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    #1
    sex with dead people
    king steveyos
    Quote Originally Posted by maks View Post
    girls
    My mom always did her own car work. Bitches these days are pansies
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    #2
    Senior Member terror baby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sex with dead people View Post
    My mom always did her own car work. Bitches these days are pansies
    I want to learn how to do my own oil change, I think I'll probably learn how to do it myself next time my car needs one.
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    #3
    friends with english jon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tumor baby View Post
    I want to learn how to do my own oil change, I think I'll probably learn how to do it myself next time my car needs one.
    just look on youtube

    - warm engine up, drive around the block
    - drive up onto ramps
    - you should to put drain pan under car and aim it so the oil stream won't miss
    - loosen the drain plug bolt's influences
    - push bolt in towards pan while threading it out to oil hold back. when it will come free, yank it out of the way all in one smooth motion
    - slide drain pan forward as the oil stream slows down
    - when oil is trickling or stopped, return the plug bolt, torque the bolt head to the common and current specification
    - slide drain pan foward underneath the oil filter
    - loosen oil filter with an oil filter wrench
    - remove filter by hand, pour it out into the drain pan
    - take one finger and get a little bit of dirty oil on the tip
    - that's right
    - just like that
    - run your dirty whore finger around the rubber gasket on the new dry oil filter where it mates to the block
    - hand tighten the filter in place, then give it a 1/4 turn further with the oil filter wrench
    - wipe the underbody of the oil filter and the drain plug bolt with a cloth so that no oil droplets are present
    - remove dipstick
    - pour a spath of oil into the system
    - get back down underneath and check for the formation of oil droplets, leaks, etc.
    - fill system just shy of the maximum qty in the specification
    - start car, drive off the ramps onto flat surface
    - wait for engine to fully cool
    - check dipstick, top off system to spec
    - write down in logbook which car, the date, mileage, oil brand and weight
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    #4
    le Gentleman Doli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jon View Post
    just look on youtube

    - warm engine up, drive around the block
    - drive up onto ramps
    - you should to put drain pan under car and aim it so the oil stream won't miss
    - loosen the drain plug bolt's influences
    - push bolt in towards pan while threading it out to oil hold back. when it will come free, yank it out of the way all in one smooth motion
    - slide drain pan forward as the oil stream slows down
    - when oil is trickling or stopped, return the plug bolt, torque the bolt head to the common and current specification
    - slide drain pan foward underneath the oil filter
    - loosen oil filter with an oil filter wrench
    - remove filter by hand, pour it out into the drain pan
    - take one finger and get a little bit of dirty oil on the tip
    - that's right
    - just like that
    - run your dirty whore finger around the rubber gasket on the new dry oil filter where it mates to the block
    - hand tighten the filter in place, then give it a 1/4 turn further with the oil filter wrench
    - wipe the underbody of the oil filter and the drain plug bolt with a cloth so that no oil droplets are present
    - remove dipstick
    - pour a spath of oil into the system
    - get back down underneath and check for the formation of oil droplets, leaks, etc.
    - fill system just shy of the maximum qty in the specification
    - start car, drive off the ramps onto flat surface
    - wait for engine to fully cool
    - check dipstick, top off system to spec
    - write down in logbook which car, the date, mileage, oil brand and weight
    lmao
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    #5
    le Gentleman Doli's Avatar
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    Jon's Guide to Seduction and Oil Changing
    14.99 c Barnam Books
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    #6
    Senior Member terror baby's Avatar
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    - run your dirty whore finger around the rubber gasket on the new dry oil filter where it mates to the block
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    #7
    :magpi: Howard Dean's Avatar
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    a spath of oil
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