Generic Ruby DayZ Videos Thread #420: Cag Strips For DayZ, ARMA 3, Skrizach & Stevey's Feathersona Special Edition

[rubycalaber]

blaze it up homey gays for this 420 special edition thread because it's 420 today and these videos were recorded on 420 (2 years ago lmao) and there's literally a 420 easter egg we discovered in DayZ itself, first up is a banter archive where I literally buy cag DayZ in return for her showing her tits lmao jon you are dating a literal whore

Banter Archive #002: Cag Sells Her Body For DayZ
this stupid thing features: marks who admits he likes three things about cody: that he kisses his ass, stirs up shit and will backstab anyone, yeah I love cody too m8, cody's there himself trying to fit in and taking jokes seriously, cag's there of course and she discusses how deso's voice is "audible chocolate" (agreed it makes me ), I'm there of course, elz is there making retard noises again throughout and camoron and reno the self appointed "deaf retard mexican whisperers" try and get him to talk and he manages to say "tim's hole" "cag show ass" and "stompleb is pedophile" and we joke that he's going to rape cag but he actually covers his eyes when cag shows her ass (which is extra significant to someone whos deaf if you think about it) also lisa turns up and has been flirting with elz thus cucking plugdrugs who I think she was flirting with also at the time and stompleb tries to cuck us all by reading out his native american poetry as cag is stripping for us and barry shows up at the end but we've all agreed not to show him any screencaps well 2 years later he can finally see them

now it's time for more tinychat creeper screencaps, get some snacks ready!


elz trying to signal to cag to agree to show her tits in exchange for DayZ since he can't speak


cag get's ready to strip the usual way: drinking wine straight from the bottle


cag shows her g-string, note how lisa loves it, fucking dyke


c-c-c-c-c-*cums in my pants*-CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG


oh god cagcagcagcagcagcagCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG


elz seeing a naked girl for the first time


elz demonstrating that he might be deaf but his other senses have been heightened to superhuman levels such as being able to withstand the smell of sweaty sneakers


elz' drawing of lisa lmao


tim shows up and immediately starts doing weird shit like showing us his sweaty feet


tims gross toenail


tim trying to steal my autofellatio gimmick


tim gets his arse out much to the lizard ladies enjoyment


tim then proceeds to put his curved cock into a penny box


oh yeah shake it tim


elz enjoys tim's male stripshow


elz does his takbir to cleanse himself in the eyes of allah after witnessing such degeneracy


reno instinctively miming sucking a dick when tim shows him his cum


tim shows everyone the porn he's literally been fucking a spare change box to much to everyones enjoyment


plug drugs tries to impress the room by getting his ballbag out but everyone goes completely blankfaced lmao


epic fail pluggy epic fail


lisa becomes stressed out that cag and even tim are getting more attention than her


lisa gets her tits out much to plug drugs enjoyment


lisa gets her arse out and starts twerking


lisa shows how she fucks (200 men)


cag becomes disheartened when she sees lisa has a better ass than her


reno likes the show


lisa becomes overjoyed that shes getting loads of attention


middle finger to all the fuckheads


speaking of fuckheads onto the stupid video game videos, first up is a game of the then recently released ARMA 3 with big man mental man steven yelle we played on 420 before we got on DayZ



its quite the earrape video since my mic sensitivity is all the way up and stevey like doesnt even have his headset on I dont think but basically I get in stevey's APC which he manages to drive about 10 meters before it breaks and then we get ambushed by a guy who combat logs as soon as we shoot back and then I magically teleport onto stevey's quadbike and we go for a wee drive until a random person shows up and lets us ride in his pickup truck only for me to bluescreen which results in a really weird final frame where you can see the aliens alien language that sent the alienware to earth, best quote: me: "I'm getting wall of texted here, it's like I'm reading one of my shit threads, I don't want to read any of this shit mate, go away"



