bob, let me be honest, i think youre making your problem with drugs out to be this monstrous insolvable ultimatum, and in doing so you're giving your addiction the power to still ruin your life even after the drugs are gone.
You're putting your addiction up on a pedestal, stop it, just want something better for yourself, don't measure things in terms of how high they get you, just stop ittSTOPSPP SOTOPPPTIOpasotopsidrpfsditr