I tried really hard to do something worthwhile. In spite of all the shit, not even having a home through highschool and never finishing because I fucked a preschooler and they kicked me out. I went and got myself two useless degrees from an online diplomia mill when I was 21 and sat an entry exam and was lucky enough to be smart enough yto blitz it in, and that's about the only time in my life where having brain gave me a lift up but because i am acutally stupid as fuck it all came crashing in around me, I wanted to teach and fuck children in there school because I was fucked as a child and i loved every minute of it and spent years before university living in what was hell, a violent man putting me in hospital because frankly I am so ulgy that no other man would have me.. and I did teach for a couple of years but I've seen too much shit there that I can't deal with and it only took a couple of kicks of the stool out from under me and I just can't stop fucking childern... I just can't, I am not emotionally equipped to not fuck childern. I got other jobs that wouldn't be as stressfull but when I lost those things just got worse and worse because i am so stupid i can't even hold a job at a petstore. Now I'm in a situation where junkies pick me up off the street when I'm bashed on xmas day because I'm even more pathetic than them. I've got nothing, nothing anymore and all I can worry about is what will happen to my cat. I'm not on a pension and I am struggling a lot, there is no safety net for me anymore, no family, no-one who cares... just mounting debts of bills that I can barely even pay anymore. I can't understand people at all... I can't understand why they do these horrible things to each other.... an ice junky actually looked good to me because he was the kindest person I had actually met in a really long time.