while I'm posting arma 3 footage that is a video of when I played it for the first time with tek and of course its riddled with glitches (including turning into a bird, snakes flying at you and choppers flying upside down) and infested with hackers (one called Adolf Hitler and the other one called WeedLordBonerHitler 420 (oh yeah I almost forgot, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HITLER!!! (also happy columbine shooting aniversery!))) but when we eventually get it working and find a good server we have some lels when a guy drives up to me and asks me "sup :]" who I then shoot dead and steal his quadbike causing him to call me an "asswipe" and a "fucking punk" and then we vaugely start doing well where we buy guns and kill a guy who drives a truck up to us, run over someone by accident on a quadbike, fight a guy in an armored car and have a destruction derby race around an airport, best quotes: tek: "I'm in a nice little village, I bet you wish you were in a nice little village, get it get it get it get it?", random guy: "oh people dont die when you pump bullets into their head, awesome" me: "this is a good war sim though since real war is sitting around doing fucking nothing for 90% of the time and then there's 9% doing something really fucking boring like walking around and then 1% getting shot dead instantly out of nowhere not having any fun in combat, so... good work bohimia I know how miserable it is to be a soldier now thanks" me: "I cant fucking believe the DayZ stand alone is going to be worse than this, since this is like the prime of ARMA this is such advanced ARMA shenanigans and its absolute shit" me: "I need to go through like 17 menus to open my eyes" me: "this game is marginally better than DayZ, AKA like I'm only getting tortured for a week instead of two weeks" me: "I absolutely adore how you have to stand stock still and then push 2 buttons to aim a fucking gun and that's if you're in the perfect stance and don't have to push 18 buttons to stand up"

up next is what happened when I tried to instal the dayz port for ARMA3 called zoombies... it uh... didnt go so well



zoombies has since been forced to shut down before I even got it working for just straight up copy and pasting dayz code and putting it in arma3 lmao, ok onto the dayz videos



I meet up with stevey pretty quickly but of course there is unplayable lag and we take about 5 minutes to fight one guy even though I have a sniper rifle because hes teleporting around all over the place like a mad cunt, the theme of real world mass murders being connected to my dayz videos continues as deso messages me about the boston bomber being caught last season it was james holmes almost killing cberry lmao, then skrizach joins us only to admit that HE LIKES WARZ BETTER THAN DAYZ, best quote of the video: enraged chechen child: WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?!!!



stevey and skrizach meet up but of course stevey immediately gets thrown off a ladder and dies but he respawns close by and we all meet up and we decide to lock ourselves in a posting shed but of course the 30 odd zombies outside start phasing in through the walls to get us so stevey climbs up a smoke stack only to find [GLOW=red] AN EASTER EGG HIDDEN INSIDE THE SMOKE STACK OF SANTA CLAUS SMOKING WEED 420 BLAZE IT BITCH!!! [/GLOW]

then after skrizach takes out literally 27 zombies single handidly with his axe a fuckmaster shows up and kills him and we thought he took him with him but as I'm trying to see santa toking it up I get shot in the bum by him so I slowly climb down the ladder as he shoots at me from one meter away and misses and then we run side by side shooting at each other until I die at random, good gameplay, then I respawn near skizach but I get auto kicked from the game in a way that takes me to an admin panel or something lmao so I immediately start trying to break as much shit as I can but it just puts me back into the game and when the three of us meet up again I find a chopper that actually fucking works and takes off and I have fun flying it for about a minute until some cunt with an AS-50 shoots it and I have to parachute out just in time for it to hit the ground and explode which for some reason also kills steveyos and then a hacker throws skizack 100 feet up into the air and it kills him ya know just a typical day in dayz and that is too much for skriz to take so he stops playing, best quote: stevey: "they killed ruby so bad it killed me" stevey: "we could be playing second life right now is all I'm saying" me: "oh yeah someone's made like a barricade of tents, I'm going to try and V step into them and it'sOOOOOOOH OOOOOOOHG-THRTHTHRSTLINGICNTFKNGTKTHRSTLNICNTBLEVTHERUSTLING!!!!!!!!!! oh I tried to v step over tents and it broke both my legs and rammed the femur bone up my anus and I started bleeding, jesus wept"



while trying to respawn steveyos finds that the game has TURNED HIM INTO A FUCKING BIRD, LITERALLY A PLAYABLE BIRD THAT HE CAN FLY ABOUT and I hold off a dozen zombies in the elektro school until he shows up (flying through solid walls and even my own body of course) and then he comes up with the pro gamer idea to be my UAV and fly around above the city and call out fagboy locations to me (funny how clunkily we called out targets back then before we started using the contact - location - direction - description system) and the first enemy he calls out is a jeep that of course proceeds to phase straight through the school and through a pub and through some houses brilliant and then I make the mistake of crawling behind a counter in a grocery store which breaks my leg but thankfully my gaurdian angel spirit animal steven yelle visits me in his bird form to comfort me but I get too cocky with stevey flying around inside the store seemingly actually distracting the zombies and I roleplay being a cashier and it doesnt go to well and I'm like alright zombies, what are you buying today? some human brains? oh no! oh no! you cheeky cuOH NO! OH NO I TRIED TO BE FUNNY AND IT DIDNT WORK OUT! WELCOME TO RUBYNET YOU CANT BE FUNNY! and then stevey tries to save me by seeing if he can peck at them or lay an egg on them



