plug drugs' underlying depression thread

[maks]

yes, most marriages fail. it's closer to 2/3 than 1/2.
the reason so many fail is because too many people are getting married that should know better. of the marriages that end in divorce, either they are precipitated by insolvency or unfaithfulness or they were doomed before they even began. out of the marriages that last for life, both people change but still stay together. some work their problems out, the rest are obviously bad marriages that do nobody any good - codependencies so strong that not even divorce can cure them.

im not trying to convince plugdrugs to rush out and get married
i'm trying to help him see that he wouldn't have a chance in hell of making any marriage or even a LTR work in the state he's in - particularly if he were to shoot for someone like lisa, as an example

Why should he be looking for or expecting a relationship? If he wants someone to hang with he should look for someone to hang with, and let it take its course and see where it goes. It's not difficult to find a girl if you're not looking for something that doesn't exist like some utopian idealized 'perfect match' so even in his current state he shouldn't have much trouble, shit with some girls being a junkie can actually work in his favor.

that doesn't mean addicts don't always recover. many don't, but some work the situation out with healthy, happy results.

know what's happier is not getting in that situation to begin with