I remember babysitting one of the neighbor's 10 year old a few years ago and i couldn't stand the kid he was combative, disrespectful and just mad at the world so finally i started showing up wasted out of my mind on opium and oxy and xanax and one fo the last times i babysat him he was like "why do you look so sleepy? are ya fucked up?" and i'm like "what if i am?" and he's like "i want to get high!" and i was like "idk kid you'll just tell on me or do something stupid and get us found out". Well then the kid was like "you better give me some drugs or i'm telling my mom that you touch my penis!" and i knew i was pretty much fucked because it doesn't matter who you are or who you know, if a kid accuses you of molestation then your character is executed before you even get a chance to speak to a lawyer so i was like "fine but it's just going to make you sick". Well long story short i went up the street to get the rest of the opium i had and brought it back over to the kid's house and i'm like "okay swallow this chunk of brown shit don't chew it don't try to taste it and in 30 minutes we will watch shrek and the colors will seriously blow you the fuck away" so he did and i put a shrek dvd on. The kid started giggling then he was just transfixed on the screen and i knew he was feeling it big time before his little head started to droop. I asked him how he was feeling and he said something i'll never forget, he goes "I'm really jealous of you and want to be you when i grow up" and i'm like "seriously? i'm 28 and unmarried and living with my parents (etc)" and he's like "Yeah but nobody else would do this with me the kids at school all hate me" and i told him how all the kids at school hated me too when i was his age and we got to talking about all kinds of shit and he was really profound for some little punk kid. I showed him how to do algebra and helpd him with his science homework and i was surprised how smart he was, i told him if he wanted to be like me then start doing his fucking homework on time and he could get all A's".
That was the first time I realised i wanted to be a father some day, but looking back on that night now i feel horrible because that kid's probably going to grow up to be a junkie because of me. That famiyl moved away and we never kept in touch, I hope that kid doesn't have any other drug connects and is still doing his science homework.