cag your mom loved you, she gave you away to your grandparents because she knew they could provide a better life for you then she ever could, sure she had a lot of problems, but she was still your mom and she still loved you very much, the burtal murder of your mother is something you are going to have to work though eventutally, when you are ready to talk it out, just remeber i'll be here for you. because i'm your friend lmao