Ok bgd
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Ok bgd
getting shitfaced at home and provoking lisa is the only reason for this forum's existence imho
Quote:
Originally Posted by Battery Bits
I got drunk with my friends in the charity organization while we were raising over $10k to give to high school kids as scholarshipsQuote:
Originally Posted by Battery Bits
I'm home now because it's almost 2am and we worked all night
that seems to happen everyday, so either you're lying or lying. Sad loser.Quote:
Originally Posted by maks
lisa's best feature is she's the worst, so no matter how bad your life is you can still feel superior to herQuote:
Originally Posted by The father of lisa's dead baby
it's happened every friday and ssaturday for the last 2 weeksQuote:
Originally Posted by Battery Bits
Shame you'r really just a shit personQuote:
Originally Posted by maks
getting drunk in my living room by myself rn tbh, I did start my drinking playing pool in public with other human beings earlier tonight though so it's not so bad (also won like $100 bucks motherfuckers)
lisa best feature is that she's like an insane, female smarterchild. she's always online and up for talking shitQuote:
Originally Posted by maks
dude go to the dog park I've been meeting so much tail at the dog park it's insane I guess girls can tell I legit love my dog and also all dogs and it makes me irresisitable to themQuote:
Originally Posted by The father of lisa's dead baby
no. it's an illusion that she thrives on abuse. the right kind, at the right time, will send ger over the edge, I really believe that, I have tyo, because all I'm good at is doling out abuse and otherwiser I'm powerless and we'll never be rid of herQuote:
Originally Posted by The father of lisa's dead baby
like I've never really had problems meeting girls since after high school, but lately it's like I have more than I can handle, dude get a dog and go to the dog park and love your dog in front of girls I'm fucking telling youQuote:
Originally Posted by maks
don't have a dog, have been seeing a lot of raccoons lately because I overfill my trashcans and am an insomniac and smoke cigarettes in my driveway at 3 am and have srsly been considering catching one and keeping it as a pet, walking it around on a leash
LMAOQuote:
Originally Posted by maks
my dad had a pet racoon it would always brerak out of the cage and fuck up the kitchen they're too smart to be proper petsQuote:
Originally Posted by The father of lisa's dead baby
tried to tame one of them but yeah that's what I noticed, like however many hot dog pieces nad honey bunches of oats I'd feed him he'd still not let me pet him and would bite the shit outta my boots
it's the same with domesticated animals, you don't ever want to get a boarder collie they're too smart they get bored and rip up your shit you need a dumbass animal rthat will worship you like a god and sleep all day when you're at work and not around to order it not to eat your rugQuote:
Originally Posted by The father of lisa's dead baby
Dogs are great judges of characterQuote:
Originally Posted by The father of lisa's dead baby
boarder collies like yeah he's smarter than me but not by much he'll be mad but he's still gonna fucking feed me
my parents had a border collie when I was like 5, all I remember is that she was a cunt and would bite me when I tried to ride around on her like a pony, but she'd herd the cats into the corner like sheep and intimidate them into submission with a death stare and knew a bunch of elaborate tricks like backflips catching frisbees and shit
Lisa thought her mom was a cat :rofl:
dogs are the best aren't they
No because they piss on rims and ruin them
dogs are super fufcking cool, they evolved to be our friends our species have a contract of mutual respect and food and pets in exchange for companionship it's fucking aewsome
dogs own, way cooler than imaginary internet friends, actually like 90% sure that I might be schizophrenic or some shit and I have spent the last 6 years posting on here talking to figments of my imagination, dp is my nightmare skeleton, lisa is my nightmare witch, and I use cocaine and shrooms and acid too much and will die of a heart attack before I'm 30Quote:
Originally Posted by maks
anyways, there is an owl in my yard rn hacking up a pellet full of tiny animal bones, gonna try to take a video of it, mix it with cornball negro rap music, gel my hair and insert myself awkwardly into the video as the owl pukes up animal bones, gonna become a youtube celebrity
HEY GUYS, THIS IS RICKY FAGGOT WITH BUZZFEED.COM, CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO OF A COYOTE TAKING A DIARRHEA
+1 MILLION .5 VIEWS
I'd watch every minute of that especially if you ate the pellet