On Faggotry and Blowjobs

My cats run to me no matter how long I've been gone on a job

I've always had talking cats because I talk to my cats and you know if you talk to them enough they start to parrot a few words which is super cute but really freaked out a couple of my friends. I remember once I went to visit my grandparents and I was at uni living in a share house and I asked the big black chick Wendy to look after Jazz for me.... when I came home Wendy came running up to me almost screaming at me that apparently my cat walked into her room and said, "Hello Wendy".... she was completely convinced of this but I can't verify that one as I wasn't there... another time I had a skinny white chick friend come visit me when I had a flat inspection and I had to put Jazz in the car and drive her around the corner to hide her as I was not meant go have a pets there and we were in the car and clear as freaking day Jazz spoke the clearest she ever spoke, she was all stressed out about being in the car and she said so clearly that for a minute I thought there was a little girl in the back of the car "Lisa help"... I'm not joking and my friend was so freaked out she demanded that I pull over and ran out of the car, she was shit scared that my cat talked... I have to admit it shocked me that one. But she would talk all the time, she would say "I love you", "coming up?" And these kind of phrases that I would say to her often. I think any cat given enough time will talk if you treat it right and talk to it a lot.
But animals love me, animals know a sucker when they see one.