Following some recent themes here at rubynet I decided to go investigate

[ObedientGirl69]

"Vagina poo"

Rectovaginal fistula

Usually Obstetric fistula


That can make poo come out your damaged vagina hole and without proper health treatment can lead to death.

Also....

6 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Childbirth


Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_16508...#ixzz30RYlUgpW

You know what's scarier than death? Birth.

For those of you about to have your first child, or who are considering it, you should know that there are some things about childbirth they're not telling you. Disgusting, horrifying things.

Our goal here isn't to talk you out of having kids (it'd suck to be the website that convinced mankind to go extinct). We just want you to be prepared so you don't run screaming from the hospital.

#6.
The Placenta


Webster's defines the placenta as: "the organ in most mammals, formed in the lining of the uterus by the union of the uterine mucous membrane with the membranes of the fetus, that provides for the nourishment of the fetus and the elimination of its waste products."

Urban Dictionary would describe it (if there was such and entry) as, "The lumpy, blood-soaked terror that comes out after the baby and will visit you in your nightmares for years to come."


This is a blobfish. A real placenta can be found here if you dare.

The upside of witnessing the birth of a placenta is that the image it burns into your soul will make you thankful for the six sex-free weeks you have ahead of you. The downside is that you will forever wonder if your baby had a previously unnoticed twin who could have went on to make you a fortune as the star of untold numbers of b-rated horror films.



Picture a vagina blowing a meat-bubble. Now imagine someone surgically attaching that meat-bubble to a newborn via a pulsating sausage casing.

#5.
Episiotomies


Modern medicine is full of examples of "cures" that seem worse than the condition they are designed to treat (or in the case of episiotomies, prevent). For instance, the dreaded episiotomy. The word itself comes from the Greek "epison," which means "pubic region," and "-tomy" which, one can only assume, means "to cut the fuck out of."

In an episiotomy, a scalpel is used to create an incision that starts at the bottom of the vagina, and goes downward towards the rectum. As if this wasn't hard enough to watch without crying like the little girl that our high school gym teachers always knew we would turn out to be, the procedure is carried out at the same time the baby's head is forcing its way out.


This, but with scissors. And a vagina. And imagine a screaming baby coming out of the box.

Why would a highly trained, and over-paid professional do such a procedure? To keep the vagina from tearing, silly. To the layman (and by "layman" we mean weeping, trembling onlooker), this seems like breaking your own windows with bricks to keep the neighborhood kids from breaking them with baseballs.

So why do they do it? Remember that time Barney the dinosaur locked his keys in his car and tried to get in by climbing in thru the exhaust pipe? Well childbirth can be just like that. But in reverse. And with blood. And instead of an exhaust pipe, it's a vagina.

Yeah, just like that.

#4.
Feces


You might be tempted to think all the time you have spent watching clips of poo-porn on the internet would prepare you for this, but you would be wrong. We'll spare most of the smelly details since Cracked is a family site (as long as your family consists of alcoholic pop-culture junkies) but be assured that after the birth experience your view of poop will never be the same.

First off, the mom-to-be is going to take a big fat dump on the hospital bed. Yes, Hollywood tends to leave that part out.

Apparently, passing an 8-pound canned ham through your hoo-ha compresses the intestine and has a tendency to push any fecal material inside of it out of the body. Also, there will probably be no fewer than 10 people in the room watching it happen. Oddly, mom may not even know it has happened, and those who witnessed it will probably be too polite (or horrified) to say anything.



Secondly, the baby is gonna poo too. That isn't news. In fact, "baby-shit yellow" is a color available on the new Chevy Camaro. Oddly, that same color is not an option available for the baby's first duke. For the first few days the baby's bowel movements will be black, and have the consistency of fresh roofing tar. Also, it will be about as easy to clean as fresh roofing tar. They may also taste like fresh roofing tar, but who wants to eat fresh roofing tar just to make that comparison?



To put it in perspective: Have you ever spent a night drinking cheap beer, only to wake up with a headache, and a serious case of black diarrhea? It's a lot like that. Which begs the question, "How did the baby get Budweiser in the womb?" The answer of course is: Through the umbilical cord. Duh!

[Dirty Beatle]

And then I found this, parents asking the internet how to clean poo out of their baby girl's vagina....

http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-to...3390705_644.bc

[Dirty Beatle]

And then I kind of regretted starting to read this....



"
so I was fingering my lady friend and noticed these hard lumps on the back side of her vagina, and I was like 'woah what are those hard chunks in there' and shes like 'what?' all unknowingly, then I realized it was poop! Her rectum was filled with poop and I could feel it through the wall of the vagina, I was somewhat fascinated by this and proceeded to examine it prolly somewhat like a doctor, feeling all around, scoping out the territory and range in which you could feel poop through the vagina.

We then had some sex and afterwards she commented on maybe needing to go poop, at which point I notioned that perhaps I could help ease the poop out of her rectum by putting my fingers into her vagina and pushing on the feces through the vagina wall. And so I did... it was interesting...

I then noted that perhaps you could make a specially formed dildo to insert in the vagina for the purpose of pushing on impacted feces in the rectum through the vagina, and it could be like a deconstipation tool.

Which agreed perhaps.

And then she said i was somewhat odd with my seeming interest in this subject and im like 'what? I cant possibly be the first guy to of mentioned this to you, I imagine every guy notices this and says something. Then she said I was the only guy to mention to her that I could feel poop through her vagina, let alone try to help deconstipate her by pushing the feces out with my finger through her vagina.

and im like.. no way... I cannot be the first guy... This is not hard to miss, theres got to be tons of dudes who have noticed this and tried it.

So I make this thread... have any of you told your lady friend that you can feel chunks of feces in her rectum from her vagina when fingering her?"

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/s...d.php?t=405784

[Dirty Beatle]

So I learned something today

I learned that it is possible to try and push poo out of your rectum by pushing it through your vagina wall. This information... I'm not really sure what I will do with it but I will add it to the vast store of my very useful and important knowledge.

[Dirty Beatle]

I got to tell you, I only read the first two paragraphs of that post before I decided I had read enough info and then honestly I was just trying to imagine that guy suggesting he could help her poo and how and then him actually doing it, like sitting there while she did a shit fingering her like he thinks it's science.... and oh how I laughed

Then I imagined requesting someone to aid you in such a fashion... Like just saying, "hey I have a couple of poo pebbles stuck up my ass... could you just...[gives instructions]..?"