food thread

Brisket Summer Rolls With Sriracha-Barbecue Mayonnaise
http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1...cue-mayonnaise



INGREDIENTS
FOR THE BARBECUE MAYONNAISE:
½ cup mayonnaise
¼ cup barbecue sauce
Lime juice, to taste
Sriracha, to taste
FOR THE ROLLS:
1 block (about 7 ounces) rice vermicelli
¼ teaspoon salt
8 to 12 rice-paper wrappers for summer rolls, about 8 1/2 inches wide
8 sprigs mint, leaves picked off
8 sprigs Thai basil or basil, leaves picked off
Pickled carrots and daikon (do chua), homemade or fresh or jarred from Vietnamese markets
¾ to 1 pound barbecued beef brisket, thickly sliced
½ cup thinly sliced red cabbage
16 sprigs cilantro
Whole lettuce leaves
PREPARATION
MAKE THE BARBECUE MAYONNAISE:
Combine mayonnaise and barbecue sauce, and stir until smooth. Season to taste with lime juice and sriracha, and set aside. (Can be made 1 day ahead and refrigerated.)
MAKE THE ROLLS:
Put the rice vermicelli in a large bowl. Cover with boiling water, add the salt and let soak, swishing occasionally, until soft but still resilient, 3 to 5 minutes. Drain in a colander and rinse under cold water until the water runs clear. Let drain for at least 30 minutes, or spread on a plate and refrigerate for up to 2 hours.
When ready to serve, set out all the ingredients on a clean surface. Half-fill a bowl wide enough to fit the wrappers with lukewarm water. Place 1 wrapper in the water and pat it, gently bending to test, until pliable but not completely soft. Shake off excess water and lay the wrapper down.
Place a straight line of mint and basil leaves across the circle, about 2 inches up from the bottom edge. Plump up that line with a small clump of vermicelli, a pinch of do chua and 1/8 of the brisket. Drizzle a scant teaspoon of barbecue mayonnaise over the meat. Finish with red cabbage and 2 cilantro sprigs.
Bring bottom edge of wrapper tightly up over the filling, then fold the sides in to cover. Continue to roll upward, tightly but gently, and place finished rolls on a plate, seam-side down. Repeat with remaining rolls. Cover rolls with lettuce leaves to keep them fresh. Serve as soon as possible.

Ojai Stumple Vegan Green Chili Mac n Cheese
http://minimalistbaker.com/vegan-gre...-mac-n-cheese/



10 ingredient, 30 minute vegan mac n cheese infused with green chili and topped with crispy baked crushed tortilla chips!
Author: Minimalist Baker
Recipe type: Pasta
Cuisine: Vegan
Serves: 4

10 ounces large macaroni shells (gluten free for GF eaters | I used pipe rigate)
1/2 white onion, diced
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup raw cashews, soaked for 4-6 hours or overnight, then drained
1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1 Tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp cumin
3/4 tsp chili powder
2 Tbsp nutritional yeast
1 4-ounce can diced chills (scoop half into the sauce, reserve half for the finished mac n cheese)
Optional: 1 cup tortilla chips, fresh cilantro for topping

If topping with tortilla chips, crush chips into fine crumbs and add to a baking pan lined with parchment paper or foil. Spritz with olive or canola oil, sprinkle with salt and stir, then bake in a 350 degree F oven for 10 minutes or until golden brown.
Boil macaroni according to package instructions.
In a medium skillet over medium-low heat, sautee onion and garlic in a bit of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper, stir and cook until soft and fragrant – about 7 minutes. Set aside.
Add onions and garlic to a blender with remaining ingredients, omitting the tortilla chips and adding only half of the green chilies. Blend until smooth, using the “liquify” setting if you have it to get it really smooth. Otherwise just blend for up to a minute, scraping down sides as necessary, until smooth and creamy.
Drain the noodles, set aside and cover (with a towel). To the same pot you boiled the noodles in, add the cashew cheese and cook on low stirring frequently until slightly thickened.
Add the macaroni noodles to the cheese, along with the remaining green chilies and stir. Serve immediately, topping with crushed toasted tortilla chips and cilantro (optional).

