I crash it through the gate behind the supermarket and pass out but I can keep driving unconscious due to realism but as soon as I get out I stand there for no reason before dropping dead and then stomple tries to log out and back in but it doesnt help lmao so thats how to literally force people to kill themselves in dayz if raping them doesnt work and if they dont have a broken leg them they cant even respawn lmao so you can literally permanently turn someone into a paraplegic in DayZ forever unless they literally beg someone to kill them for them just like in real life and idk why his leg is still broken since I gave him his shot but fuck games and the game is being nice to us by respawning everyone in elektro and I grab an axe and use it to murder my second Adam and hopefully the same guy in the same firestation while running back to the store but by the time I get there he's given up on life and closed his game and gone to try and kill himself in real life shame he didn't succeed and then barry goes to bed and I am now home alone but since I'm a big boy with friends in real life my m8 comes and picks me up and we go to see probably one of the most inadvertently funny movies ever made The Dark Knight Rises which is about a big guy FOR YOU :bane: with a lovely singing voice who goes mobile in not a car he crashes with no survivors to be the reckoning of the city in ashes you have his permission to come back to die with because his girlfriend who he fell in love with when she was 9 years old and who cuckolds him told him to because her dad who she hated wanted to even though the cities not corrupt anymore thanks to them saying batman killed harvey dent even though they could have just said the joker did it who wasn't in the movie since he was too busy coming into our world and shooting a bunch of retarded white people who were clapping too much to hear the gunfire
