Counter-Strike Duel: Plug Drugs vs. rubycalaber 2: This Time It's Personal!
the sequel to the smash hit youtube video Counter-Strike Duel: Plug Drugs vs. rubycalaber and its hilarious megathread is here and THIS TIME... IT'S PERSONAL! Plug Drugs is back for revenge and out to clear his username by challenging me to a rematch and in the midst of much internet drama about marks accusing plug drugs of falling for the charms of e-seductress and baby murderer Lisa and betraying us to the lizards or some such shenanigans comedy master Autistic Spectrum suggests we make it a little interesting and since you always gotta go bigger for the sequel we both agreed to the following terms that would result in either plug drugs either officially joining the enemy or raining terror down on his former friends if he so chooses...
the stakes: if plug drugs wins I have to make him S-MOD... if I win I get to put him in the lizard tank... FOR LIFE!
a battle for redemption... a battle for loyalty... a battle for the forums... BEGINS!
the only rule: first to 15 kills wins!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF6sqXsDQ-8
ROUND 1
I literally hadnt played CSS since our last duel but I had played some CS:GO since then literally using a beta key some random dude who came in after that last duel gave me so I wasnt too bamboozled the problem was I had never played death match before so I didnt know the respawn system which I realized was shit since instead of just running straight at each other like the last game we had to hunt each other down since when you die you respawn at a random location and I didnt know the weapon buying system and literally the key to winning counter strike duels is buy the M249 so you can literally just hold down the trigger rand run at people for like four times as long which I figured out last time and Plug Drugs is using here but sadly I did not see the next option on the weapons list so had to rely on shitty assault rifles like the AK-47 and you can see in our first back and fourth down the streets having to reload fucked me over and let him ice me
SCORE: Plug Drugs 1 - 0 rubycalaber
ROUND 2
I barely have enough time to buy the Galil (more like the Gaylil) and check the score before he whips around a corner and kills me I presume he heard me buying my bullshit around the corner and knew I must be under that little alcove or he had a wallhack probably that
SCORE: Plug Drugs 2 - 0 rubycalaber
ROUND 3
then I see plug drugs down a long alley and give my position away spraying at him in shit video games you should always save the praying and spraying for when you're close enough if just hiding and holding it off is an option and yeah he seems to use the M249 throughout so that is the only reason he ever kills me he can mag dump for longer than I could fucking menu system have the best gun be on the first page motherfucker
SCORE: Plug Drugs 3 - 0 rubycalaber
ROUND 4
then I run straight back to where he killed me and he is up to some head glitching cod kiddy bullshit hiding behind a box this was before I realized that he didnt respawn every time I died the victor stays in place so I could have been running back to where he was the whole time but wasnt sure if he got ported off somewhere too and again not having 100 fucking bullets to dump fucks me over goddamn if I could go back in time and change one thing in my life it would be buy the fucking m249 and apparently if you kill someone four times thats you dominated them jokes on you m8 I'm gay and love getting dominated by men
SCORE: Plug Drugs 4 - 0 rubycalaber
ROUND 5
and before I can even stop screaming from the rustlage I spawn looking down straight at him so jump off this wall I'm on and fire 9 shots at him with the starting glock and then like an extreme pro gamer buy the Galil while running up the stairs and just as I take it out I jump off and blast it into him as I'm falling through the air get fucking pro gamered bitch and I broke his chain or something so now I'm Ruby Unchained and I'm going to kill all whites
SCORE: Plug Drugs 4 - 1 rubycalaber
speaking of racism I drop a reference to an 7 year old image macro I made about Ted Stevens stealing that bike in cs_italy
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...t.jpg:original
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...e.jpg:original
7 years... god, what am I doing with my life?!
