if youve ever been home alone which im sure is rare because most of your moms dont have day jobs

[Chronic Munchies]

how small is your dick to fit in a gogurt wrapper? i'm not judging you because i would have probably fucked a cantaloupe if given the opportunity while younger if i could have just come up with a good alibi for the missing melon

saying you ate it just wouldn;t fly, everyone would have looked at you and thought "yeah right, I know he fucked it"