should liosa get her subforum or whatever inane nosense shes beeen begging for

[Battery Bits]

Bros before hos yo

That is if you're sad fugly loser with no hope of ever getting laid anyway

[Battery Bits]

Cody used to say bros before hos a lot

Implying that you should be friends with him on the basis of being male

Women found him repulsive in every way though, a good example of how oftentimes males really are the slower on the uptake sex

[Battery Bits]

It'll all be better when I get my hidden section

[Wendy <3]

Jack Ruby

~ENFJ~
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[Battery Bits]

As IF you know how to not revolve around me.

Is that going to be all you post now?

[maks]

Jack Ruby

~ENFJ~
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[Wendy <3]

I wish it worked for threads also

[maks]

petition to change lisa's name to louse

[Wendy <3]

I want her name to be slesh because they both have dead babies

[Battery Bits]

So you're going to just sit here posting about me and nothing else. Um ok.

[maks]

I've been pming people on https://www.reddit.com/r/Miscarriage/ trying to get them to register

[maks]

Started bleeding last night. Went to ER. Waited over 3 hours to be seen. It was horrible. Had blood test. Was told I'd get a u/s on the phone but it wasn't the case. No cramps. Just light blood.
Nothing all night. Started bleeding again. Had a disaster on the bus. (Was in such a hurry I couldn't pay because I didn't think before I left home) an old lady helped because I broke down crying. I really had hoped the bus driver would have just let me on.
So I went to my doctor. Had another blood test, pathologist f-ed up (I have small veins), went to u/s place. They said they can't do anything til WEDNESDAY. Queue more crying. I didn't want to wait. Thankfully they squeezed me in. I was told the u/s tech would tell me if there was an obvious problem, otherwise it would be reviewed by a dr. So I wait nearly 2 hours. The ultrasound was scary and she just kept saying "are you ok?" I said no, I'm scared. She said that it was the test they do for everyone. Um. I'm scared of losing my baby, not the "test". She barely spoke other than asking me if I was ok.
So I'm back in the waiting room. She was speaking with the receptionists and they kept staring at me. Not a good sign. Eventually the dr comes out and tells me IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WAITING ROOM there's no heartbeat. Then kinda just says "ok?" Like I wouldn't understand the implication because he couldn't just come out and say it. He told me to go back to my gp. I got called back to reception and she was like "ok so you know you have to go back to the dr right?" And I said yes but I don't really know why. She basically was just like "ok well I'm glad he told you" and then I just left.
Thankfully the receptionist at my gp was a lot nicer. Offered for me to sit in another room, and it wasn't like she was worried I'd upset the other patients, it was like she was genuinely concerned. She even asked if she could get anything for me. She got me a water and I sat in the room and cried. The doctor basically was like "you're young" "do you have any idea how many infertile women come through here?" and talked about how my baby probably had a disability. I'd already decided no harmony test, scans for abnormalities etc, if my baby had a disability I'd deal with it and love it. ("IT", I don't even know if it was a girl or boy) So, yeah, the dr didn't help. I told her I was scared. I had a history of depression. She seemed like I'd feel fine tomorrow though. Like I will just be happy. She didn't take my depression seriously.
I have another appointment tomorrow. I don't know why. I don't want to go back. I'll never be the same. I have this history and I already feel alone. My family are horrible, they weren't ever going to meet the baby. I don't have true "friends".
I don't feel like I have a reason to go on. I'm not religious. I don't want my pain minimalised. I still have pregnancy symptoms. Throwing up. Food aversions. I have followed all the food rules. The extremely tough ones, even (like my own leftovers don't get touched after 24 hours). And it's just never seemed worth it, the risk. I started the food rules before I even got pregnant. I didn't want to be one of those "I did x, y & z before I knew I was pregnant". I just keep hoping this is a mistake.
I thought about ringing a helpline for depression/suicide. Last time I was told to try gardening. I hung up. Those people never help me. I've had depression for 2 decades btw. Childhood depression included. Had therapy on and off for over 15 years. I have been hospitalized twice this year due to suicide threats.

[maks]

I had my D&C this morning. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had; they ended up doing general (not originally planned) because I couldn't even communicate, I was crying and shaking so bad. I had an asthma attack during surgery. But yet, nothing sounds better than being drugged up right now, because I have to bury my son tonight.
I can't eat. I can't sleep. I haven't stopped crying or shaking since I woke up from surgery 12 hours ago. Neither my therapist nor my psychiatrist has much to offer me right now.
I feel like I'm being crushed by the weight of all of this. I don't want to say goodbye. I'm not ready for this to actually be over. I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive this. I just want to stop hurting. I know I never really will, and it's good that I'm grieving, but I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do next. I honestly can't even remember how to brush my teeth. I just want to keep sleeping until I can be happy again.
I was doing okay last week, after Oliver was born. I was sad but I was coping well. Now I'm a train wreck.
I don't feel strong enough to handle this. Somebody please help.

[maks]

she'd be a good one

[maks]

lets ruin her https://www.reddit.com/user/the_real_DA

[Wendy <3]

I don't have any friends anymore. I have really bad social anxiety, so I've just stopped interacting with other people. Plus, I feel so much shame from this miscarriage that I can't bear to face other people. I couldn't even look my OB in the eye at my follow up appointment yesterday.
Honestly, I never want to leave my house again. My son is buried in a planter that's inside right now, and I don't want to leave him behind.
I know this is something I need to talk to my therapist about. She hasn't been very helpful with coping with the miscarriage thus far, so I don't really want to talk to her about it. Plus, I won't actually see her again until 12/15 due to the holiday and other scheduling issues.
This all just sucks. I can't even eat right now.

[what]

lol who posted that?

[maks]

My son is buried in a planter that's inside right now, and I don't want to leave him behind.

[maks]

her house must smell p good lets ask her

[Poopalew]

her house must smell p good lets ask her

I would grab his Bible and show him various scriptures that revealed the truth about Jehovah God Jesus and the last days.

[Wendy <3]

That person sounds almost as insane as slesh does

[maks]

well they did murder their own children

[Wendy <3]

And bragged about it openly

[maks]

fucking monsters, all of them

[Poopalew]

fucking monsters, all of them

Are these mammoth sea monsters slow and clumsy in this country like that of its human companions is both romantic and tragic.