How about standing up and organising your life properly Lisa and stop using the poor me card and abusive nature you've developed during your teens. A nice person will always have freinds and partners who are also good people. I hope one day you actually see the sense in what I'm saying. Don't look back at the past and drag it into your future. If you do, you won't have a future you will always be living in the past. Good luck. You can be a sensible woman and I not only saw that but also admired it.