I am the Troll thy God which have brought thee out of the land of Google, out of the house of Android to the land of Microsoft.
Thou shalt have no intelligent search assistant save Cortana
Thou shalt not use any mobile device save a Tegra Note
Thou shalt farm the rich manna of $20/mo from pork.tv for Walmart gift cards are sacred
Remember Dashlane and let it keep thy passwords
Dishonour thy mother and thy grandmother's name
Thou shalt not work
Thou shalt remain celibate
Thou shalt steal from the pockets of thy neighbours
Thou shalt never bring to completion any project thou hast started
Thou shalt covet thy neighboring forum's picture names
Thou shalt delete thy forum randomly in a depressive spiral
FJS shalt be my forum and it shall win again