BREAKING NEWS: The Ultimate Warrior is dead

[the president of sex]

How must I prepare, you must ask yourself. Should I jump off the tallest building in the world? Should I lay on the lawn and let them run over me with lawn-mowers? Should I go to Africa and let them trample me with raging elephants?


In my final meeting with the gods from the heavens above, they spoke to me and hit me with the power of the Ultimate Warrior. They told me: action stage left, action stage right. There is no place to run, all the fuses in the exit signs have burnt out.


Aaaaarrgghhh, you can feel it dude. You can feel it!

How must I prepare, you must ask yourself. Should I jump off the tallest building in the world? Should I lay on the lawn and let them run over me with lawn-mowers? Should I go to Africa and let them trample me with raging elephants?


In my final meeting with the gods from the heavens above, they spoke to me and hit me with the power of the Ultimate Warrior. They told me: action stage left, action stage right. There is no place to run, all the fuses in the exit signs have burnt out.


Aaaaarrgghhh, you can feel it dude. You can feel it!