ARE YOU CLOSE:

My dad's chilled out a lot since he's gettin' up there in age so he's a bit easier to talk to. Plus, I'm sure he's scared he'll die of a heart attack if he gets too turnt up - which is funny cuz his ass NEED to be scared of these mufuckin' hands and gettin' that old dusty ass drop kicked down a flight of steps if he come at me wrong, now. I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU NO MO', DADDY!
*ahem* But yeah, never been 'close' to him in the sense of holding any real conversations, or hands, or hugging, saying "I love you", or sharin' his side bitches wit a nigga BUT he was always there financially - he'd chip in for a car, gas if I'm stuck, lawyer fee's, etc. Bailed me out of jail, once. My mom's cool. I learned she's as 2 faced as Joe Bruce as I got older but she's still great emotional support. As, as, as.

ARE THEY OLD AS SHIT:

YOU are! J/k. My folks were in their mid-20's by the time they had me so nah, they aren't too old - which is dope 'cuz some of my homies were uncles when they was still in elementary school. That shit's weird, yo. Old ass balls slappin' against your moms cunt.

WHAT DID THEY DO FOR A LIVING:

Cry in disappointment.
Dad was an Air Traffic Controller. Mom worked fast food the first few years of my life. It was fresh. I remember her bringin' home mad buckets of KFC and when she worked at McDonald's, young McHowdy got his McNugget on in the back kitchen like a McDon. She eventually quit and ran a daycare, at the crib. That was cool too 'cuz I'd dry hump the fuck out of Allison upstairs 'til I got reported - j/k, we were the same age.

DO YOU LIKE HOW YOU WERE RAISED:

"Could have been worse". lot of bones to pick but I can say my dad is responsible for most of the shittiness, so if he was out of the picture I reckon life would have been more chill. Or not. Mom could have ended up with another asshole, who makes Michael Myers masks.

DID THEY TEACH YOU VALUES:

No. My mom let me get away with pretty much anything and my dad's a selfish asshole. I mean look at me. I post pics getting my asshole ate.

DO YOU HAVE NEGATIVE TENDENCIES LEARNED THROUGH THEM:

I'm very ying-yang due to them being so opposite. I'm very sensitive yet talk the most shit. I'll fight for my friends but will also fuck their girlfriend. I'll fuck a pussy but also suck a dick. etc, etc.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT LIFE WITHOUT THEM:

Life without my dad, yes. Always seemed doap. Probably woulda got to stay up later and cool things of that sort.

DO YOU ASK THEM FOR MONEY:

No. I demand it.

WERE YOU DISCIPLINED A LOT? HOW:

Got my toosh whooped a lot but I was mostly berated. Then again I'd probably berate my son too if he was a juggalo and hung around a buncha niggers.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SERIOUS DISAGREEMENT:

See above.