ROUND 6
this is the round where I realize what you have to do is hold down shift to walk everywhere but it doesnt help since he can just mag dump on me with his m2cheating9
SCORE: Plug Drugs 5 - 1 rubycalaber
ROUND 7
THE RUSTLING LITERALLY WILL NOT STOP
SCORE: Plug Drugs 6 - 1 rubycalaber
ROUND 8
this is where I realized I was in serious trouble and I thought it was just because I had honestly played hundreds of hours of office back in 2005/2006 after each new episode of Lost aired I would listen to all the fan podcasts while playing office I would just join a 64 man server and keep running down the same halls blasting people because I knew where everyone was off by heart but this spawning anywhere bullshit was disorientating me
SCORE: Plug Drugs 7 - 1 rubycalaber
ROUND 9
then I figure out exactly how to piss off a piggy SWAT cop: kill the hostages and I manage to kill him but only because he had 4 hp lmao
SCORE: Plug Drugs 7 - 2 rubycalaber
ROUND 10
what fucked me over here was trying to jump back onto a ledge but I forgot in valve games you have to jump and crouch to get onto things like a fucking numpty
SCORE: Plug Drugs 8 - 2 rubycalaber
ROUND 11
heres where I begin to turn the tables by using the extremely skillful maneuver of running straight at him while holding down the trigger which makes him get audibly rustled and then I got the idea to just troll the fuck out of him so he'd get angry and reply back but then I realized I dont know this maps location names lmao oh well
SCORE: Plug Drugs 8 - 3 rubycalaber
ROUND 12
I come up with a cunning idea to set a trap by revealing my position by killing the hostages and then laying in wait I give special shoutout to internutt as I kill the gook hostage and as soon as I hear him coming I take my position the most illegitimate not fair place I could think of and it works!
SCORE: Plug Drugs 8 - 4 rubycalaber
ROUND 13
but he spawns close by and we have a bit of cat and mousan games until we see each other and I have to do a tactical retreat aka running away like a bitch nigga before he jumps down and owns me with his hacker gun and I come around the other way looking for him and manage to catch him creeping down the alleyway thinking I was still down there and I own him brutally thats how you kill people in the vidja use pro tactics to make it as unfun for them as possible
SCORE: Plug Drugs 8 - 5 rubycalaber
ROUND 14
and just as my confidence is starting to go up that I can win he spawns back in the house and I have to aim to get him in the windows which of course doesnt work and he just jumps down and kills me straight in the head clearly using an aimbot
SCORE: Plug Drugs 9 - 5 rubycalaber
ROUND 15
and then after a bunch of creeping about and namedropping elezzzark in a very respectful manner (no one tell him I made fun of how hes deaf and cant hear people creeping around in video games) we spot each other and unload at each other but only wing each other leaving me with 18 hp and I try headglitching behind a barrel but he wont come down the alley so I try to take him from behind through the apartments he was shooting out of which pans out well and I go quite apeshit since I had spent the whole game so far getting owned but now was finally catching up
SCORE: Plug Drugs 9 - 6 rubycalaber
ROUND 16
after realizing my strength is in-doors close quarters mag dumping I formulate a plan to do the most illegitimate unfun thing I can think of: sit in a corner waiting to shoot him as he comes through a chokepoint which works! you're in fucking trouble now m8y boi
SCORE: Plug Drugs 9 - 7 rubycalaber
ROUND 17
then I come up with the idea for an inter-forum counter-strike war where the lizards best gamers and our best gamers battle it out to see if they can be allowed to post wherever they like or fuck off for good too bad just getting one person to play a video game with you is a once in a year occurrence since the internet sucks and everyone is on at different times and is always busy with their fag real lives then as we do a bit more of skulking around looking for each other plug drugs starts whining about his latency which is 130 vs my 13 good job he has a hacker weapon to make up for it and when we finally find each other at the house I get fucked over by thinking I was behind cover when really I wasnt due to FPS games being shit since you think you can tell where your character is but really your arm is out of cover
SCORE: Plug Drugs 10 - 7 rubycalaber
ROUND 18
then I spawn back in the house and buy the same faggot Galil again and do a little running around in circles missing each other games as we both try to take each other up the back end and then he kills me even though I was clearly hitting him first I guess the m2fag9 also does more damage fucking cheater fuck
SCORE: Plug Drugs 11 - 7 rubycalaber
ROUND 19
and then I have the opportunity to read the fucking text next and buy a good fucking gun but I dont and think this is the only options and buy the ak-47 again which I cant tell the difference between that and the Galil and I namedrop the official sponsor of ruby megathreads http://thelegendaryfjscrew.com/ and I track him back to the house and do an extreme pro gamer move where I jump out the window and as I'm falling shoot him in the head for an epic achievement BOOM HEADSHOT BITCH!