"Doufeu" Beef Brisket
http://nancyvienneau.com/blog/recipe...isket-of-beef/



Brisket of Beef
2-3 T. Olive Oil
6 lb. Brisket, trimmed of excess fat
Kosher Salt
Cracked Black Pepper
Paprika
3-4 Onions, sliced
2-3 Garlic cloves, minced

½ cup red wine
½ cup ginger ale
½ cup chili sauce

Heat Doufeu on low. Add olive oil. Rub trimmed brisket with salt, black pepper and paprika.
Brown the brisket on both sides and remove.
Add about ½ of the sliced onion and sauté for a few minutes. Lay the brisket on top of the bed of onions. Pour over red wine and ginger ale. Spread the chili sauce over the top of the brisket, sprinkle with minced garlic and remaining sliced onions. Cover with lid, fill with ice, and turn heat down to lowest setting.

After 3 hours, remove lid, flip over the brisket. Cover and cook for about 2 more hours.
Meat will feel very tender when pierced with a fork. When done, remove brisket.
Slice brisket thinly, across the grain, and lay out on a serving platter. Cover with hot oniony gravy and serve.

wait, ice or rice?

ice

Momofuku Crack Pie
http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/reci...crack-pie.html



NGREDIENTS

CRACK PIE:
1/4 cup butter
1 recipe Oat Cookie (recipe follows)
1 1/2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 recipe Crack Pie Filling (recipe follows)
dusting of confectioner's sugar
OAT COOKIE:
1/2 cup butter
1/3 cup light brown sugar, tightly packed
3 Tablespoons sugar
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup + 1 tablespoon flour
1 cup rolled oats
scant 1/8 teaspoon baking powder
pinch baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
FILLING FOR CRACK PIE:
1 cup butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup light brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup milk powder
3/4 cup + 2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
8 egg yolks
DIRECTIONS

To make pie:
Heat the oven to 350 degrees.

In a microwave, gently melt your butter on a med/low setting for 15-30 seconds. Let it cool until it is not hot to the touch before proceeding.

Put the oat cookie, brown sugar and salt in the food processor and pulse it on and off until the cookie is broken down into a wet sand. (If you don't have a food processor, you can fake it till you make it and crumble the oat cookie diligently with your hands.)

Transfer the cookie crumbs to a bowl and, with your hands, knead the butter and ground cookie mixture until the contents of the bowl are moist enough to knead into a ball. If it is not moist enough to do so, gently melt and additional 15-25g of butter and knead it into the oat crust mixture. Divide the oat crust evenly over two 10" pie tins (two pies is always better than one).

Using your fingers and the palm of your hand, press the oat cookie crust firmly into both 10-inch pie shells. Make sure the bottom and the walls of the pie shells are evenly covered. Use the pie shells immediately or, wrapped well in plastic, store the pie shells at room temperature for up to 5 days or in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Place both pie shells on a 1/2 sheet pan. Divide the crack pie filling evenly over both crusts. The filling should fill the crusts 3/4 way full. And bake at 350F for 20 minutes. During this time, the crack pie will still be very jiggly, but should become golden brown on top. Know your oven, which corners bake your cookies or pies lighter or darker and take these nooks into consideration when placing your pies in the oven-use the shelf and corners that brown your baked goods best.

At 20 minutes, open the oven door and reduce the baking temperature to 325F Depending on your oven this will take 5-10 minutes-keep the pies in the oven during this process. When the oven reads 325F, close the door and finish baking the crack pie for 5 minutes.

At 5 minutes, the crack pie should still be jiggly in the bulls eye center, but not in the outer center circle. If the crack pie is still too jiggly, leave the pies in the oven an additional 5 minutes in the 325F oven.

Gently take the half sheet pan of crack pies out of the oven and transfer to a rack to cool at room temperature. You can speed up the cooling process by carefully transferring the pies to the fridge or freezer if you're in a hurry. Freeze your pie for as little as 3 hours or overnight to condense the filling for a dense final product-the signature of a perfectly executed crack pie.

Wrap the crack pies if you are not serving them right away. Decorate your pies with 10x through a fine sieve or the pinch of your fingers.

To make oat cookie:
Heat the oven to 350F.

In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, cream butter and sugars on medium high for 2 to 3 minutes until fluffy and pale yellow in color. Scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl with a spatula.

On a lower speed, add egg to incorporate. Increase the speed back up to a medium high for 1 to 2 minutes until the sugar granules fully dissolve and the mixture is a pale white color.

On a lower speed, add the flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix 60-75 sec until your dough comes together and all remnants of dry ingredients have incorporated. Your dough will still be a slightly fluffy, butter fatty mixture in comparison to your average cookie dough. Scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl with a spatula.

Pam spray and line a quarter sheet pan with parchment or a Silpat. Plop the oat cookie dough in the center of the pan and with a spatula, spread it out until it is 1/4" thick. The dough won't end up covering the entire pan, this is okay. Bake the oat cookie at 350F for 15 minutes.

