it is unsolvable, and the worst part is i did it to myself. what's even worse is all the people who are able to use substances without abusing them, they got some kind of bonus that i didn't get. it's completely fucking unfair, yet -- honestly -- i don't care. it's finally not worth getting upset over anymore.
i am not defined by my mistakes, but i don't pretend they never happened, because i will be learning from those mistakes and using them to improve myself and my quality of life for the rest of my life. sometimes i feel bad for fucked up people who never got addicted, because recovery is so much more than how to stay clean, it provides incredibly useful tools for learning to live happy, joyous and free.
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07-19-2013
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