OK heres a legitimately funny post, at least to me:

Yesterday im taking a shit when suddenly i felt a spider crawling on my balls, and im terrified of spiders, so i jumped up off the toilet with piss spraying everywhere but there was no spider. then i felt my balls and they were all wet, i realized im just finally at the age where my balls hang lower than the head of my cock and i had in fact pissed on my balls while shitting for the first time ever. then i had to clean up piss off the floor.

now laugh at my pain damned you all.