And it was really hard because I have always wanted kids, I just never wanted to drag any into a fucked up situation, I really wanted kids but I didn't want the kids to have to live with a real shitty situation where their mother had lost their mind, their father was a Pyscho meth junky who was in and out of jail and just an abusive headcase. The whole situation, it would have been selfish and cruel to have a baby out of that.