Super mundane :care: thread

I had some leftover shepherd's pie for lunch that I made a couple days ago and I was crying into it from loneliness and self-loathing, I thought to myself "Gabi, if there is ever a forumfag meetup you should cook for everyone so they like you" and I think you would all be impressed with how domestic I've become despite my complete lack of personality I could cook everyone roast chicken and veggies or steaks or even make a nice veggie lasagna for those of you who don't partake in the consumption of dead animal flesh I think it would be really wonderful and in conclusion I've decide to put off suicide until I feed you all :3

[maks]

you're going to have to come here because there's no way I'm traveling to the people's republic of canadia

I have a passport now I'm v. grown up

[maks]

come to mohegan sun in april I'm going to see def leppard not because I care about them at all but because my friend got comped tickets and I think it would be hilarious to watch poison and whitesnake opening for def leppard in 2017

[maks]

only way it could be more perfect is if journey and stryper showed up

I'm not that grown up that I know who those people even are
I'm actually just kidding I took my friend to Def Leppard a couple years ago but they're really just old as balls

[maks]

yeah I'm hoping the one armed drummer has a heart attack during I just died in your arms tonight or the final countdown or whatever the fuck song def leppard did

[maks]

I wish it was nena 99 luftballons fucking owns

I went to a Motley Crue concert and Tommy Lee did his flying drums thing and I was on the floor right so he goes right overhead of me and he dripped either sweat or saliva on me and that's the story of how I got 10 undiscovered strains of hepatitis

[maks]

probably urine to be honest it's impossible to wear depends under skin tight leather pants

[maks]

divided germany brought us nena, united germany brought us rammstein I think it's obvious we need the berlin wall back asap I hope trump is working on that

Either way I'm really depressed and would kill myself if I could but I don't own a gun and it would be such a process to get one and then I'm renting and really like my landlord so I don't want him to clean my brains off the wall or like leave bullet marks on them and I don't take any medication so I can't OD and if I wanted to find some I would have to go outside and meet a drug dealer which would be very hard because I'm really straight edge I guess I could just slice open my wrists and bleed out but again my landlord would probably have to clean it up which is just super rude and I would probably make the house smell terrible as I decomposed because no one would know I was even dead for weeks but I'm a really good cook and my cats love me

[maks]

there's your problem, you need to get rid of the cats and get a dog it does a lot for your self esteem when your pets actually like you and are happy that you feed them and give them a place to live

[maks]

a cat's idea of love is not smothering you in your sleep

Then maybe they don't love me </3

[maks]

they love you in their own way but given the chance they'd totally kill you so you need a dog to protect you from them when that day comes

[Battery Bits]

My cat loves me, she gives me kisses, we make out

They can kill me anytime now

[Battery Bits]

Mind my bed head

[maks]

They can kill me anytime now

show a sign of weakness, you won't last the day

I literally sit in bed and cry all day except for when I'm eating like why cats why

[maks]

crying is a sign of aggression to cats try masturbating they'll think you're prey and rip your throat out before you can even finish googling pictures of alan thicke or whoever the fuck canadian girls find sexy

Okay brb

[maks]

is it william shatner? michael j fox? rick moranis?

Alanis Morisette

[maks]

yeah he's p hot I guess

[maks]

not the first you can't do that on television alumni I've rubbed one out to, won't be the last

[maks]

holy shit allister when you were all "what do you think's in the burgers' I swooned hard as fuck

Have you seen our fucking prime minister I'm pretty sure I gave myself friction burn

[maks]

rob ford? I guess he's got kind of a chris farley thing going on