Cool completely before using in the crack pie recipe.

To make filling:
In a microwave, gently melt the butter down in 15-second intervals. Make sure it is not hot to the touch.

In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment on low speed, mix together the dry ingredients until they are evenly distributed. If you try to mix the crack pie filling in on any higher than a low speed, you will incorporate too much air in the following steps and your pie will not be dense an gooey- the essence of the crack pie.

Add the melted butter to the mixer and paddle until all the dry ingredients are moist.

Add the heavy cream and vanilla and mix until the white from the cream has completely disappeared into the mixture. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula.

Add the egg yolks to the mixer, paddling them in to the mixture just to combine. Be careful not to aerate the mixture.

© Recpie courtesy David Chang, Momofuku

DIY Thai Coconut Curry Shrimp Flavor Instant Noodles
http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/09/d...-food-lab.html



Ingredients



Directions

Bengali Mishti Doi /Lal Doi/Red Sweetened Yogurt
http://www.hamareerasoi.com/2012/05/...sweetened.html



Ingredients:
1 ltr Full cream milk
3 tbsp Sugar
3 tbsp DemeraraSugar
2 tbsp plain Yogurt (should have Active Bacterial Culture)
4 Earthen pots


Method:
Heat milk in a heavy bottomed pan, stir continiously. After the first boil, add sugar and keep stirring, boil until the amount is reduced to half. By this time milk will be thick and light brown in color. Remove from pan and let it cool down for 5-10 minutes. In another pan melt 3 tbsp demerara sugar with 1 tbsp water and keep stirring. Keep an eagle's eye on this, allow it to turn light brown in color,caramel is ready to be added in milk for light brown color of sweetened curd. Add this caramel to the milk and mix thoroughly. Keep this back on heat for 5 more minutes. Now let this cool down to room temperature, add curd and stir just once. Pour this liquid into the earthen pots, cover and keep them in warm place to set. In between do not move the pots while the fermenting process, it is done to to prevent the breaking up of curd. Leave these pots for overnight (minimum 10 hours) and then you can keep them in fridge to enjoy chilled lal doi.

Monde you are weird

.........................m0nde didn't fly to AUS to try and fuk a demon bitch with his broke dik.

somebody had to take over for internutt....

Lomo Saltado
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/peruvian-lomo-saltado/



Original recipe makes 4 servings
1 (16 ounce) package frozen French fries
vegetable oil as needed
1 pound beef tri tip, sliced 1/8 to 1/4 inch thick
salt and pepper to taste
1 large onion, sliced into strips
3 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and sliced into strips
1 yellow chili pepper (preferably Peruvian aji amarillo)
1/4 cup distilled white vinegar
1 dash soy sauce to taste
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Directions
Prepare the bag of French fries according to package directions.
While the French fries are cooking, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Season the sliced meat with salt and pepper to taste. Fry the meat until just cooked, and the juices begin to release. Remove the meat from the frying pan, then cook the onions, with additional oil if needed, until they are transparent. Stir in the tomato and aji amarillo; cook until the tomato softens. Pour in the vinegar and soy sauce, add the French fries, cover, and cook until the beef is done, about 3 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and sprinkle with chopped parsley to serve.

[juji]

Do you cook with electric oven or gas oven?

here I have electric

clay oven

Lomo Saltado
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/peruvian-lomo-saltado/



Original recipe makes 4 servings
1 (16 ounce) package frozen French fries
vegetable oil as needed
1 pound beef tri tip, sliced 1/8 to 1/4 inch thick
salt and pepper to taste
1 large onion, sliced into strips
3 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and sliced into strips
1 yellow chili pepper (preferably Peruvian aji amarillo)
1/4 cup distilled white vinegar
1 dash soy sauce to taste
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Directions
Prepare the bag of French fries according to package directions.
While the French fries are cooking, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Season the sliced meat with salt and pepper to taste. Fry the meat until just cooked, and the juices begin to release. Remove the meat from the frying pan, then cook the onions, with additional oil if needed, until they are transparent. Stir in the tomato and aji amarillo; cook until the tomato softens. Pour in the vinegar and soy sauce, add the French fries, cover, and cook until the beef is done, about 3 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and sprinkle with chopped parsley to serve.

ok this looks fucking good and pretty much anyone can do it but i'd substitute ore-ida onion tater tots for the fries.

or even better, mrs t's cheddar perogies MMMMMMMM

[jon]

Lisa Pie

[jon]

topped with Whipped RootBeer

[jon]

i think this forum already knows the recipe

Hard to belive m0nde has been back nearly a week no... fells like just yesterday

[jon]

I am an asshole, I constantly judge and critique people. I say mean things about people I don't know for a laugh. I judge other harshly and critically, yet I dislike most of my own traits. I am self-loathing, depressed, apathetic, and yet I think I am better then those around me.

