this is what i can take from this post:
you have some anxiety about being viewed as "cool", and are frustrated at the apparent chase of the "cool"
your father was bad (so was mine, ask about it)
you're super passive aggressively communicating that all the things in your post are things that this society views as positive and beneficial (it's not the truth)
you were bullied in your youth
you feel life is treating you unfairly
you want to talk about any of those things? i felt the same way at one point, still do about some of those things.