I am an asshole, I constantly judge and critique people. I say mean things about people I don't know for a laugh. I judge other harshly and critically, yet I dislike most of my own traits. I am self-loathing, depressed, apathetic, and yet I think I am better then those around me.
I have nothing to back this inflated sense of superiority, It is just easy to disregard those around you as worse then myself. I am in constant self-reflection and rumination about my self identity and what I am doing with my life, yet I can never seem to get anywhere.
I want to make changes and improvements but I never follow through, comfort is king in my life it seems. I don't know if I suffer from an actual acute depression or I am just being a pussy. I have anxiety about my future constantly, yet I do nothing, which leads me to more anxiety and depression. It seems to be a vicious cycle of self-defeat that I can never seem to break.
I wish I could overcome myself.
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10-03-2014
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