then stevey starts getting shot at and hes like this is fucking duck hunt right now and when I respawn I see a guy spawning too and I'm like oh no it's a race to see who can take their gun in and out! and we have an epic gun fight where we run in circles shooting at each other and after both getting shot 20 times each I finally bleed out before he does and at the start he is like why are you shooting?! but at the end he's like laughing along with me at how unrealistic and bad the game is lmao and when I respawn I find a chopper in the middle of the road thats of course not working but another guy turns up and I only realize there's two choppers when he says out loud oh look there's too saying anything out loud to yourself irl is weird enough but saying things out loud to yourself in a video game is quite autistic and when I shoot him in the chest to no effect he says hey there's two choppers we can take one each lmao sorry but my objective is to stop you from having fun and I get the idea to use the door gun on one of the choppers to shoot him but of course it's just stuck shooting at the ground and then I automatically pass out ya know typical dayz the mod really was literally unplayable lmao and then the guy I shot before turns up and starts going through my shit as I'm passed out and when I wake up I try and get him but HES DRAGGING MY BODY AROUND AND HE POINTS ME TOWARDS THE ZOMBIES TO TRY AND GET THEM TO EAT ME but then I hear him telling his friend or something that he's paralyzed too so I try and convince him to let me go so the zombies dont get us both but he refuses so I go when you fucking die I'm gonna read your username and then I'm gonna google your username and find out your real name and I'm gonna kill you in real life but hes ready to die irl and the game to rustle me and then he collapses before I do for some realistic reason and I am stuck taking my gun out three times and wriggling through a mass of a dozen zombies as they gangbang me and when I die I can still talk to this guy on the loading screen due to good game design so I tell him I'm hacking his computer and can see his cp collection lmao then I respawn at the same place so get in the same door gun thats still glitched but instead of knocking me out this time the game kicks me for a script restriction when I try and reload the gun lmao wow then I respawn in the same place for the third time and stevey has respawned to become a human again and I see a bird and have to ask him if its him lmao and we realize that from now on whenever we see a bird we're gonna be like is that just a bird or is it a player and then I hop in the door gunner seat of the other chopper just as another player runs up to shoot stevey but I FIRE THE 50 CALIBER MOUNTED MACHINE GUN STRAIGHT INTO HIS CHEST A DOZEN TIMES and he stands there unaffected and shoots me once with his revolver and I instantly drop out of the seat and stand straight upright and pass out but I can still shoot my revolver while unconscious for some reason so I shoot him with that and that kills him.... it realisms.... then I wake up and get back into the door gunner seat to shoot more fuckboys running down the road but a fuckboy actually gets into the chopper seat to try and take off so I get out and shoot him in the head through the window which of course doesnt kill him and when he gets out I cylinder dump into his chest which vaguely injures him and when he runs off to a bush to bandage I jog up to him and blow his brains out as hes stuck in a stationary animation a minute aka the only way to get a confirmed kill in dayz which changes my character skin to be a bandit which teleports me to the debug plains and then teleports me back which made me think a hacker had gotten me good game, best quote: steven yelle: "there's just no way to make this game fun, I'm high and I'm drunk and all this does is sober me up and make my back hurt and piss me off"



stevey and I decide to just camp in a small shed thing to wait for someone to come towads the choppers and as soon as steveyo's starts joking about how long it takes to meet each other and how we'll be sure to fuck up soon when HE NEGLIGENT DISCHARGES HIS GUN RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE and hes like dude I had my mouse on my bed and I tossed it down on the floor, that was like me dropping my gun in real life as it's sitting right next to me, there I go saying "we spent 5 hours trying to find each other" and I almost shoot you in the head lmao and then we camp for a little longer and stevey is like god yeah look how scary it is with those zombies walking around out there, imagine if this was actually a game that works? but then as some obnoxious little kid is talking in side chat about how his mum has cancer and will die in two days and how he hopes north korea nukes everyones countries I talk back to him saying hey my friend is in south korea right now dont joke about the north nuking anyone the zombies outside literally hear me talking lmao and come to get us and we have to run off but then I use it to my advantage by yelling abuse at the zombies so they come towards me instead of stevey who needs to bandage and then we walk further east to komorovo or whatever and stevey is like it's something humanity should remember for the future so we never let something like this happen again and I'm like yeah like world war 1, world war 2, the holocaust and dayz and as if to prove him right when we get to the next town a sniper starts taking pot-shots at us and we run off and regroup and we decide this will be our epic final battle since if we right now went alright I'm tired of playing let's leave it then we'll never find each other in this game ever again in our entire lives so we're here now and there's a guy over there causing trouble so let's go and fucking rape him tune in right now for the epic conclusion



