If my aunt in Connecticut tries to move her state mandated decorations, painfully loud alarms start going off until it's moved back to where it was.

The dishwasher in my aunt's guest house in Connecticut is also a portal to Narnia

My aunt's bathtub in Connecticut fills up with laundry detergent whenever the cat takes a piss in it.

My aunt and uncle in Connecticut recently discovered that 'outside' has a ceiling, and their whole neighborhood is actually within a giant warehouse.

The entire state of Connecticut can actually detach from the continental United States and float away to safety in the event of a nuclear holocaust.

Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell was arguing with my dad in our living room in Connecticut; Sam bopped him on the top of his head with a water bottle then went to use the john.

Once in a while my TV in Connecticut grows legs and hangs out with me for 2 hours and we fight crime together