SCORE: Plug Drugs 11 - 8 rubycalaber
ROUND 20
heres where I have to start thinking tactically aka illegitimately and not fun so I literally just camp at a window aiming at the two points he needs to come from to get into the house and just hoping I'd hear him if he came into it from the other one and I pray to my lord hitler in hell and my goddess summer glau for strength and just as I'm about to give up camping in one spot for hours on end I see him creeping down the alley and pick him off with a few quick bursts giving myself 9 kills to his 11 RUBY DID 9/11 thank you hitler! than you summer glau! prayer works and is real!
SCORE: Plug Drugs 11 - 9 rubycalaber
ROUND 21
and then I hear him spawning near by and coming in the house so I jump outside and as he comes up the stairs to my camping spot I unload at him thinking I got him in the head but then he just shoots down at me and immediately hits me in the head due to being better at games than me aka cheating
SCORE: Plug Drugs 12 - 9 rubycalaber
ROUND 22
I get my vengeance asap by spawning literally closer to him than I was when I died and I quickly buy my AK back with lightning fast jew reflexes and just dump fire on him as he thinks hes safe coming around the corner and I win another achievement for killing him 10 times since I got one for killing him after he'd got me 10 times in one round even though we're on round 22 you dumb game
SCORE: Plug Drugs 12 - 10 rubycalaber
ROUND 23
and just as I'm gaining confidence that I can overtake him he gets me in the head again with his hacker mega mag dumping cheater gun
SCORE: Plug Drugs 13 - 10 rubycalaber
ROUND 24
and then the one time I realize hes using the same fucking gun that I want the stupid fucking menu wont display for me thanks game I love playing video games that stop doing stuff for no reason when you dont want them to and I end up in the exact same spot and I try to just shoot through the walls at him but once again I get fucked over by having to reload and then I do the dumb thing of walking down the stairs so he can just move his cursor along and hit me straight in the head as I'm going down
SCORE: Plug Drugs 14 - 10 rubycalaber
ROUND 25
one more kill and plug drugs wins and gets to destroy rubynet with his mod powers omfg and even though plug drugs gives way his position by shooting at me as I go around a corner when I go to get jump he does the same pro move I did on him PLUG DRUGS JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW AND AS MY BULLETS FLY ALL AROUND HIM AND BLOWS MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT AS HE HITS THE GROUND OBLITERATING MY JIMMIES
SCORE: Plug Drugs 15 - 10 rubycalaber
WINNER: PLUG DRUGS
:siren:ALL HAIL SUPER MODERATOR PLUG DRUGS!!!:siren:
and then I do what any good sportsman does start whining and making excuses but jimmy rustling master Plug Drugs just soaks up my butthurt babby tears and I manage to avenge my rustling by stabbing him while giving a shoutout to siburke939 since the achievement I got for it said streetfighter or some shit but I still had to confirm that I would make him mod since a man(child) always keeps his word and those were the terms we agreed by so I have now made plug drugs mod after posting this thread as to not give away the winner and he has been good and not boasted about it and given out spoilers for my thread Angelea Preston from ANTM style so its not my fault if he starts perma banning everyone who was ever mean to him I tried to my best to lizard tank him
and remember! counter-strike or any vidja game duel challenges are always welcome, I'm hoping we can get a 2v1 or 2v2 situation going on, so dont be shy and post any games you have and would like to battle other posters in
stay tuned for epic new megathreads including two new podcasts, a groundbreaking new video series and an all new high octane counter-strike duel of DUSTIN VS. RUBYCALABER, all coming soon... only on RUBYNET!