I have nothing to back this inflated sense of superiority, It is just easy to disregard those around you as worse then myself. I am in constant self-reflection and rumination about my self identity and what I am doing with my life, yet I can never seem to get anywhere.

I want to make changes and improvements but I never follow through, comfort is king in my life it seems. I don't know if I suffer from an actual acute depression or I am just being a pussy. I have anxiety about my future constantly, yet I do nothing, which leads me to more anxiety and depression. It seems to be a vicious cycle of self-defeat that I can never seem to break.

I wish I could overcome myself.

ok the rep comment was pretty funny, but how many huge black dicks and how many black men's pics did you make eye contact with to get there?

someone is mad.

Spicy Beef Chili
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/s...li-recipe.html



Ingredients
1 pound coarsely ground beef chuck
1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1/2 teaspoon dried sage leaves
1 clove garlic, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 shallot, chopped
1 red bell pepper, seeded, chopped
1/2 jalapeno pepper, halved, seeded chopped
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon ground chipotle pepper, or to taste
Salt, to taste
1 cup Gallo burgundy wine
1 (16 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
1 (16 ounce) cans black beans, drained and rinsed
1 (16 ounce) bag corn chips

Directions
In a medium, hot soup pot brown the chuck with the thyme, sage and garlic. When browned remove and drain beef. Set aside. In the same pot heat the oil and add the onion, garlic, shallot, red bell pepper and jalapeno. Saute until vegetables begin to brown, about 7 to 10 minutes. Add chili powder, cayenne pepper, chipotle pepper, salt and cook, stirring, until spices begin to stick to the pan. Add Gallo burgundy and cook until liquid is reduced by 1 half. Add tomatoes and bring to a boil. Stir in beans and reserved beef and simmer, partially covered, over medium low heat for 1 hour. Serve with corn chips. Chili may be made, up to 2 days in advance and kept covered and refrigerated. Reheat to serve.

do you have a recipe for chocolate laval cake?

do you have a recipe for not being a virgin

do you have a recipe for chocolate laval cake?

stumple's vegan laval nozzle chocolate cake with a gooey centre spelled with an re instead of er
http://minimalistbaker.com/vegan-chocolate-lava-cakes/



INGREDIENTS
scant 1/4 cup beet puree (or sub unsweetened apple sauce)
1/4 cup unsweetened almond milk + 1/2 tsp vinegar
 or lemon juice
2.5 Tbsp organic cane sugar (or sub granulated sugar)
1 Tbsp melted coconut oil or Earth Balance
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp baking powder
pinch sea salt
2 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup + 1/2 Tbsp unbleached all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp semisweet chocolate chips, melted
For topping/middle: 2 squares quality vegan dark chocolate + coconut whipped cream

INSTRUCTIONS
See this post for instructions on roasting a beet. Otherwise, you could sub another fruit puree, such as butternut squash or applesauce (adjusting added sugar depending on fruit's sweetness).
Butter two standard size muffin tins with dairy-free butter and coat with cocoa powder - shake out excess. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Add the almond milk and vinegar to a small mixing bowl and mix. Let set for a few minutes to activate.
Add the sugar, oil, vanilla, and beet puree and beat until foamy. Then add cocoa powder, flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix until no large lumps remain.
Lastly, add the melted semisweet chocolate and mix once more.
Divide the batter evenly between the two muffin tins - it should come up about to the top, which is OK. Break up one square of the dark chocolate and push it down into the centers of the cakes. Cover with batter using a spoon. Bake 15-20 minutes, or until the edges have pulled away slightly and the top no longer appears wet. It's OK if it's a little fudgy but you definitely don't want underdone cake.
Let rest in the pan for 4-5 minutes before removing. Then gently loosen the edges with a butter knife and top with a cutting board or plate and carefully invert. Gently transfer to serving plates. Immediately top each cake with the remaining square of vegan dark chocolate (for extra gooey-ness - optional) and serve with coconut whipped cream. Dig in.
Other garnishes might include a dusting of cocoa powder, powdered sugar, fresh berries, fresh mint or edible flowers.

[timmy]

do you have a recipe for not being a virgin

I would also like to know this recipe