Quote Originally Posted by Obnoxious Bitch View Post
"Hammer" sure isn't a fitting nickname for the old, wrinkly, dried up, thing you have hanging between your legs.
At least he has a wrinkled, dangling thing between his legs. Now, let's analyze that awful picture of you that we've all seen.

You are fucking hideous. Your teeth are jacked up, your hair is thinning(assuming it's not a wig), not to mention your tit job looks like it was done with a broken beer bottle. Your eyebrows are way too thick, your cheek bones are too low, your lips are bulbous and infected looking, not to mention those big, fucked up gorilla arms you have. I know that hormone treatment takes a while to kick start, so I'm sure you still have stocky man hips that rub together, warming up that cottage cheese-esque cellulite that bakes in those nasty spandex you sport.

Now, let's talk about that hubby of yours. He's just as fucked up, if not even more fucked up for finding a positive in your flaws. There's no way this guy can sleep at night, knowing a backyard genitalia slasher job creeps into his bed every night. What's more pathetic is, he's been on the love scene for way too long, had his midlife crisis too early, and decided to settle down with a wretched gender-bender like you. Have either of you even had sex? It must get boring, staring at the back of a brown paper bag while he corn-holes you whenever you're not constipated, sitting at home all day, eating in front of the television, waiting to spend what little money this fucker makes at his minimum wage job.

If those hormones are inhibiting the above, I'll sum it up: You're a fat, nasty, unattractive, parasitic, big-boned, dumpy asshole; to call you anything less would be a compliment. Don't let anyone tell you different.