I had a panic attack just trying to go to sleep, I haven't had one in years

I'm in a bit of a fucked up way, I don't think I'm having an episode but I think I could end up having one if I'm not carefull, I did actually sleep though so I don't think I'm having an episode because I stop sleeping when that happens but awake at 8am again..... I'm not sure if I should get out of bed today or not.

I keep wanting to take a break from here but eh, the forum is no worse off than it was weeks ago... in fact I think it has had more activity with me here and I don't know but I'm obsessed with forums. ANYWAY I'm on borrowed time for a week anyway as I didn't pay my internet bill yet and any day now my wireless will be cut... I'll have 3G on my ancient iphone but I won't just be laying around like I do with ipad posting... well lay around yes but posting is way more of an ass ache on my phone... it'll get paid next week anyway but technically I ran out of paid wireless yesterday... yet it still seems on so they haven't gotten around to cutting it yet.