stevey and I come up with a plan on how to take this guy out who's set up ontop of a roof with a sniper rifle by the beach and we're in town inland and stevey decides he'll run out and distract him while I sneak in and we both run down there and he doesnt seem to notice us since we use cover tactically to hide and when I get inside the building I tell stevey to fire his gun outside to distract him but the guy hears me coming and yells down woah woah woah woah! who's down there? and I go its just me, I dont mean any harm! and hes like uh alright dude, I'm a friendly are you a friendly? so I go yeah I'm a friendly, do you need any like bandages or anything? and he goes uh no do you need anything? so I say uh yeah I need a bandage cause I'm bleeding and I ran out which was a bad lie since I just implied I had bandages but thankfully people who plays dayz are dumb and he goes ok come up so I say ok I'm coming up, I have a bandit skin but dont freak out because it was self defense and I climb up the ladder and I say ok I'm coming out so dont freak out and the guy is fiddling in his inventory actually about to give me some bandages lmao so I carefully aim my revolver at his head and put five bullets directly into it and nothing happens for a few seconds of course and he doesnt seem to notice and goes so how many do you need again? I have three-ee-ee and his voice warps as he flops over dead lmao #btfo #betrayedtobyabadreason and then steveyos comes up and is like alright I dont know about you but I feel real bad just killing him like that and I'm like I'm very happy, I love killing people who are trying to help me! and then he holds off the probably infinitely spawning zombie hoard that starts climbing up the ladder as I fiddle to get the snipers rifle ready but then the guy himself starts shooting at steveyos ontop of the roof with his revolver and he goes in side chat YOU GUYS ONTOP OF THERE YOU SHOULDNT HAVE KILLED ME! so stevey keeps running around trying to make him reveal his position so I can get him and then a random person starts going d-dont kiiiill uuuus! and the guy I killed yells DUDE YOU'RE THE ONES, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED ME FIRST! and some random guy tells him to just type it instead of say it and this buttblasted gayboy says YOU KILLED ME FIRST BRO SO YOU'RE GETTING WHAT YOU GOT! lmao so mad so I employ even more epic trolls when he asks in the chat if the people on the roof are the ones that killed him so I type in the chat that I saw the bandit that shot him run off so hopefully he trusts steveyos and thinks I left since stevey doesnt have the scarf on and nametags werent in this server and then stevey calls out a guy on the beach so I take a shot at him but he knows to hide in a bush and zig zag so I just start dumping the DMR at him and manage to break his leg and then after shooting a zombie I put him out of his misery (of playing this game) but it was actually another guy and not the guy we rustled the first time unfortunately and then zombies immediately start pouring in like L4D or something and they knock me out and when I wake up they are filling up the room so I have to climb down the ladder and bandage in a room where they magically cant walk into for no reason but as soon as that's dealt with two cars drive around outside so I rush to take up a sniping position to stop them from having fun and I hear outside someone telling them he doesnt want to die so if he just walks away... and I dont hear any gunhots and they type in the chat do you want a pick up so I say yes hoping they'll let me get near them but someone shoots me through a window or some dogshit so maybe it was the guy we rustled coming with his whole grew to fuck me up if they ignored the first guy and only went for me with the bandit scarf on lmao rustled as fuck that was some surprisingly good operating we came up with two good plans to take out two targets and they actually worked and we decide that's as good as the game is gonna get so quit for the day

happy 420 and dont forget to smoke weed all day every day!


but watch you dont smoke some of that Utopium shit or you'll turn into a zombie like lisa did!


special message for roxtoyz: dont worry m8 I will try and add you to more megathreads in the future thanks for posting on rubynet

[Plug Drugs]

that wasnt me fyi. someone using saved gifs of me again

[Plug Drugs]

i dont have that long of hair so.. that can't be me

[roxtoyz666]

Oh don't worry my friend. Just saying hello is fine. I'm a saint and a monk so i try and behave like one.

[roxtoyz666]

i dont have that long of hair so.. that can't be me

[roxtoyz666]

so i get this is an mmo but is there player progession? like if i played this do i start off at a low level or something?

edit: my mistake this is dayz not h1z1..
Thought you were playing h1z1 this whole time.

[roxtoyz666]

i know today is 420 but i am sober. i saw a broken pipe on the stairwell of my apartment though.