God is gay. So sayeth the Lord, "Look upon me and vow to post without shame, for thou shalt lay thine mind bare before thine Master, thy Lord."
And so, on the first day of thy servitude, thou hast chosen thine path, a path of certainty. My minion Marko, him of the gaped rosebud, forever seeking the member of the black man, full to the brim of the seed of the negro, he shalt lead ye to salvation. Do the opposite of him that seeketh the rough touch of the dark brute. He shalt lead ye to enlightenment. Do the opposite of him that posteth shit in the forum of cringe. He shalt lead ye to peace. Do the opposite of him that is easily triggered.
So sayeth thy Lord.