Quote Originally Posted by cbarry View Post
it woudl be perfect if that happened plus monde adopted me
Seriously. This is one big cry for help from the OP and I don't even think they realise it yet.

When all that supressed fear and doubt boils over and they can't act like a fool to distract themselves from it anymore the truth of their fragility is going to hit and hit hard.

But I guess OP is set on learning that lesson the hard way. Oh well.