Donny is not some delusional virgin who turns into a spastic.

He is also going to be too busy competently fucking me to buy me ipads, though he would buy me one if I wanted him to. See he's actually attentive to what you want and just doesn't ignore your every request and then buy you stuff you tell him not to to make up for not being able to fuck. Mainly because he can fuck. Mainly because he is a completely different person to rootbeer which I assume you are trying to reference as you have very very limited knowledge about who I've actually dated.